


An Unerring Heart

by Homeo (Wherefore_art_thou_Homeo)



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I made it gayer, M/M, Minor Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts, canon compliance? don't know her, listen. intsys opened this can of worms. now it is my personal responsibility to make them lay in it, underestimate not the wherewithal of the scorned gay with an english degree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2020-11-24 05:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 72,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20902052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherefore_art_thou_Homeo/pseuds/Homeo
Summary: A story about loving, losing, and loving again.Follows Leon and Valbar from the years 396-407.(Update schedule went to hell. Subscribe if you want to be notified when an update happens ~)





	1. Chapter One

_VC 396_

Valbar narrowed his eyes and raised one hand to shield them from the setting sun. On the horizon, he could just see a faint smudge of smoke. He grimaced to himself; there would likely be fighting tomorrow. He trusted in his soldiers, and had helped train many of them personally, but there would be losses regardless. Many of the people he led had never seen combat before. Valbar himself was among the few who had.

“Sir Valbar!” called a familiar voice from behind him. Valbar shook himself and did his best to smooth out his expression as he turned to face the man hurrying toward him.

Nathaniel beamed and waved as he approached. He was a young man, bold as his light-blue hair – brand-new to combat, but strong, highly skilled, and a natural leader. Valbar would be proud to fight at his side tomorrow.

“That’s them?” Nathaniel asked, drawing level with Valbar and surveying the camp in the distance.

“’Fraid so,” Valbar replied, resting his hands on his hips. “Closer than I thought they’d be.”

There had already been skirmishes with Rigelians as they edged onto the Zofian border. Though a formal declaration of war had not yet been made, Valbar was certain it could not be much longer coming. The losses on both sides were becoming too great to ignore. Not that King Lima was in any particular rush to do something about them. Valbar gritted his teeth.

Nathaniel exhaled and shook his head. “In any case,” he said, “I’ve a letter for you. A courier just stopped by.”

Valbar looked back to find Nathaniel holding out an envelope, sealed with pale blue wax. He grinned and took the letter from him, carefully pushing the seal with his thumb to avoid cracking it.

“Expecting it?” Nathaniel asked.

“From my wife,” Valbar explained. “We write at least once a week. I was beginning to think she’d forgotten about me.”

He slid the letter out and opened it. It wasn’t long; Victoria’s letters never were. He always wished she would write more, and often said as much, but she insisted there simply wasn’t anything more that was interesting enough to tell him.

“You know it all already,” she had said the last time he had visited home – almost a year ago now. Far too long. “I went to the market to fetch food. Byron came with me and played with the merchants’ children. We stayed out later than I meant and came home tired. Your brother made dinner for everybody.”

She had sounded almost rueful saying it. Valbar had felt a little pang of guilt; she had grown up in an exciting, bustling big city, and had never lacked for entertainment or companionship. He sometimes felt he had torn her away from all that when they came to live in his hometown, a tiny village by the sea.

But she’d picked up on how he felt. She had looked up at him quickly and smiled, her brown eyes alight.

“There’s nothing wrong with the quiet life, Val,” she’d said, giving his shoulder a little shove. “You know I’d tell you if I ever wanted anything different.”

She never had, not once in seven years together. His heart swelled when he remembered that smile.

He read her letter quickly.

_Val – _

_ We miss you greatly here. Byron keeps begging me to tell you to come home. He misses his father. He’s grown since you were last home. He stands as tall as my waist now. He has been quite a gracious helper around the house lately, much to your parents’ delight. (They send their love as well! Your brother adds that once you’re done being a hero, you should get back here and help him build that shed you had planned on. “Did you enlist just to avoid doing that,” he wonders. Val!)_

_ In any case, we are all well. I will try to send you a gift from home next time._

_ I have sent your well wishes to our friends as well. It seems the whole town is clamoring for our knight’s return, tough none more loudly than his family._

_ Do hurry and save Zofia. The house is cold without you._

_ Yours,_

_ Victoria._

Valbar smiled gently down at the bold signature at the bottom of the page. It was just like her to confine her declarations of affection to short passages, to hide them within declarations from others. She was outspoken about all things but love.

It eased his mind to know that their son was asking for him. Byron had only been four years old when he left, and was now nearing five. It had been so long since Valbar had been home that he was worried his son would forget his face.

_Soon_, he silently promised as he folded his letter and tucked it inside his jacket. I’ll be home to you soon.

Beside him, Nathaniel sighed and shifted his weight to one foot.

“Who all do you have waiting at home?” he asked.

“My parents, brother and sister, and my wife and son,” Valbar replied. “Not to mention friends. Small town. Yourself?”

Nathaniel laughed gently and pushed his hair back from his forehead. “Nobody waiting,” he said. “Parents are gone. No other family. Most everybody who’s left came here with me.”

“You’ve got them all at your side, then?” Valbar asked. “That can be a comfort and a strength.”

Nathaniel scuffed the toe of one boot in the dirt. “True,” he said. “I only wish I could know they were safe.”

Valbar clapped one hand on his shoulder and Nathaniel shook himself. He shot Valbar a quick smile.

“Never mind that,” he went on, squaring himself up. “I’ll just take it upon myself to be their shield. I won’t let anything get to them.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Nathaniel grinned at him. Valbar was about to say more, but a voice from behind them interrupted his thoughts.

“Nathaniel!” a man’s voice called. “That’s you up there, right?”

Valbar and Nathaniel turned and looked down at the man at the foot of the hill. He was a short, wiry young man with long lilac hair tied back from his face. Valbar recognized him as one of the unit’s archers, and a close friend of Nathaniel’s, but not by name; they had never been introduced.

“Leon,” Nathaniel called back. “What is it?”

Leon smiled easily and crossed his arms. “You’re wanted in the mess hall,” he said. “I’ve been told you’re on dinner duty this evening?”

Nathaniel hissed through his teeth. “Shit,” he muttered. “I am, aren’t I?”

Leon laughed and waved him down. “Hurry up, or there may be hell to pay,” he said, and turned on his heel to depart.

Nathaniel watched him go a while. Valbar noticed him biting his lip and laughed. Nathaniel hid a smile and elbowed him in the side, cheeks slightly flushed.

“He the one you wish you could come home to?” Valbar teased.

“Oh, leave me alone,” Nathaniel mumbled. But after a moment, he sighed and quietly added, “Y’know… he might be.”

Valbar gave him a shove. “Well then, go after him and make sure you report for dinner duty,” he said. “Or you may not see tomorrow.”

“Yessir,” Nathaniel laughed, and hurried off down the hill.

Valbar watched as he rushed to catch up with Leon, who had stopped a little ways away. He put an arm around Leon’s shoulders as they started walking. Leon, in return, looped his arm around Nathaniel’s waist.

Valbar watched them out of sight, and then his smile fell away. He turned to face the horizon again, looking over the expansive army spread out among the hills.

The battle to follow would surely be too big to ignore. Even for King Lima, an all-out attack on the kingdom’s smallest outpost had to be cause for alarm. They had sent a messenger to the royal capital at the first sign of Rigelian troops gathering, but it seemed unlikely now that any aid would reach them in time.

Valbar reached inside his jacket and touched the letter in his pocket.

_ I’ll come home to you,_ he promised his family again._ Once I’m sure it’s safe for me to leave, I’ll come right back and never leave you again._

He thought of Nathaniel and his friend. Of all the young people in his unit who would see their first real combat tomorrow.

For them, too. Valbar would fight to make sure all of them could go home, wherever home was for them.

He held his wedding ring to his lips and kissed it, then took one last long look over the border.

He would hold them off. He wouldn’t let the enemy take a single step closer to any Zofian family.

Valbar turned and began descending the hill, the sun setting behind him as he walked.

\- - -

It was a battle hard-won. The first of many, and what would officially become known as the flash point of the Rigelian-Zofian war. The losses on both sides were great enough that historians would long debate who truly won; the Rigelians, who defeated a larger fraction of Zofian troops than the other way around, had nevertheless failed to take the outpost they attacked. Fragmented though they were, the Zofians clung to their fort and held the line long enough for reinforcements to arrive.

Victory aside, however, thousands of human lives had been lost.

Valbar, injured himself but still mobile, moved among the wounded and dying, doing what he could to help. The mud underfoot was dyed a deep red by blood and the light of the setting sun. Bodies were strewn about the valley in which they camped, haphazardly left where they had been set down when they had been hauled off the battlefield hours before. Healers darted around them, calling out to others for aid.

They had held the line. They had lost many lives, and would lose many more as staves and healing implements ran out. The fort had been maintained. Rigelian invasion had been delayed anew.

But as Valbar moved throughout the camp, he did not feel like they had won. A different battle raged before him now – raged in the failing bodies of every injured soldier – a battle in which he was powerless, in which he could no longer protect anybody.

Still he helped where he could; he held gauze to stop bleeding, fetched staves and vulneraries, did what little could be done to comfort the grieving.

Valbar stood back a moment, taking time to breathe. The air smelled of iron. It threatened to turn his stomach. Bodies – alive, ailing, dying, dead – dotted the ground behind the walls as far as he could see.

His heart ached at all he could not do. He could not save them all. Some of these people simply could not be saved; it was simply too late, and there was simply nothing humanly possible. They were too far gone, they lacked the supplies, they had not been reached until too late…

Sometimes there was nothing to be done.

A soldier rushed past him – stumbled a few feet and nearly fell. Valbar moved to steady him, but he kept his footing and shrugged Valbar’s arm off his shoulder.

“Let me go,” he snapped, his voice brittle, before charging forward again. Valbar watched him go.

The soldier was dressed in light armor. An archer, Valbar guessed – he would have been stationed up on the outpost walls, away from the thick of the fighting.

The archer stopped walking after a while, cast about frantically, and then wrenched his hide helm off his head. Lilac-colored hair blew in the wind behind him as he screamed one name, over and over.

“NATHANIEL!”

Valbar’s heart sank. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen Nathaniel in hours. Dread filled his chest; the distraught young man before him was Nathaniel’s friend, Leon. He strode after the archer without thinking – not knowing what he would say or do once he reached him, only deeply knowing that _someone_ needed to do _something_.

Leon’s aimless searching turned him back to Valbar as he reached his side. Wild, tear-reddened violet eyes latched onto Valbar’s.

“Where is he?” Leon demanded, hands shaking at his sides. “Nathaniel. He was right beside you when we started fighting, wasn’t he?”

Valbar frowned, shaking his head. Nathaniel had indeed been at his side when the march had begun, but in the deafening surge of battle, he had lost sight of him quickly. “I haven’t seen him,” he admitted. “I don’t know where he is. I’m sorry.”

“Then why are you talking to me?” Leon growled.

He whirled away from Valbar and staggered onwards.

Valbar was struck in that moment by how young Leon was. Younger than Nathaniel, certainly; he couldn’t be a day over eighteen. Too young for this. An adult, assuredly, but far too young.

But then – age couldn’t prepare a person for this. For all the horror there was to see in war – nothing could.

He followed Leon at a distance, searching with him, following the agonized screaming of Nathaniel’s name, all the time begging in silence.

_Come on, Nathaniel._

_ Come on. _

_ Come home to him._

But all too soon, the screaming stopped. Valbar looked up at Leon abruptly.

He had stopped in his tracks towards the edge of the encampment. His hands were limp at his sides. For a moment, just a moment, the grounds seemed to fall completely silent.

Valbar broke into a run as Leon fell to his knees beside someone lying in the dirt. A man who had been left lying facedown, whose shoulder-length, light blue hair had come untied and now mingled unhindered with the mud and blood around him.

A soldier so strong in training, a man quick to smile, to laugh, to cheer his fellows on.

A very young man with someone to whom he had hoped to return.

Valbar’s breath left him as he reached Nathaniel. Leon was struggling to turn him over, but he elbowed Valbar away when he knelt to help. Valbar stood by, silent, hopeless, as Leon flipped Nathaniel onto his back.

“Nathaniel?” Leon wavered.

Pale, trembling hands cradled Nathaniel’s face. A dried trickle of blood ran out of one corner of his mouth. His brown eyes were dull, slightly open, staring at nothing.

Leon shook him. “Nathaniel,” he croaked. “H-hey. This isn’t funny. Stop messing around.”

Valbar could see a single, very dark wound at the base of Nathaniel’s neck. He didn’t move, no matter how Leon shook him, how he begged him.

Valbar wanted to say something, but there weren’t words for this.

Leon’s hands scrabbled at Nathaniel’s armor, unlatching it and shoving the breastplate aside, grabbing at the shirt. He bowed his head close to Nathaniel’s.

“Don’t go,” he said, voice about to shatter. “Nathaniel… please… you can’t… you can’t go, I…”

“Leon -”

But before Valbar could continue -

“DON’T GO!” Leon bellowed, wrenching at Nathaniel’s shirt, burying his head in his shoulder. “DON’T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!”

And Leon was gone. He clung to Nathaniel’s lifeless body and sobbed as though his heart had been torn out.

Valbar’s blood was running cold.

He should have been able to prevent this. He had been right at Nathaniel’s side. He should have been able to protect him.

He tried to shake these thoughts away, but they clung to him like ice water.

At a loss for anything else to do, he simply knelt near Nathaniel’s feet, listened to his friend’s senseless, broken weeping, waiting. Those who passed them by needed no explanation, and kept their distance.

The sun had nearly set now. Leon’s cries began to subside as he wore himself out. Valbar watched him, carefully waiting to speak.

When the sky was nearly dark, Leon’s crying stopped. He lay limp against Nathaniel’s chest, his breath coming in jagged gasps.

Valbar moved a little closer and gingerly placed a hand on Leon’s shoulder. He didn’t even flinch.

“Come on,” Valbar said gently. “Let’s get you back to base. I’m not leaving you out here in the dark.”

Leon didn’t move.

“Come with me. Please.”

Still nothing. Valbar raised his head and looked around at the people milling about, tending the dead. He caught the eye of one of them, resting near the walls with a fellow medic, and waved them over. They nodded tiredly, picked up their litter, and began making their way towards him.

Once that was done, Valbar looked back to Leon. He was gazing up at Nathaniel now. It was as if he had forgotten Valbar was there at all.

“Kid,” Valbar tried again. “Your name’s Leon, right?”

No reaction.

Valbar sat back on his heels and waited in silence for the medics to arrive. He nodded at them as they stumbled to a stop and set the litter down beside Nathaniel.

“Are they both…?” one of them asked, sounding detached. He waved vaguely over the two men on the ground.

“No,” Valbar said quickly. “No, just…”

Leon shifted himself closer to Nathaniel. He seemed to hold on still tighter.

“…The big guy,” Valbar finished.

“I see,” the medic intoned. “We’ll get him taken care of.”

“Can we ask your help?” the other medic asked. Her eyes seemed hollow.

“Of course,” Valbar replied. “What can I do?”

She nodded at Leon. “Can you… get him off of him?”

Valbar clenched his jaw.

“Yes,” he replied.

He moved to Leon’s side and put his hands on his shoulders. He steeled himself.

“Leon,” he began. “We need to move him, all right?”

Leon clung tighter.

“I’m sorry,” Valbar said. “I really am. I’m so sorry about this…”

And with that, he pulled Leon away from Nathaniel’s body.

“LET ME GO!” Leon screamed, strength suddenly renewed. “LET GO OF ME!”

Valbar leaned back, holding Leon under the shoulders with the crooks of his elbows, pulling him against the breastplate of his armor as tight as he could. He shot a meaningful glance at the medics as Leon struggled to free himself. They nodded and began shifting Nathaniel onto the litter.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM! DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM!”

The back of Leon’s head collided hard with Valbar’s armor as he thrashed about, but this only seemed to make him angrier. With what little mobility he was allowed, he tried to hit Valbar with his elbows, but Valbar was stronger. He held him easily.

“Leon,” Valbar winced. “Please. You’re going to hurt yourself.

“I’m sorry, but he’s gone.”

Leon struggled only a few moments more before the fight left him again. He lay against Valbar’s breastplate, still for the moment at least.

Without relaxing his hold on Leon, Valbar turned his attention back to Nathaniel, and to the medics, now examining him.

The deep wound in his neck seemed to be the only one. A single unlucky blow had ended his young life. An accident of chance that could not have been planned for. Even the heaviest of armor had holes.

The medics managed to move Nathaniel onto the litter. Valbar hesitantly loosened his arms and found that Leon did not struggle. He let him go entirely and he simply let his arms fall, making no move until the medics lifted Nathaniel off the ground. The first signs of life returned.

“Wait,” he croaked. “Wait…”

Valbar knelt in front of him and tried to catch his eye. It took a moment, but finally Leon looked his way.

“Where are they taking him?” His voice hurt to listen to. “What are they… _Nathaniel…_”

Valbar sighed. “Just back to base, kid,” he murmured. “They’re just going to find a place for him there. They’re not taking him away from you.”

The medics began the trek back to camp. Leon made a small, desperate noise and tried to stand up, but he slipped in the mud and nearly fell. Valbar caught him under the arms and steadied him. The poor kid was pale as a ghost and shook all over. He craned his neck to keep Nathaniel in sight and did nothing to push Valbar away.

So Valbar helped him walk, half-carrying him at times, over that field of lost lives. It seemed to take an eternity just to make it back to the center of the outpost. Valbar kept his eyes straight ahead, keeping the medics bearing Nathaniel in sight at all times. He heard Leon begin crying softly as they drew nearer.

The loss this young man had just experienced – and would continue experiencing, most likely, for years to come – was unfathomable to Valbar. He had lost friends himself, but this went deeper. Even from what little he knew of the two of them – even from the outside – he could tell that Leon was devoted to Nathaniel.

Valbar shuddered and thanked the gods his family was safe.

It was finally dark when they at last reached the torchlit center of the camp. Leon was leaning heavily on Valbar and his head was hanging. Temporary tents lined the main path, set up to house the wounded and the dead. Valbar picked his way through the crowd of people, following Nathaniel as the medics took him inside one of these tents. They reemerged just as Valbar reached it, and though their eyes met his as they passed, there was no recognition there. The young woman held the tent flap open for them to enter, but then followed after her companion, quiet as a ghost.

Leon fell away from Valbar once they were inside. He spotted Nathaniel immediately among the bodies and wordlessly staggered over to him, crumbling beside him without a sound.

Valbar watched from the entrance, at a loss.

He was about to speak when Leon did so first.

“What do I do now?” he wavered.

Valbar opened his mouth, but closed it again quickly. Leon caressed Nathaniel’s cheek with one hand and tangled the other in his hair. Though he was the only other living person in the room, Valbar got the distinct feeling that Leon was not talking to him.

Valbar sighed and moved to kneel beside him. Leon did not look up.

“Kid,” Valbar said. “You have to get some rest. We all do. I gotta go check on everyone else, and I don’t feel right leaving you here.”

“Don’t bother.” Leon’s voice was almost completely flat, lacking all the energy from an hour before. “You don’t know him. You don’t know me. You don’t care.”

“I may not know either of you well.” Valbar frowned. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. We lost enough lives today, and I won’t risk losing even one more now the fighting’s done.”

Leon ignored him. He went on stroking Nathaniel’s cheek, brushing his hair away from his – now mercifully closed – eyes. It was as though Nathaniel had merely fallen asleep, and Leon was watching over him. When the sun came up, perhaps Nathaniel would rise with it, and return to training and heckling his fellow soldiers with all the light he’d always brought. In the dark like this, Nathaniel’s wound could have been a shadow.

Valbar shivered.

“In any case,” he continued. “I’m gonna be up and around, and I’m gonna check back up on you. I’m gonna take a walk around camp to see if anyone needs help, but I’ll be back.”

He waited for Leon to say something – for Leon to give any indication that he had heard him – but he didn’t.

With a deep sense of unease, Valbar stood and walked out of the tent.

He hoped with all he had that Leon would make it to morning.


	2. Chapter Two

VC 396

Leon could hardly remember a time when he wasn’t in love with Nathaniel. The two of them had been together since they were children. Leon had been a frequent target for bullying as a child, primarily due to his small stature and feminine features. The fact that, even when he was young, he had kept his hair long, did not help matters. To top it all off, he had been shy – a trait he thoroughly grew out of by the time he reached adulthood, but not without great difficulty.

On one occasion, when Leon was about six years old, he’d been cornered by a group of neighborhood children, who tugged at his hair and laughed at him when he shouted at them to stop. Angry tears stung his eyes, which only made them laugh harder. There were several of them, and they were all bigger than he was. He didn’t have a chance of escaping.

But then, seemingly out of nowhere, a boy larger than any of the ones picking on him appeared. He pushed his way into the circle they had formed around Leon and stood protectively in front of him, hands curled to fists and planted firmly on his hips. His shoulders thrown back and his head held high, he addressed the other children.

“Leave him alone,” he stated. “Picking on people smaller than you makes you the biggest coward there is.”

Leon looked up at the back of this boy’s head in awe.

There was some grumbled protest from the other children, but eventually, with much scuffing of boots in dirt and hands stuffed in pockets, the crowd dispersed.

The boy stood in front of Leon as they left, moving only to cross his arms. Eventually, the two of them were alone in the alley, and the boy turned around.

There was a bruise on his face and little scrapes on his arms and hands – a rough-and-tumble child. His hair had been even paler blue then, nearly white. He gave Leon a big smile.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Dumbstruck, Leon nodded. There were still tears in his eyes and he scrubbed them angrily away as they fell unbidden down his cheeks.

“They hurt you?” the boy asked, ducking a little closer. “Those kids are mean.”

Leon shook his head and stepped back, pressing himself to the alley wall.

“Don’t cry, okay? They aren’t gonna get you anymore.”

Leon eyed the boy carefully. He was easily four or five inches taller than Leon, and seemed a couple years older at least. Leon had learned to fear children larger than him. Few of them were kind.

The boy put his hand out. It was dirty.

“I’m Nathaniel,” the boy said. “What’s your name?”

Leon stared at his hand. Cautiously, slowly, he reached out and took it.

Nathaniel clasped Leon’s hand in both of his own and shook enthusiastically, beaming. His hands were much warmer than Leon’s.

“Leon,” Leon mumbled, lowering his eyes. They still threatened tears.

“Leon?” Nathaniel repeated.

“Mhm.”

“That’s a really nice name. I like it.”

“Yours is nice too.”

Nathaniel released his hand and stood back, still smiling wide.

“Leon!” he said. “If those kids bother you again, I’ll swoop in and save you again.”

Leon couldn’t help but smile at that, and giggle a bit as Nathaniel struck a heroic pose.

“I’ll be your shield against all danger!” Nathaniel went on. He grabbed Leon’s hand again. “And to start, I’ll take you back to your house. Lead the way!”

Drying the last of his tears on his sleeve, Leon led Nathaniel out of the alley.

After that, Leon toddled after him wherever he went – including, many years later, to war.

\- - -

Nathaniel had always wanted to be a knight, and Leon had always dreaded the day he would leave to follow that dream. Isolated as they were in their little corner of Zofia, young as they were, the first rumblings of unpleasantness with Rigel reached them. As they grew up, side by side, Nathaniel began training with a lance and armor under the tutelage of his father, who had once been a soldier. Leon’s slight build did not lend itself to heavy combat, so he could only sit and watch these training sessions, worrying.

On his own time, though, he hunted to feed his family, and as a result became adept with the bow. He demonstrated his ability to Nathaniel when they were teenagers, and Nathaniel had been quite impressed. Quietly, Leon felt even prouder of himself.

“Maybe I’ll follow you when you go off to fight,” he’d half-joked.

Nathaniel’s brow had furrowed.

“Well, no matter how you look at it,” he said, “You’re just too small for the front lines. You’d get crushed.”

Leon scowled at him, eyes narrowed.

“But you’d still be a great fighter,” Nathaniel scrambled to add. “I’d be honored to have you at my back. It couldn’t be safer with anyone else.”

He blushed a little. Leon would remember it well.

Nathaniel had never spent much time planning his departure. It was always ambiguously in the future, somehow never getting any closer. Zofia was in peacetime, albeit uneasily, and had been all their young lives. There wasn’t much call for soldiers, and in any case, their hometown was comfortable and their lives easy. It was a small town, away from the troubles of war and close to a busy port. The reality of battle was never truly impressed upon them. They spoke broadly of marching off to war and returning heroes, but never earnestly moved in that direction. They trained, they conditioned, they told their tall tales, but not to any real end.

Until the last winter – that long, cold winter – when Nathaniel’s parents had both fallen ill.

Many people in their town did. Leon and his parents were, miraculously, spared, as was Nathaniel himself. They all worked together to help; Leon would hunt for both families, his parents would cook twice as much food. Leon ran this food over to Nathaniel’s house as fast as he could so it wouldn’t cool too much before he reached them. Once there, he sat at Nathaniel’s side as he helped his parents eat, and stayed to make sure Nathaniel ate something as well.

Though Nathaniel was not sick, and never became sick, Leon worried as he watched Nathaniel grow thinner and paler with each passing day. He lost sleep at night, floated about his days with dark circles under his eyes and hair disheveled.

Leon refused to leave at night until Nathaniel ate something. At least a spoonful. A few bites. Anything at all. Nathaniel complied just to appease him; he frequently said he did not feel hungry. But whatever the reason, he was eating; it was more than could be said for his parents.

Leon arrived at Nathaniel’s home one especially cold morning, bundled against the icy wind, holding a pot of soup tight against him. It was almost hot enough to burn, but he welcomed it for now.

He pushed open the door – Nathaniel was not in the habit of locking it anymore – and closed it behind him as quickly as he could. Once inside, he squinted around the dim room.

Nathaniel wasn’t in here. Not unexpected; it was early, and Nathaniel’s sleep was erratic at best by now. Leon set the soup down on the kitchen counter, unwrapped his scarf, and walked towards the door to Nathaniel’s room.

It was slightly ajar. Leon poked his head through, but Nathaniel didn’t seem to be in his bed. Frowning, Leon withdrew. This house was small; only Nathaniel’s parents’ room remained.

With a sudden feeling of unease, Leon crept down the hall to their bedroom.

The door was shut. Perhaps he had awoken early and gone to check on them.

Leon knocked. There was no reply.

“Nathaniel?” he called gently through the door. “Are you in there?”

Still nothing. Heart in his throat, Leon turned the knob.

Nathaniel was standing in the middle of the room, at the foot of his parents’ bed, with his back to Leon. He did not move as Leon entered. He did not so much as turn his head.

The fireplace, which usually kept the room warm, was empty but for a few embers. An unhealthy chill had permeated the place as if it had never been warm.

“Nathaniel?” Leon’s voice was thin in the cold.

Nathaniel still did not turn around. He bowed his head. His hands began to shiver.

Leon shut the door behind him as quietly as he could, not looking away from Nathaniel, refusing to look beyond him at his parents’ bed.

The door clicked shut.

Nathaniel shuddered.

“Leon,” he wavered.

Leon’s heart sank.

He rushed forward and threw his arms around Nathaniel, catching him just as he fell apart, holding tight.

Nathaniel’s knees shook as if on the verge of giving out. Leon moved in front of him, stood between him and his parents, as if he could prevent that reality from reaching him. He held him, stroked his hair, blinked back his own tears as Nathaniel quaked against him.

It felt like hours that they stood there, in that frozen room. Nathaniel’s cries were silent, but Leon could hear them clear as day.

Eventually, eventually, Nathaniel ran out of tears. He held Leon in return, so tight it almost hurt. Leon closed his eyes and listened to him fight for air.

Once his breathing was steady, Leon held him at arm’s length and waited, wordless.

His eyes were red and unfocused. His mouth hung slightly open.

Leon brushed his tears away and silently led him out of the room. He followed like a ghost. Leon set him down at the kitchen table, placed a bowl of soup in front of him, and waited for him to talk. And talk he did, after a few spoonfuls of now-cooling soup and a sip or two of tea.

Nathaniel’s parents had passed during the night sometime, he said. He couldn’t be sure when. They had told him to get some sleep, and when he woke up, they were gone. Within moments of each other, most likely; he hadn’t slept long.

He stared blankly down at his food as he spoke, as if he had forgotten what he was supposed to do with it.

The rest of that day was a blur of solemn movement through the house. Leon retrieved his parents, who in turn brought along several other adults to help put things in order. Leon and Nathaniel were very much on the outside of this activity. Nathaniel was too listless to do much more than nod or shake his head when asked a direct question. Leon looked after him, staying by his side through all of it.

Nathaniel’s parents were moved from their bed, to be buried the following day. Several neighbors brought gifts of food, which gradually filled all counter space in the kitchen. As the day wore on, people began to leave them. Leon’s parents were the last of these. Nathaniel didn’t want to leave his home, and Leon didn’t want to leave him. After telling their son in no uncertain terms to come and get them if he needed any help, Leon’s parents departed and the two of them were alone in the dark house again.

Leon moved Nathaniel to the kitchen table again, and once more set food down before him.

“You haven’t eaten since this morning,” Leon asked, “have you?”

He already knew the answer. Nathaniel shook his head without a word.

“Eat.” Leon tapped the table. “You need it.”

Leon ached, looking at him. Normally so driven, so bright – normally supporting Leon – Nathaniel now looked lost, dimmed, diminished. He pushed food around on his plate absently, never actually bringing any to his lips.

His parents lay dead in the town doctor’s home. An almost sick feeling grew in the pit of Leon’s stomach.

“What do I do now?” Nathaniel croaked. “What am I supposed to do now?”

His hands were shaking.

Leon stood up and knelt beside his chair. Nathaniel’s eyes followed him but did not see him. Leon took one of his hands in both of his own.

“I don’t know,” Leon said. “I don’t know, Nathaniel, I…”

His mouth hung open, wordless, for a moment. He squeezed Nathaniel’s hand, stared into those bloodshot brown eyes.

He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to hold him and take away all the pain.

He squeezed his hand again and rested his head against his knee.

“But whatever it is you do,” he whispered. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m with you. I am at your side. Even if I have to drag you, you’re going to make it through this.”

Nathaniel shuddered. There was a moment of deep silence.

Nathaniel placed a hand on the top of Leon’s head. Leon closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” he breathed. “I… I’m gonna need you to, I think, Leon.”

“I’ll be here,” Leon promised. “I won’t go anywhere.”

Nathaniel’s hand left his head. Leon heard silverware scraping his plate.

\- - -

Leon made a habit of visiting Nathaniel every morning for the following months. He would cook for him if he hadn’t already done so himself, and then stay and talk a while, occasionally staying the night.

They buried Nathaniel’s parents in the town graveyard the day after they died. Nathaniel himself dug their graves, almost entirely unassisted. Leon had awoken that morning to find Nathaniel there, exhausted, too weak to pull himself out of the grave. He had slipped out during the night without waking Leon, much to his unease. The rest of the town had pitched in to haul him out and help finish the graves.

After a while, Nathaniel began, gradually, to return to himself. Sometimes Leon would arrive to find him already up and about, putting together a breakfast for both of them. Sometimes he would smile as he spoke, like he used to do. He even laughed. His eyes lost the hollow look. Color returned to his face.

One night in the spring, when Leon came over for dinner – which Nathaniel cooked, unassisted – they stayed up so late talking and laughing that began to rise before they slept. Leon was so glad to have him back, so happy to see his friend well, that he was taken completely by surprise when he noticed that dim glow on the horizon.

“Oh, dear,” he said, struggling to catch his breath. “It’s late, isn’t it?”

“Or early,” Nathaniel yawned.

Leon attempted to stand up from his chair, but his exhaustion made him dizzy and he stumbled. Nathaniel caught him by the arm, smiling sleepily.

“I should probably get home,” Leon said.

Nathaniel didn’t let go of his arm. Leon looked down at him, and found his eyes downcast.

“Leon,” he began after a moment.

“Yes?”

“Would you… want to stay the night? What’s left of it.”

Nathaniel peered up at him, one eye closed as if preparing for rejection, uncharacteristically cautious. Leon’s heart fluttered a little. Leon had stayed the night with him many times in the past months, without ever being invited. Something about this was… different.

“Sure,” he smiled. “Gladly. Why so shy, old friend?”

Nathaniel shrugged instead of replying, and smiled at him again. The two of them cleaned up the kitchen, yawning and quietly laughing at each other, and then Leon followed Nathaniel into his bedroom.

Leon had been here many times. He had slept here many times, beside Nathaniel’s bed as he slept fitfully on it, when he night was especially cold and he didn’t want to be alone. But tonight, that something-different hovered in the air, putting butterflies in Leon’s stomach, making his hands feel a little cold.

Nathaniel paused just inside the room and gestured at the small, unmade bed tucked into one corner.

“I’ll take the floor,” he mumbled. “You get comfortable.”

“Nah,” Leon said. He brushed past Nathaniel and sat down on the bed. “I won’t deprive you of your bed.”

There was a pause. Leon closed his eyes, flopped onto his back, and tucked himself close to the wall.

“C’mon, Nathaniel,” he said. “It’s cold.”

Leon opened his eyes just in time to watch Nathaniel settle into the bed beside him. He smiled, their faces mere inches apart.

Nathaniel shifted slightly, touching their foreheads together. He rested one hand on the side of Leon’s face, tangling his fingers in his hair.

Leon shivered in spite of himself. Nathaniel always ran a little warm.

“Thank you, Leon,” Nathaniel murmured to him. “For everything.”

Leon pressed himself closer, shut his eyes, and hugged Nathaniel around the waist.

“It’s no trouble, old friend.”

\- - -

When Leon woke up the following morning – only a few hours later – Nathaniel was gone and the bed was cold. Leon yawned, sat up, stretched, and blinked groggily in the morning light.

He could hear movement in the kitchen. He smiled to himself and slid out of bed.

Nathaniel was moving around the room preparing breakfast. Leon didn’t say anything at first – only leaned in the doorway and watched him a while.

But then he noticed the rucksack sitting on one of the chairs, top flap closed, clearly stuffed full.

“Going somewhere?” Leon asked, straightening up.

Nathaniel looked over his shoulder so fast he nearly knocked over the jug on the counter beside him.

“Leon,” he said breathlessly, steadying the jug and turning to face him. “I woke you up.”

He wasn’t quite looking Leon in the eye. Leon stared right back, and tilted his head slightly. He didn’t need to repeat himself, or ask anything else.

“Right,” Nathaniel said after a moment. He bowed his head. “I’ve… been putting this off. I’m stupid.”

Leon waited. Nathaniel sheepishly ran a hand through his pale blue hair, pushing it back from his face. It was getting long. This was usually around the time when he asked Leon to cut it for him.

“I’m enlisting,” Nathaniel said, all too simply. He smiled uneasily – almost wincing up at Leon.

Leon stared at him. His stomach twisted.

“Sudden,” he said after a lengthy pause.  
“Not really,” Nathaniel said. “I’ve… always planned on it. I’ve planned on today for a while now, I just… couldn’t get the nerve to tell you. I’m sorry.”

Leon shivered, wrapped his arms tight around himself. “Why now?” he managed.

Nathaniel shrugged. “Springtime. The weather’s warming up. It’s the best time to travel, y’know.”

He let his hair fall forward. It half-hid his face, catching a little morning light from the window. He leaned back against the counter.

“My parents didn’t want me to go,” he sighed, “and… I hate to go against their wishes, especially now, but… Leon, things are getting tense with Rigel. We all know it. Someone needs to get out there and defend us. I don’t have anything holding me to this place anymore.”

“What about me?”

It sprang forth before Leon could stop it. Nathaniel looked up at him, and the expression on his face was pained. Leon bit his lips together. His eyes stung.

“I’m really sorry,” Nathaniel said. “Lee, really, I…”

Leon waved a hand dismissively, shaking his head.

“Leon…”

Nathaniel moved towards him, arms outstretched, but Leon shrugged him off, took a step back, looked up at him with fire in his eyes.

“You’re not leaving me here,” he growled.

“Leon –”

“You’re not leaving without me.”

Nathaniel blinked. “What?” he breathed.

Leon squared his shoulders, fixing Nathaniel with a determined gaze.

“I’m going with you,” he stated.

Nathaniel’s eyes widened. “No,” he said. “No, Lee, listen –”

“I’m not going to just sit here and wait to hear that you’ve died,” Leon snapped. “I’m not going to let you go off alone.”

“Please.”

“You can’t stop me. You know you can’t.”

Nathaniel’s mouth snapped closed. Leon stepped around him into the kitchen.

“I’m good with a bow,” he said. “I can watch your back.”

Nathaniel sighed. After a moment, a quiet laugh followed.

“I really won’t be able to talk you out of this, will I?” he murmured.

“Not a chance in hell,” Leon replied.

He heard Nathaniel approach him. His arms wrapped around him from behind and this time Leon did not pull away. He rested a hand on Nathaniel’s.

“You’re so stubborn.” Nathaniel’s breath was warm on Leon’s hair.

“That’s what’s so great about me,” Leon said lightly, closing his eyes. “That’s why you love me.”

Nathaniel held him a little tighter.

“For sure,” he said. “For sure.”

Leon allowed himself to be held, and breathed him in.

\- - -

Nathaniel grew cold underneath Leon. It didn’t seem to matter how close Leon held him; he didn’t warm up at all.

“Your hands are like ice,” Leon murmured, linking their fingers together.

Nathaniel didn’t react. That was all right. It had been a hard fight. Being at the front lines, Nathaniel had seen a great deal of fighting. No wonder he slept so soundly.

Leon rested his head on Nathaniel’s chest and closed his eyes. It was unseasonably cold tonight, and drafty in this tent. It reminded Leon of their journey to this outpost, only a few months ago. He and Nathaniel had spent many nights huddled together close like this. They’d still been dancing around things back then, neither of them admitting they were enjoying more than the warmth.

Leon’s eyes stung.

He brought their clasped hands to his lips and pressed them there. The tears welled up all at once.

“Please,” he croaked. “_Please._”

There was a hand on his shoulder. He tried to shrug it off, but it stayed.

“Leon,” a gravelly voice whispered. “Hey. You awake?”

He didn’t listen. He shifted closer to Nathaniel.

“No – come on, now –”

Two hands now – large ones, and stronger than Leon in this moment – grabbed him under the arms. He opened his mouth to protest, but had no words.

“There you go,” the voice grunted once Leon was sitting up. “There you are, Leon.”

Leon stared down at Nathaniel. Not asleep. He had to be – but he wasn’t.

He wasn’t.

“Can you walk?” the voice asked now.

“...Yes,” Leon said. It hurt to speak. His throat was raw.

“All right. I’m gonna have you stand up, okay?”

Leon closed his eyes and did not move. The man grunted, his hands returned, and Leon found himself being pulled to his feet. He wobbled immediately. His legs had lost all of their strength.

But those hands caught him again. Steadied him.

“I’m gonna walk you back to the barracks,” the voice continued. “You need to rest.”

“Nathaniel –”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“What are they going to do with him?”

A deep sigh. “Send him home, I suppose.”

“He hasn’t any family.” Leon’s eyes burned. “There’s nobody waiting for him.”

“Then… I suppose we’ll have to think about it later. For now, you need to think of yourself.”

“How can I?” Leon snapped. He tugged himself away from the grip of those hands and whirled on their owner. “How can I think of myself when he’s _dead_?”

The man from earlier winced down at him. Out of his armor, it took Leon a moment to recognize him. Broad-shouldered, brown-haired, built strong. He didn’t know his name.

The man lowered his eyes.

“I know it sounds impossible,” he said gruffly. “But even when you lose someone important to you, you have to keep on going. You have to be strong.”

He paused and looked Leon in the eye again before he continued.

“I know I didn’t know him well,” he said. “But I do know Nathaniel wouldn’t want you to get dragged down by his death.”

Leon scoffed.

“He cared about you. I could see that. He cared about you deep.”

Leon felt fury boiling in his chest. But none of it reached the surface.

Instead, tears stopped his voice.

“Aw, kid…”

He felt cold, oddly detached from himself. There was a hollow feeling throughout his body. He found himself falling, being caught by this stranger. He tried to pull away, tried to snarl at him for thinking he could help, but found that he couldn’t.

He was crying and there was nothing he could do to stop.

The stranger patted his back.

“I’m gonna walk you back now,” he said. “Lean on me if you have to. C’mon.”

Leon allowed himself to be led out of the tent. He couldn’t see through his tears, could barely breathe around the pain, but this stranger didn’t let him stumble, wouldn’t let him stop moving.

If Leon had been at all able, he would have told this man to leave him. Told him that there was no point, that he wouldn’t be going much farther anyway. That he shouldn’t bother.

He could hear people talking around him, but he couldn’t understand their words. The stranger leading him mumbled something in reply every now and then, but never stopped walking. Leon tottered along behind him, tear-blind.

The terrain leveled out. The air became warmer. Sounds seemed closer. A door squeaked close at hand. Finally, the stranger stopped.

“Hey,” he said, voice low. “Where are you staying?”

Leon looked up and did not know where he was. After a few moments of dazed observation, the hall around him became familiar again. He’d been here, in this very spot, only the night before. But he hadn’t been alone then. It was a very different hall now.

He stumbled towards the second doorway on the left, towards the room he and Nathaniel had shared with several of their fellow soldiers. He was vaguely aware that the stranger was following him still, but paid him no mind.

Leon moved down the line of bunks with great difficulty. If there were other soldiers in the room with him, if they spoke to him, he didn’t notice. All his focus had to go into dragging his feet forward, on toward the cot.

Nathaniel had spent that last night beside him. The blanket covering the cot was still disheveled, left just the way it had been when they had gotten up this morning.

Just this morning.

Leon sank down onto his side of the cot and stared blankly at the place where Nathaniel’s head had rested.

There was a creak of springs as the stranger sat down on the bed beside theirs. He sighed deeply. Leon turned his head toward him but did not take his eyes away from the bed.

“Your name is Leon,” the stranger said. “Right?”

Leon nodded once.

“Leon. My name is Valbar.”

Leon ran his hands over the rough fabric of the sheets. A strand of blue hair looped around one of his fingers.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now,” Valbar said. “Do you have anyone back home? Anybody waiting?”

Leon tugged the blue hair free and wrapped it around his finger.

“Leon,” Valbar prompted.

Leon closed his eyes.

“My parents,” he croaked.

“Parents? That’s good. You hear from them? You write each other at all?”

“…Sometimes.”

_I know what you’re doing. Leave me alone. You’re wasting your time._

“What about friends?” Valbar persisted.

Leon clenched his jaw.

“No,” he mumbled. “Nobody.”

Valbar sighed.

“We need you strong,” he said. “We need you ready for whatever happens while we’re all here.”

Leon felt a hand on his knee. He opened his eyes and found Valbar watching him closely.

He was prepared to recoil from pity. But what he saw in those eyes was different. There was a warmth there – a warmth and sorrow that took him slightly off-guard. He fixed his eyes on the floor again, unnerved.

“I’m gonna be checking up on you, then,” Valbar said. “I better see you in the mess hall, first thing tomorrow.”

Leon merely stared. There was something deeply sincere in his voice. Leon shrugged it off, shoved it away.

“You need anything, you need someone to talk to,” Valbar went on, “You come find me. I mean that.”

Leon shifted his knee away. Valbar pulled his hand back.

“Why do you care?” Leon rasped.

Valbar blinked. He seemed taken aback.

“Who wouldn’t?” he asked. “You lost someone you cared about. And… you’re alone out here. This isn’t a good place to be alone.”

Leon looked away from him again.

“Get some rest,” Valbar said. The bed creaked as he got to his feet. One large hand clapped Leon on the shoulder. “Bright and early in the dining hall. I’ll be looking for ya.”

Leon heard him walk back down the long room and close the door behind him. Leon did not watch him leave.

This man Valbar certainly meant well enough. But what did that matter?

Leon fell back onto the cot and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes burned, but this time with a lack of tears. There was a cold weight in his lungs.

Just last night Nathaniel had been beside him in this very bed. He had looped his arm around Leon’s waist, pulled him close, rested his cheek against Leon’s back, made shivers run down his spine.

Thinking of it choked Leon now.

He felt very far away from himself as the night wore ceaselessly on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo everybody chapter two has arrived
> 
> gonna strive to have these up once a week from here on out until they're gone. you can see i've said this fic will be nine parts long, but in reality it will be Quite a few more than that; that's just how many i have written at this point. hope you enjoy ~
> 
> if you wanna keep up with this fic, i'm on twitter @static-begone. if tumblr is more your speed, i'm on there as i-homeostasis. 
> 
> have a lovely day. thank you for reading ♥


	3. Chapter Three

VC 396

Leon’s eyes were slow to open when they finally did. He didn’t remember closing them, didn’t feel as though he had slept at all.

Light streamed in through the window overhead, landing on the floor beside him. Nathaniel’s side of the bed was empty and cold.

If the weight had lifted as he slept, it came back in full force now. He closed his eyes again and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face. It was hard to even move his limbs. Raising his head, dragging himself out of bed – unfathomable. Time was heavy and Nathaniel was dead.

Dead. It rang hollow through his chest.

It hurt.

Leon was only vaguely aware of a door swinging open somewhere. Footsteps, lowered voices. Then a hand on his shoulder. Large, but gentle. It shook him. He ignored it.

“Leon,” came Valbar’s voice. “Hey. Wake up.”

That man from yesterday. Leon gritted his teeth. Why wouldn’t he leave him alone?

Valbar sighed. “I’m not gonna leave ‘til you eat,” he said. “I brought you some food. Don’t let it go to waste.”

The very idea of food turned Leon’s stomach. He swallowed hard.

“Come on. While it’s still warm. Don’t make me wait you out. I will, ya know.”

Leon believed him.

If it would make him go away, maybe he could force something down.

With what little strength he had, Leon managed to push himself up. He swung his legs off the cot and Valbar sat down across from him again.

“There y’are,” he said. “Eat up.”

With that, he shoved a bowl into Leon’s hands. Leon looked down at it distastefully. It was standard fare. Porridge and meat of some kind. Leon could barely stomach it at the best of times, and these were not those.

Mechanically, he scooped some of the gluey paste into the spoon Valbar handed him. He held it to his mouth but couldn’t seem to open it.

“How are you feeling?” Valbar asked.

Leon shoved the porridge into his mouth. He clamped his jaw shut, forced himself to swallow, and took some more. Anything to avoid speaking.

“I suppose that’s a foolish question,” Valbar said quietly. “But you’re awake. You’re eating. That counts for something, I’d say.”

The porridge felt like glue in Leon’s throat. The food in the dining hall was never served hot, and this serving had cooled significantly on its way to him. Leon forced it down and coughed.

When he opened his eyes, he found Valbar holding a mug out to him.

“Coffee,” he said. “Hope that’s all right.”

Leon took the mug and sipped from it slowly. He could feel Valbar’s eyes on him and was determined not to look grateful.

“There’s something I gotta talk to you about,” Valbar said once Leon had set the mug on the end table. His voice was suddenly grave, lower than it had been. Leon chanced a glance at him and found him leaned forward, hands clasped, head bowed.

“I gotta ask you something,” Valbar went on. “It’s not… an easy thing to talk about, but… it’s what has to be done right now. Can’t put it off.”

Valbar looked up and caught Leon’s eye before he could look away. He was frowning slightly, face set in determination.

“Leon,” he said. “I need to ask you what we should do with Nathaniel.”

What little food Leon had managed to eat churned in his stomach. Ears suddenly ringing, he looked sharply away from Valbar.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Really, Leon, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t be asking you if there was anyone else I could ask.”

“Leave me alone,” Leon wavered. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t come back here.”

The bowl of food in his lap slid toward his knee. Valbar caught it before it could fall and set it down on the table, then moved to kneel in front of Leon. Leon could feel him trying to catch his eye and refused to let him have the satisfaction.

“You mentioned he didn’t have any family. Anybody waiting at home,” Valbar said. “So it comes to you.

“There’s a military graveyard nearby. We can have him buried there, or else…”

Valbar took another deep breath before continuing.

“…We’re gonna be setting up pyres this evening, for those who wanted to be sent home.”

Leon closed his eyes against the thought.

“I’ll leave it to you to decide. You can take your time. Just let me know by tonight.”

With that, Valbar stood up and began to walk away.

“He wanted to be with his parents.” Leon’s voice sounded like it was coming from someone else. He had not meant to speak.

Valbar stopped. Leon gripped the hem of his tunic and screwed his eyes closed.

“His parents died last winter,” he went on, further spiting himself. “They were buried in our hometown. He wanted to be with them.”

A pause.

“All right,” Valbar murmured. “I’ll let them know.”

He continued on his way, footsteps growing softer until they were no longer audible.

Leon’s face crumpled. He hid it in his hands and curled in on himself, once again sobbing without restraint.

\- - -

Leon did not get out of his cot for the rest of the day. He alternated between sleeping and staring listlessly ahead of him, waiting for time to pass. Valbar must have stopped by again at one point or another, as the bowl he had brought in the morning was replaced with another plate of food. Leon didn’t eat it. He couldn’t imagine doing so.

He didn’t need it, anyway.

He wouldn’t be spending much more time here.

The sun set slowly. Leon watched the light from the window travel along the stone floor until the angle was too low and it disappeared entirely. He watched the room grow steadily cooler.

The door opened again. Footsteps again. Leon closed his eyes.

“Leon,” Valbar’s voice called out. “Hey. We’re… getting things ready out there.”

Perhaps if Leon could convince him he was asleep, he would go away.

Valbar shook his shoulder. There was no pretending. Leon moved his head just enough to let Valbar know he was awake, that he could stop.

“I… suppose you don’t have to come along,” Valbar said. His voice was hoarse but gentle. The voice of a kind commander. “If it’s too much, you don’t have to. I just thought you might want to… be there.”

Leon opened his eyes.

“You’re going to burn him,” he said flatly.

Valbar sighed.

“You want me to watch.”

“Some people want to be there for this. I understand if you don’t.”

Valbar sat down on the neighboring bed again. Only now did Leon think to wonder what had happened to its owner.

“Take your time,” he murmured.

When Leon closed his eyes all he could see was Nathaniel’s smile. His laugh still rang in his ears. The words they whispered to each other at night clung to his heart.

Nathaniel was lying, waiting, on top of a pyre outside. He would never move again. He would never open his eyes again, would never squint in bright morning light as Leon watched him wake up.

This was Leon’s last chance to see him. Tomorrow, he would be gone.

Raising himself off the bed was the hardest thing he’d ever done. His arms trembled under his weight. He felt suddenly dizzy as he sat all the way up, and wobbled in spite of himself.

“Do you want help?” Valbar asked quietly.

Leon’s first instinct was to snap that he was fine. That he didn’t need any help. That he could walk on his own. But when he tried to stand up from the bed, he stumbled and nearly fell as his legs threatened to fold beneath him.

Valbar caught him by one arm. Steadied him.

“Come on,” he whispered. “Let’s get ya out there.”

\- - -

Leon stood before the pyre, trying not to look at the bundle of cloth atop the pile of wood. It was not yet lit, but orange light of the setting sun made it almost seem so.

A gust of wind swept through him. He shivered, but made no move to warm himself.

Valbar had left. He had said something to Leon as he departed, but Leon hadn’t been listening. He was alone, now, at Nathaniel’s pyre. He only briefly wondered why; Nathaniel had made several friends during their time here. The reason they were not present occurred to him quickly, however, and he considered it no longer. There was a small sea of similar pyres around him. Their front lines had suffered the heaviest losses.

His eyes roved aimlessly over the stacked wood. He did not want to think of it burning. He still found himself half-hoping that Nathaniel might wake up.

Leon turned his head away and looked at the ground instead. It was cold out. He didn’t want to be here.

But then, the place he wanted to be was no longer reachable.

Leon crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

“Leon,” someone said, just behind him. He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Valbar again. Light flickered on the ground at Leon’s feet as he approached. When he looked up, he found that Valbar had a torch in one hand. He looked down at Leon with a solemn expression.

“You ready?” he asked gently.

Leon stared back at him. His eyes traveled to the flame Valbar held.

He closed them.

“Do it,” Leon rasped.

He heard Valbar step forward. He did not look over, but heard the hissing and crackling of flames taking hold before long. A thud as Valbar dropped the torch. Footsteps as he walked to stand beside Leon again.

Surely this man had lost friends yesterday as well. Surely he had lost more people than Leon had. What was he doing here?

Leon steeled himself and raised his head. He stared into the flames, watched them slowly make their way up the haphazard ladder of wood. Towards Nathaniel. Who, if he was going to wake up, would surely have done it by now.

“Hey, uh,” Valbar said. “Leon?”

Leon barely turned his head.

“I, uh… I grabbed something for you,” Valbar went on. His hand entered Leon’s field of vision, holding a small drawstring bag. “In case you didn’t want to come here. I figure… you would wanna have it.”

After a moment of blank staring, Leon clumsily reached out and took the bag. He tugged on the opening and looked inside.

A lock of pale blue hair rested, neatly tied with a piece of string, at the bottom.

Something wrenched at Leon’s guts. He choked.

His knees hit the ground hard. He crushed the little bag to his chest as he fought to breathe, as he collapsed in on himself. His heart felt torn in half.

He could hear himself screaming and was powerless to stop it.

A hand on his back. Someone speaking to him, but the roaring in his ears drowned out the words. The fire was so hot it hurt, so hot he felt about to burn along with Nathaniel. And he wanted to. He wanted to.

_Nathaniel._

The hand rubbed his back. He could hear his own strangled sobs as though from a long ways off. His entire being seemed to ring, the little lock of Nathaniel’s hair the only real thing in the world. He could barely breathe. Spots danced in his eyes.

“Hey. Breathe.”

That hand again. Large, but gentle. Warm against his back. The voice was quiet, but somehow it reached him – through the fire, through the cacophony of his own bloodstream pounding in his ears.

“Leon. Breathe.”

He managed it. One long, shuddering breath. He let it out. Another. A mechanical process, one that took all of his attention.

Still he clutched the lock of hair. The nails of the hand in which he held it dug into his palm.

Valbar patted him. Leon glanced over and saw that he was kneeling at his side. The flames burned higher.

Valbar frowned at him – a look of concern. It verged on pity. Any other time it would have set Leon off, but now… he was simply too exhausted. There wasn’t a point in getting angry. He didn’t have any fight left.

“Make sure you keep breathing,” Valbar said. “That’s all you need to do right now. You just need to keep fighting.”

Leon lacked the strength to stand again. He knelt there for hours as the flames grew, reached their peak, obscured Nathaniel completely – and eventually burned lower, lower, lower, until only embers and ashes were left and the dark of night began to move in.

And all that time, Valbar stayed. He did not leave Leon’s side.

Leon stopped crying somewhere along the line. He didn’t know when. But when the flames of Nathaniel’s pyre eventually dwindled out, his eyes were dry.

Only then did Valbar stand up. He walked over to the pyre and knelt beside it. When he turned around, Leon saw that he was holding a small metal box. This he shut and latched before handing it to Leon.

“I’ll entrust him to you,” Valbar murmured.

The box was warm. The ashes were still hot. Leon clung to them as if he wished to press them into his chest.

He couldn’t speak.

Valbar sighed and clapped Leon on the shoulder.

“Let’s get you back inside,” he said. “It’s cold out.”

Leon allowed himself to be led back inside the outpost, away from the fading flames of the fallen warriors. Food was handed to him at some point, and he took a bite or two, but the taste turned his stomach.

Once inside, Valbar led him to his place in the barracks again, stopping at the door. Leon moved to keep walking away from him, but Valbar didn’t let go of his arm. Leon stopped short and looked back to find him frowning again.

“Come and find me tomorrow morning,” he said. “If you need somebody to talk to. I’ll hear you.”

Leon turned away.

“I… hope I’m not talking out of turn here, but…” Valbar took a breath. “Nathaniel… would want you to keep fighting. To take care of yourself. Keep on… living, you know?”

Leon blinked. His heart seized.

“The last thing he wanted was for something to happen to you. Even I know that much. So if you need help, if it’s too much… I’ll help you, how I can. Okay?”

Leon closed his eyes and stalked away.

“Leave me alone,” he muttered.

\- - -

Valbar watched from the doorway as Leon staggered back to his cot. He sat down on it, set Nathaniel’s ashes and the lock of his hair on the table beside it, and laid down facing them.

It had been all Valbar could do to get him to eat a little before turning in. He didn’t think he’d be moving again any time soon.

Valbar sighed deeply and shut the door. He’d told Leon to come see him the following morning, but he didn’t think the chances were good; he wasn’t sure if he’d even heard him, lost as he’d looked over dinner.

Many of his soldiers had lost someone the previous day, and Valbar would do whatever he could to keep them on their feet. But Leon didn’t seem to have anyone at all. Nathaniel was so young, and had had so much hope in his eyes just two days ago. His first battle. The first of many, he had hoped.

Valbar had eaten dinner with him and Leon the night before the fighting. Leon hadn’t said much, but when he did speak it was with an easy smile and a sharp wit. It was clear, even to Valbar, that the two of them cared deeply for each other.

“This guy followed me out here,” Nathaniel had said, lightly tapping the top of Leon’s head. “Couldn’t shake him off.”

“Come on now,” Leon had retorted. “You wanted me to come. Don’t pretend.”

At one point during their meal, Leon had gotten up from the table for a moment. Nathaniel had watched him go for a while before turning back to Valbar and lowering his head conspiratorially, looking uncharacteristically serious.

“He’s only here because I am,” he said. “I was going to leave without telling him. I didn’t want him to come along. It’s not… safe here, you know?”

“Of course not,” Valbar frowned. “He can fight, can’t he?”

“He… can,” Nathaniel admitted. “He’s a very strong archer, really. One of the best hunters in our town, and he’s only gotten better as we’ve been here, but…”

He fell silent.

“Even the best can get hurt out here,” Valbar nodded. “You’re worried.”

“Hard not to be,” Nathaniel said. “I just wish… He’ll be up on the walls when we’re fighting. He’ll be away from _most_ of it, but… I wanna protect him from _all_ of it. It’s because of me he’s here, so I feel like I gotta make sure he stays alive out there.”

“We’ll all fight as hard as we can,” Valbar had assured him. “We’re all out here to protect each other, and the things we care about. That’s all we can do.”

That night seemed so long ago. A different lifetime.

Valbar turned away from the barrack door and strode back towards his own room. Its own ranks were significantly diminished as well. Many of the people he’d roomed with the previous night now lay buried a few miles away. Those who remained spared little more than a glance or a halfhearted wave at him as he passed.

The Rigelian force was halted for now. In any case, both sides would need a few days to recuperate, at least. By then, with luck, reinforcements would have arrived, and they would be better prepared for whatever was to come.

It was hard not to think of the people they’d lost today. Valbar would mourn them, in his own way, but for the moment, his unit needed a leader – somebody to keep things moving when all anybody wanted to do was stop. Though they had won the day, it had been a demoralizing battle.

He crossed paths with two young women as he made his way along the hall. One clung to the other, shaking violently. The other stared bravely at an opposing wall, mouth pressed into a hard line. Foot soldiers. Valbar briefly stopped to check on them, but neither of them were especially talkative. He moved along. He had seen the two of them before, but he had a sinking feeling that there had once been three in their group.

Valbar sank down onto his cot and rested his head in his hands. His eyes itched with tiredness. He had been awake since before sunrise, rushing around the outpost, doing anything and everything he could to help people recover. That kid Leon had been one of the first on his mind when he’d woken up, and remained the first now.

He truly was alone here. Not a single other person had so much as approached him during the several hours they had spent side by side at Nathaniel’s pyre.

So young. Both of them.

Valbar sighed deeply and rubbed his temples.

He’d keep an eye on him. He’d check on him as often as he could. Leon was the type to lash out when he was hurt, he’d learned that much already – but for his sake, for Nathaniel’s, Valbar would persist anyway.

If Valbar was honest, he found the silent Leon he’d encountered today far worse than the one who spat fire. At least he’d had some fight in him before. Now he seemed like a ghost of a man, drifting through his day. Valbar had only gotten him to eat a few mouthfuls of food. It was better than nothing, but it wouldn’t do for long.

Valbar shook his head to clear it and laid down on his bed. It creaked underneath him.

The best he could do for now was to rest up and get ready to do it all again tomorrow.

\- - -

The following morning, as with the previous few, Leon did not meet himin the dining hall. Valbar went to fetch him again near noon. He didn’t appear to have slept at all. Valbar tried talking to him, tried to get him to say anything at all, but was unsuccessful. He brought him some food and refused to leave until he ate some, which worked, though not well. Leon ate only a few bites of food before setting the plate down with a finality that told Valbar in no uncertain terms that he should leave. He obliged, clearing the plate and promising to bring more later.

Valbar stopped off at Leon’s room several times throughout each day as time went on. Every time, he found him in the same position on his bed – lying on his side, back to the door, staring at the box of Nathaniel’s remains. Sometimes he held the bag with the lock of his hair in his hand, sometimes it rested beside the box. Sometimes he was sleeping. At no point did Valbar get him to say more than a word or two.

But at least he was alive.

If all Valbar could do was keep him alive, it would be enough. It chilled him deep to think of losing an ally behind friendly lines. Each time he went to check on Leon, it was with a certain level of apprehension, a certain fear of what he might find. But, thankfully, these fears were never realized.

Checking on Leon became part of his routine. He would rise with the sun, fetch a quick breakfast, then bring some food to Leon. Make his rounds, talk with his officers, check on his soldiers, fetch them anything if they needed it, and periodically return to the barracks to help the medics and to make sure Leon was still breathing. So passed several days, a week, then two.

The dining hall was subdued the next morning, more so than it had been the previous one. Nobody said more than a few words to Valbar as he made his way through the room, picked up a serving of food, and sat down at one end of a long table. He began to eat, keeping an eye on the door. But Leon didn’t show up. It was early yet, he told himself. It had been nearly noon when Valbar had gone to wake him the previous day. He couldn’t expect him to be suddenly up and about – not with the way he’d been when Valbar left him last night. If all else failed, Valbar would just go see him again. If bothering him every day was what it took to make sure he got back on his feet, Valbar would do it, and gladly.

Valbar was just finishing his food when someone sat down across from him. He looked up at them and was taken aback.

“Leon,” he exclaimed. “You’re up.”

He was paler than his hair and the circles under his eyes were darker than ever. Leon didn’t meet Valbar’s eyes as he nodded.

“Did you want to grab some food?” Valbar asked after a pause. “It’ll do you good.”

Leon shook his head. He laced his fingers together and placed his hands on the table. Valbar waited.

Leon frowned and closed his eyes.

“I thought about what you said.” His voice was nearly inaudible. “I… need to keep moving. Nathaniel wouldn’t want me to stop.”

He didn’t seem done speaking. Valbar watched him, waiting.

Leon took a deep breath before continuing.

“I can’t give up,” he said. “Even if it’s painful.”

Here he looked up at Valbar. His eyes were slightly bloodshot.

“Even if… it’s the last thing I want to do,” he finished. “He wouldn’t want me to give up.”

Valbar gave him a sad smile.

“You’re right,” he said. “I’m glad you’re here. Let me grab you something to eat.”

He quickly retrieved a plate of food. Leon was staring blankly at the tabletop when he returned, scratching at part of the wood grain with a fingernail. Valbar placed the plate in front of him and sat down again. Leon seemed to stare through the food.

_Get him talking._

“So,” Valbar began. “Where are you from?”

Leon picked up his fork and stirred the food around on his plate. “A little town near the coast,” he said. “Lorne.”

“I’ve been through there a few times,” Valbar said. “I’m from around there myself. Even tinier town, though. Right on the water.”

“Oh,” Leon intoned. “I see.”

“It’s a quiet little place. I like it that way. Lorne, that’s a nice place. You travel much?”

“No.”

“I guess you wouldn’t need to. Just about everything you need right there, huh?”

Leon didn’t reply this time. Valbar glanced around, searching for something else to talk about.

“You said you had family,” he recalled. “You mentioned parents. Anybody else waiting back home for you?”

Leon shook his head.

“You get along well with your parents?”

A nod.

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. You should write them when you get a moment. Tell them you’re okay.”

Leon closed his eyes. He dropped his fork and hid his face in his hands.

“Hey...” Valbar leaned closer, hovered a hand near Leon’s arm, uncertain. He looked so small like that. So young.

“How old are you, Leon?” Valbar asked. It hadn’t occurred to him to ask before.

Leon’s shoulders shook for a moment. He seemed to be struggling to breathe again.

“Eighteen,” he said eventually, his voice thin.

“Eighteen. Barely old enough for them to let you out here, huh?”

Valbar, himself twenty-five, had only enlisted two years before. He couldn’t imagine seeing battle so early in life. Even at twenty-three, the horrors he’d seen on the battlefield had been nearly too much to handle. For many recruited alongside him, they had been. Eighteen… almost a child. Might not even be done growing yet, and he’d already experienced a loss greater than Valbar could imagine.

Leon raised his head from his hands. His eyes and the tip of his nose were red.

“What about yourself?” he asked. “You have anyone… back home?”

He spoke haltingly. He was merely going through the motions of conversation. But that was enough. It was something, and more than he had done for the past couple of weeks.

Leon gestured at Valbar’s left hand, at the wedding band there. “You’re married,” he commented.

Valbar nodded, unable to conceal a smile. “I am,” he said. “Her name’s Victoria. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. We’ve got a son, too.”

“How old?”

“He’s six. His name’s Byron. Takes after his mother.”

Leon smiled slightly. His eyes weren’t quite in it.

“You miss them,” he said.

“Every day,” Valbar nodded.

They were quiet again. Leon returned his attention to his food. Valbar winced to himself; he had allowed the conversation to steer too close to Nathaniel.

What Leon said next, though, surprised him.

“I’m glad there are people like you around here,” he murmured.

“Like me?” Valbar asked, taken aback.

Leon shrugged. “People who will go out of their way to look out for somebody,” he said. “Even somebody they don’t know.”

Valbar sighed. “I’m just doin’ the right thing,” he said. “I’m not gonna just leave somebody by themselves through all this. We’re all just people. It’s hard out here.”

“All the same.” Leon lowered his eyes. He picked at the wood grain again. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. “I was awful to you.”

“What?”

“I screamed at you. You were only trying to help.”

“Oh – Leon, no.” Valbar waved a hand. “You were in a lot of pain. I was just a stranger butting in. I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through. I get you being angry.”

Leon’s brow furrowed. He didn’t seem to believe it.

“You’re alone. I wanted to give you somewhere to turn if you needed it.” Valbar ducked his head slightly, trying to catch Leon’s eye. He managed to do so; Leon looked back at him steadily.

“So keep that in mind, okay?” Valbar asked, giving him a smile. “It’s heavy. I know. I can’t imagine what that feeling is like, but I can guess it’s heavier than anything you’ve ever had to carry. Don’t hesitate to talk to me about it, if it’ll help.”

“It is heavier,” Leon breathed. “It’s… the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Getting out of bed today was…”

He half-laughed at himself, rubbing his eyes. “It was… quite an undertaking.”

“Well,” Valbar smiled. “I’m glad you undertook it.”

“I…” Leon paused. He seemed to gather himself to continue.

“Thank you,” he finished, crossing his arms. “I don’t… want to be alone.”

“You won’t need to worry about that one,” Valbar assured him. “You’ve seen how I’ve been. If you think I’d leave you alone like that, you’d have to be crazy.”

Leon laughed a little, a shadow of a smile flickering on his tired face.

He leaned over his plate and, wordlessly, began to eat. It was a slow process, but eventually Leon ate more than he had in previous days combined, nearly clearing the plate Valbar had piled high with food. When he was finished, he set down his fork and stood up from the table. He gave Valbar another thin smile.

“Thanks again, Valbar,” he said. “I’m… going to go back to sleep.”

Valbar nodded. “I’ll be around to bother you at some point or another. Rest up.”

Leon drifted away from the table and Valbar watched him go. A certain amount of the uneasiness he’d felt hovering over him ebbed.

“I think I’ve got him, Nathaniel,” he muttered to himself. “You rest easy. He’ll be all right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright that's chapter three done ~ hope you enjoy
> 
> i need to make some forward progress on this lol. we're still looking at quite a few more than 9 chapters, despite what the counter tells you at the moment. the issue is that i'm still not sure how many it will be.
> 
> thank you for reading, see you next week ~


	4. Chapter Four

VC 400

Leon held one arm up to shield his eyes against the setting sun. It was beginning to get cold, and the wind was doing them no favors. He settled back into his saddle and smiled easily at the landscape. The sea was nearly in sight, and he could almost smell the salt in the air. It made him feel nostalgic, but also a touch sad; he hadn’t been home since nearly three years ago, when he had returned to bury Nathaniel. As much as the seaside felt like home, it came with its own share of heartache.

“Leon!” Valbar called out from a ways behind him. Leon turned his horse around and waved at him as he approached, red-faced and breathless from running, up the trail.

“What took you so long?” Leon called out, unable to resist teasing him.

Valbar scowled at him. Leon laughed to himself and slid off his horse’s back, leading her back to Valbar, whose own horse was burdened enough that she couldn’t carry him for long without wearing out. Leon was much smaller and lighter, but generally walked alongside Valbar as they traveled. It ensured their horses would not fall victim to fatigue, and in any case, Leon liked being at Valbar’s side.

Leon fell in step with Valbar, grinning up at him. Valbar shook his head in an almost chastising manner, but smiled back.

“You oughta say close,” he said. “There’s bandits camped out in valleys like this.”

“Oh, please,” Leon scoffed. “Like simple bandits would be any match for the two of us.”

“The two of us, sure,” Valbar shot back, “But if you run off on your own and we get separated, they might just be able to take us.”

Leon feigned shock, placing a hand over his heart. “I didn’t know you worried so for me,” he said.

Valbar cuffed him on the shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he muttered.

He turned and squinted into the sunset. Leon watched him. It was hard not to admire the way his hair caught the light, the shadow cast by his jaw. He looked so noble there, illuminated by the deep orange light, gazing into the distance, and it made Leon so giddy that he almost laughed out loud.

But that happy feeling was quickly smothered by another. A heavy, guilty feeling. He gritted his teeth around it.

This feeling struck more and more frequently lately, whenever he looked at Valbar too long. The reason wasn’t a mystery to Leon. It was hard to look at Valbar and not think of Nathaniel. With how the two of them had started out, it was nearly impossible to separate them. Valbar had saved Leon’s life each and every day since Nathaniel had died. Once Leon had come to his senses, he’d been grateful for Valbar’s efforts, for his unwillingness to give up on him when he had so badly wanted to give up himself.

Thanks to Valbar, Leon had learned to want to live again.

It was hard not to fall in love with him after that.

It had not been an altogether welcome realization. In fact, it had immediately filled Leon with cold dread. The two of them had both been a little drunk, as had everyone around them; drinking to peaceful times after several months had passed without so much as a glimpse of Rigelian forces. It was a mundane moment. Nothing special. But seeing Valbar all red in the face, laughing with unrestrained joy – something about it enchanted Leon on the spot.

But it was a curse in equal part.

Not only was he betraying Nathaniel by falling for someone else; that someone else was already married. Married to a woman, father of a son.

He tried not to think about it. That was the easiest way; to bury it, to refuse to acknowledge it.

He shook his head and looked where Valbar was looking, out toward the horizon.

“One more day’s travel should get us there,” Valbar said. “I recognize these hills.”

Leon exaggerated a yawn. “Good,” he said. “I’m getting tired of walking.”

“Where’d all that energy go, huh?” Valbar muttered.

“_What_ energy,” he complained, staggering from side to side as they walked. “I’ve been dead on my feet all day. We’ve been walking for a _week_.”

“It’s been three days, Leon,” Valbar laughed. “But you’re right, anyway – we might as well make camp next chance we get.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Leon saw Valbar glance down at him.

“Thanks for comin’ out here with me,” he said. “I’m glad to have you along.”

Leon smiled lazily up at him. “Where you go, I go, right?” he said.

“So you’ve said,” Valbar smiled. “They’ll be glad to know you kept me safe.”

“Least I can do, really.”

The two of them stopped talking for a while, returning their attention to the road ahead.

With things relatively calm at their stretch of the border, soldiers from their outpost were taking it in turns to go on leave and return home. Valbar, being the selfless man he was, had made sure each of the soldiers under his command took time off before taking any himself – with the exception of Leon, who had insisted on waiting to go along with him.

“You don’t have to do that,” Valbar had said, frowning. “You haven’t been home in almost two years. You should visit.”

Leon had shrugged. “I’ve gone this long,” he said. “Besides, your home is near mine, yes? We can make a stop at both.”

Valbar had seemed uncertain, so Leon had pressed on. “I’d love to meet your family,” he said. “And I’m sure mine would love to meet you, as well.”

“Are you sure? It’ll be a few months before I can take this break.”

“You don’t want to travel alone, do you?” Leon had insisted. “I can watch your back.”

It hadn’t taken much, really. Valbar was very accommodating of the idea.

Leon had considered it for a long time. The idea of meeting Valbar’s family was an exciting one, certainly; but he wasn’t altogether sure how it would make him feel to be face-to-face with his wife. From the stories Valbar had told him, she was a fantastic person; beautiful, intelligent, strong. She made him happy. He read the letters she sent him with almost boyish excitement, and kept each and every one of them tucked away safe.

It was sick of him, certainly, but he couldn’t help but feel jealous. He had no right, he knew. It should be enough that Valbar was happy. It _did_ make Leon feel good to see him smile. And he was glad that Valbar had somebody who could make him do so.

He could set his own feelings aside for Valbar’s sake. He wasn’t a child. But nevertheless, it ached a little to know he could never make him smile that way.

The sun sank lower in the sky as they reached the beginnings of a forest. Once they were under cover of the trees, Valbar led his horse over to one and stopped to tie her reins to a low branch.

“Here look good?” he asked over his shoulder.

“As good as anything,” Leon said. He tied his own horse up a little further off the road, and set about unpacking their camping materials. Short as their journey had been, they had easily established a routine; Leon set up the tent while Valbar searched for firewood and water, and then they quickly ate their rations and turned in. They didn’t talk much as they set up camp; they didn’t have to. This alone made Leon smile. Valbar was far from a quiet man, and it made Leon feel uniquely privileged to see him in his less energetic moments.

Once Leon had begun to feel human again following Nathaniel’s death, he hadn’t left Valbar alone. Part of him would wonder, sometimes, whether he was imposing on him too much – whether Valbar could have really meant it when he had said Leon could talk to him anytime – but every time Leon approached him, Valbar would greet him with that wide, genuine smile, and a friendly wave.

The way he’d called out Leon’s name, each and every time, made his heart flutter.

Leon set up their tent between two trees. He’d frequently taken days-long hunting trips when he was younger, and had become very good at pitching a tent quickly.

Valbar returned before long, an armful of wood in tow. Leon leaned against a nearby tree and did his best not to stare too much as Valbar set up the campfire. It took Valbar only a moment or two to get the fire started, and then he sat back and stretched, holding his muscular arms high over his head. Leon sat down across from him and smiled.

Valbar caught his eye and chuckled. “What?” he asked.

Leon sighed. “Oh, nothing,” he said. “Just enjoying the view.”

Valbar laughed and pulled two packets of dried meat out of his pack. One of these he tossed to Leon, and the other he tore into hungrily.

They chatted only a little as they ate. It didn’t take long. They had brought plenty of food along with them when they left, but traveling food wasn’t especially appetizing. Valbar was never bothered by this, but Leon could only stomach a little bit. Tonight, as was sometimes the case, this was a talking point.

“You gotta eat more,” Valbar insisted when Leon set aside his portion. “You’re too thin.”

“You say that no matter how much I eat,” Leon retorted. “I eat what I need.”

Valbar shrugged and took a large bite of bread. “I suppose so,” he said. “It’s a habit.”

“Oh?”

“Y’know. Used to be like pulling teeth, getting you to eat.”

Leon lowered his eyes.

“Sorry,” Valbar said quickly. “I shouldn’t’a said anything.”

“It’s fine, old friend,” Leon said, waving the apology away. “You know I appreciate the concern.”

He leaned against a tree and turned his head toward the darkening sky, barely visible through the canopy of branches. He closed his eyes, listening to the crackling fire, and smiled to himself. It was warm here.

“What’s on your mind?” Valbar asked.

“Mine?” Leon said. “Nothing, really. Tired. Looking forward to the end of the road.”

“Right, yeah,” Valbar nodded. “I wrote ahead to tell them I was bringing you along. We’re only a day or so behind the letter, but it should get there before we do.”

“I’m excited to meet them. From all the stories I’ve heard, they sound like wonderful people.”

“They are.” Valbar’s voice softened the way it always did when his family came up. “I’ve missed them. Byron’s turning eleven soon. I’m glad I could get away in time to be there for that.”

Leon’s mind idly considered the idea of raising a child. He chased the thought away before it could progress any farther, before the guilt could crash in again.

“Eleven, huh,” Leon said. “He’s getting big.”

“Too big,” Valbar sighed. “I wish I coulda been around more. Seems like every time I see him, he’s shot up half a foot. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll forget me, I’m away so long.”

“Don’t worry yourself. You told me about the letters he writes. He admires you. He couldn’t forget.”  
“You’re right,” Valbar smiled. “Nothin’ to worry about.”

Leon heard him sigh again, deeper, slower this time. He chanced a look at him, and found his eyes closed, his features lit up gold in the firelight.

His heart reacted again. But he couldn’t look away.

Valbar may not have been what many would call “beautiful,” but that was the only word Leon had for the way he looked in that moment. In any moment, really.

Valbar shifted slightly and Leon looked into the fire instead. He drew his knees to his chest and closed his eyes.

Don’t.

“You about ready to turn in?” Valbar asked. “I’m beat.”

Leon hummed in agreement. He got to his feet and stretched. His legs would be sore tomorrow from all that walking.

Valbar began putting the fire out and Leon gathered their bedrolls from the horses’ saddlebags. These he spread out beneath the tent before flopping down on one of them, thoroughly tired. They had come a very long way today, and had farther to go tomorrow. The sun was only just set, the nighttime sounds of the forest only just beginning, but Leon could suddenly barely keep his eyes open.

The canvas of the tent rustled as Valbar came in. Leon listened to him settle down, then opened his eyes partway. In the dark, all he could see of him was his large silhouette against the canvas.

“’Night, Leon,” Valbar said.

“Goodnight,” Leon murmured back.

They’d spent two nights like this so far. It was impossible for Leon not to remember the days when he and Nathaniel had been like this – though closer together. Nathaniel had been slightly smaller than Valbar, but all the same, in the dark, they occupied a very similar space.

Leon felt the beginnings of a lump in his throat. He reached for his knapsack and pulled out the little drawstring bag with Nathaniel’s hair in it. He didn’t open it – he didn’t want to risk losing even a single strand of that hair – but held it close to his chest.

The pain was more muted now. It hurt less. And even that felt like a betrayal. If he was able to forget that pain – the pain that had held him down, prevented him from even getting out of bed some days, occupied him such that he could feel nothing else for months and months – could he really say that he loved Nathaniel? If he loved him, if he truly loved him, wouldn’t that pain stay with him until the day he died?

He tried to invoke it now. Tried to put himself back at the funeral pyre, on his knees in the mud, crying so hard he couldn’t breathe.

Nathaniel had been the world, hadn’t he? Hadn’t he been the light to which Leon guided? He’d left behind everything he’d ever known for his sake.

How could he even think of looking at another man when he’d once had someone like that? And a married man, at that. His stomach turned. He had nobody to blame but himself, and he knew it.

Valbar sighed deeply beside him and shook him back to reality. He quickly tucked the bag away and closed his eyes. He turned himself onto his side, facing away from Valbar’s dozing form.

He didn’t even know what he wanted. Not really.

Nothing could bring Nathaniel back – he knew that, of course. Valbar wasn’t Nathaniel. He was no replacement.

So why couldn’t he stop that feeling he got whenever Valbar looked at him? It was a safe feeling, a warm feeling. A _good_ one. It would be easier, surely, if he could let himself simply feel it. But it would be wrong.

It would be wrong.

Leon frowned hard, trying to drive these thoughts from his mind. He’d managed to sleep as well as ever during the last few nights on the road with Valbar, but the next day they would arrive in his hometown. Tomorrow, Leon would be face-to-face with his family. Tomorrow Leon would put on his laziest smile and cordially greet Victoria, the lovely woman of whom Valbar had told so many stories, and with such love in his voice that it hurt Leon to hear. The woman whose husband Leon found himself falling for. And she would smile genuinely back at him, because she had no idea.

He shook his head, rolled over onto his face, and covered his head with his arms. _Shut up,_ he berated himself. _Shut up and sleep._

Unsurprisingly, it took him some time to fall asleep that night.

\- - -

Nathaniel was standing before him, with his back facing him, his hair loose from its usual ponytail, rustling in the cool breeze. He looked out over a sea of rolling hills, with wind rippling the grasses. He was already dressed in simple leather armor. They were only a few days out from arriving at their outpost. Nathaniel rose early in the mornings back then; he’d liked to see the sun rise. Leon called out to him, a smile breaking over his face, and hurried to his side.

“Good morning,” Nathaniel said.

“Morning,” Leon replied, leaning against him, following his gaze over the landscape. “Sleep well?”

“Not especially,” Nathaniel admitted. “Couldn’t get to sleep.”

Leon made a sympathetic noise and lightly bumped him with his shoulder. “That’s a shame,” he said. “Hopefully you don’t lose your good looks to a lack of sleep.”

Nathaniel chuckled quietly and wrapped an arm around Leon’s waist.

“It wouldn’t make any difference to you, would it?”

Even through his clothes, Leon noticed Nathaniel’s hand was cold. He looked down at it. It seemed deathly pale.

His heart sank.

Nathaniel suddenly tottered, falling against him. Leon scrambled to catch him, to try and hold him up, but he was too heavy for Leon to support. Though Leon fought it, they fell. Leon managed to keep him from hitting the ground too hard, taking the brunt of the impact with his shoulder.

“Nathaniel,” he said sharply. “Are you -”

He stopped short when he met Nathaniel’s eyes.

Their warm brown was oddly clouded. They stood out against his hollowed, graying face.

There was blood caked at his throat. A trickle of it marred his cheek.

“No,” Leon wavered. “No, please…”

“Don’t go.” Nathaniel’s voice rattled. One failing hand reached up, brushed Leon’s hair away from his face, and rested against his cheek. “Don’t leave me, Leon, please.”

Leon smelled smoke. He looked up and saw that the hills around them were aflame. The fire was far away, but drawing closer at an impossible rate.

He looked back to Nathaniel, panicked, powerless.

Nathaniel clung to the front of his shirt. His eyes were wide with terror.

“Please,” he wavered.

\- - -

Leon woke to a hand shaking his shoulder. His eyes flew open. He was covered in cold sweat and his heart was racing; it was still dark. His hand flew to his shoulder, touched the hand there. Warm. Alive.

“Leon,” Valbar mumbled, half-asleep. “Hey.”

Leon found that his breath came in gasps. He clamped his mouth shut and tried to fight back the tears, to steady his breathing, but to no avail.

“Leon…”

Valbar shifted still closer to him, moving his hand to Leon’s chest. Valbar was large enough and Leon was small enough that he could nearly cover it with only one hand. Leon turned his head away, recoiled from the touch. Valbar didn’t notice.

“You were having a nightmare,” he said. “Sorry. You sounded scared.”

Leon couldn’t speak. There was too much in the way.

“Hey.” Valbar shook him a little. “Slow down. Breathe, okay?”

His hand moved in slow circles over Leon’s heart. Leon tried to focus only on the weight of it, not on the image of Nathaniel still imprinted on his mind’s eye, not on the word _please_ still echoing in his ears.

Leon choked.

“Leon…”

Leon clutched Valbar’s hand as hard as he could, pressed it to his chest and rolled over to face him. He was crying now, earnestly. It disgusted him, what he was doing.

But he couldn’t stop.

Valbar propped himself up on his free arm. Leon could feel the concern in his eyes.

“Talk to me,” he said simply.

Leon shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he wavered. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

“You don’t cry over nothing, Leon, c’mon.”

“Go back to sleep,” Leon insisted. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

“But you aren’t right now. Lemme help.”

Leon gritted his teeth as hard as he could. He forced the sobs back. His hands were still shaking – there wasn’t anything he could do about that.

After many, many attempts, Leon began to regain control of his breathing. He closed his eyes and focused on Valbar’s hand in his own. He was real. He was warm. He was alive. This was real. Nathaniel was gone. Nathaniel had already died.

In a way, sometimes, this was a comfort. Nathaniel’s death was no longer something to be feared. Nothing more could harm him from beyond the grave.

“You gonna make me guess?” Valbar asked sleepily.

Leon gave a single, breathy laugh. “It wouldn’t be a difficult guess,” he wavered.

Valbar’s arm relaxed and Leon let his hand go. He felt cold without it there.

“Nathaniel,” Valbar said.

Leon’s heart sank.

“Yes,” he replied. His voice felt thin.

Valbar didn’t say anything. He was waiting. Leon willed himself to keep talking. Over the course of a few minutes, he managed to muster the strength to describe the dream to him. When he was done, he felt newly and completely exhausted.

Valbar sighed. “I’m sorry, Leon. That’s terrible.”

He shifted closer to Leon again, and took hold of his arm. Leon closed his eyes.

“He told me not to leave him,” he said.

“You haven’t,” Valbar said firmly. “When you care for someone the way you cared for him, you can’t ever really leave ’em.”

“But…” Leon clamped his mouth shut before he could go any farther. Too close. It was too close.

“But what?”

One deep breath. Act like it’s nothing.

“Never mind,” he said, with an attempt at his usual light tone that he could feel going awry as he spoke. He rolled onto his other side, facing away from Valbar. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, Leon,” Valbar muttered. “I can tell something’s bothering you. C’mon.”

Leon’s throat felt tight.

“I… worry that…”

He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t speak these words. Not to him. Not after how Nathaniel had just appeared to him.

“Leon?”

“…What if there’s somebody else,” he wavered. “Someday… what if…”

“Oh,” Valbar intoned. “I getcha.”

Leon winced. He heard Valbar lie back down, heard him take a deep breath. He could almost see his thoughtful expression in the darkness.

“Well… Whoever that somebody else is,” Valbar said after a long, long moment. “He won’t ever replace Nathaniel, y’know?”

Tears welled in Leon’s eyes again. Though it was dark, he scrambled to brush them away regardless.

“It won’t change the fact that you really loved him, right? You’ll still love him. No matter how much you love someone else, it’ll always be a little different than how it was with him. You wouldn’t be replacing him.”

Leon’s heart was pounding. He almost felt like he was panicking, safe as he was here.

“Is there somebody you got your eye on? That what brought this up?”

Leon’s heart stopped completely and he gasped to himself. He took a deep breath in hopes of covering it up.

“Nobody,” he said quietly. “No.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“It’s been almost four years, Leon. It’s all right if there is.”

It took a focused effort to keep his voice steady as he spoke his next few words.

“There’s not,” he said, as firmly as he could. “Really.”

There was a silence. He could _feel_ that Valbar knew he was lying. His mind and heart raced.

“…All right,” Valbar finally said. “If you’re sure.”

Leon tried to relax. He forced a smile in the dark.

“I am, friend,” he said. “Thank you. I’m sorry about this.”

“Not to worry,” Valbar said gruffly. “I’m here to listen. If ya need an ear.”

Leon swallowed. He pressed his hands together to stop them shaking.

“I know.”

Valbar patted his shoulder once more, shaking Leon slightly.

“Sleep well, Leon,” Valbar said.

“And you.”

Leon listened to his breathing. It slowed, grew deeper, quieted, until Leon knew he was asleep.

His stomach was in knots. He felt like vomiting. The image of Nathaniel’s wide, dead eyes drifted back to him.

How foolish could one man be? How selfish?

Leon clung to himself, curled himself up tight, head almost touching his knees.

He did not even consider trying to fall asleep for the rest of the night.

\- - -

The sun rose eventually. Leon watched the light slowly draw its way into their tent, eyelids heavy but refusing to close. He listened to Valbar’s breathing, tried to match it with his own. He managed to steady himself after a while. His stomach settled.

When the sun had risen high enough that he was satisfied it was a rational hour to awaken, he sat up on his bedroll. He stole a look down at Valbar. Asleep, the lines of his face were smoothed almost completely away. His brow, in its natural slight frown, was relaxed. He hadn’t shaved since they set out, and a shadow of stubble was now becoming apparent. His hair – getting long now, he’d probably want it cut soon – was spread around around his head.

Leon tried not to think much of any of these details. But he simply could not avoid it. When he tried to look away, something pulled him back.

That had not been the first time Valbar had talked him down from a nightmare. For a while, before they became especially close, Leon had gone them alone. It had not been easy. He had eventually become afraid to sleep, afraid that the terrible sights lurking in the back of his mind would return as soon as he closed his eyes. The nightmares did not occur every night, but they did so often enough to make him uneasy.

He’d had one on the first night he’d spent with Valbar. They had been on an overnight patrol around the outpost, around three months after Nathaniel had died. Leon hadn’t been attached to him yet. That patrol would be one of the first of many reasons why he was.

Valbar had shaken him awake, just like that. He had asked what he should do, if Leon needed anything, if he was all right.

Leon hadn’t let anything slip that night. Not yet. He’d still been so angry, so defensive whenever somebody tried to help him.

But in particular, he remembered Valbar asking whether the nightmares happened all the time. Leon had lied, told him it never happened.

Thankfully, Valbar had seen through that lie. Since that night, they had spent many more patrols together, gone on many an overnight trip, and every time the nightmares struck, Valbar was right there.

A friend like him, Leon thought to himself, was truly the greatest blessing he could have received back then. He wondered if Valbar knew he’d saved Leon’s life back then – if he knew how many times he had done so.

He looked down at his sleeping face. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling a little.

Perhaps… perhaps he could learn to simply be content with having Valbar at his side. Perhaps he could set these traitorous new feelings aside, and continue as they had been.

His smile fell away as he reflected on what Valbar had said to him last night.

Valbar certainly would not have said the same things if he had known to whom Leon was referring.

Leon crawled to the tent entrance and looked outside. His head ached and he squinted against the dawn light.

He forced his smile back into place. He hoped it looked as it always did.

“Wake up, friend,” he called over his shoulder. “You want to get an early start, don’t you?”

Valbar grunted behind him. Leon heard him roll over and sigh, in that half-asleep way. His face softened.

He stood up and began to move around the camp. He took out morning provisions for both of them before he started packing the rest of their things. There wasn’t much to be done after a single night of camping out, but Leon took his time.

When Valbar at last emerged, yawning, from the tent, Leon tossed him his share of food. It hit him in the chest and bounced off, landing on the ground.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” Leon teased. Valbar grumbled something in reply and picked the packet up off the ground. Leon sat down beside him as he unwrapped a small loaf of bread and began to eat.

“How you feeling?” Valbar asked around his first mouthful of food.

Leon took a huge bite of jerky. Valbar waited.

“Fine,” Leon said easily, after almost a full minute of chewing. “Yourself?”

Valbar scoffed. “_I’m_ not the one who woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, Leon. I’m completely all right.”

“Well, good,” Leon said. “Then that makes two of us.”

“Did you get back to sleep at all?”

“Yeah. Slept like a baby.”

“That’s somethin’, at least, then.”

“We’ll be reaching your hometown today,” Leon said, gently redirecting the conversation. “Are you ready to see them all again?”

“Am I ever,” Valbar replied, almost wistfully. He finished his bread and leaned against the tree behind him. He looked into the distance, in the direction they would soon be traveling. His eyes were warm. Leon focused on his nose instead.

“It’s been too long,” he continued. “I bet Byron’s… I bet he’s up to your shoulder now, Leon, actually.”

Leon snorted. “I’m not _that_ small,” he protested. “Please.”

“You’re a pretty little guy, Leon.”

“He’s _eleven_, yes?”

“And he’s _my_ son. I was nearly as tall as you when I was his age.”

Leon looked at him incredulously. “I suppose we’ll just have to see, won’t we?” he said. “And soon.”

“Soon,” Valbar repeated. A soft smile graced his face. Leon had to look away again. His hands felt suddenly cold.

They finished their meal quickly and packed up the rest of the campsite. Before the sun had fully risen over the horizon, the two of them were on the move again. Valbar walked alongside his horse, but Leon alternated walking and riding; his sleepless night had taken more of a toll than he cared to admit.

It was a beautiful morning; cool, but not uncomfortably so. Leon closed his eyes as they moved along, letting the sun dappling the forest warm his face. He and Valbar talked occasionally, laughed from time to time. Just as they always did. It was easier to do when they weren’t sleeping side by side. When he wasn’t so close. When Leon could more easily tell himself that he was merely speaking with a friend. When he could write off his racing heartbeat as a side effect of walking for hours.

It was easier this way.

They exited the forest in which they’d camped by the time the sun was almost overhead. At last they could see the sky again – and, in the far distance, the ocean. A hill sloped gently ahead of them, obscuring most of their view of the water, but Leon could still smell it in the air, and imagined he could hear it.

“Not far at all now,” Valbar said lightly. “Just over this hill, and we’ll be able to see the town.”

Leon slid off the back of his horse and began walking in step with Valbar as they climbed the hill. His hands were shaking and his heart fluttered. Only a little farther now. He took a breath to steady himself.

It wouldn’t be any different than how things were back at the outpost, Leon told himself. It would be just the same. Valbar was his friend, his closest friend, and that alone. He was about to meet the family of his closest friend – the people Valbar loved most, who made him happiest.

_If he’s happy, I’m happy._

They crested the hill at last. The ocean, the little town nestled at the foot of the hill on its other side, came into full view. Leon grinned and took it all in; that familiar blue, that cool sea breeze, the wind whistling through the tall grasses. It felt like home to him as well.

Valbar stopped walking. Leon heard his breath catch and looked back at him, prepared to crack a joke, to tease him somehow, but the look on his face stopped any attempt in its tracks.

Valbar was frowning ahead of them, mouth half-open. Leon followed his gaze.

The two of them stared down at the little town. Leon didn’t see anything wrong at first, but the longer he looked, the more he noticed.

It was quiet here. Save for the wind, for the crashing of the waves in the distance, there was no sound. Leon could not see anyone moving around in the streets – unusual for a port town at this time of year and day. Even the main street, directly below them, was deserted. No boats were docked in the port. None at all.

Leon noticed that several of the buildings and houses seemed… dark, somehow. Painted black? It seemed unlikely, especially beside the bright pastel colors of the homes closest to them.

Leon’s stomach sank before he knew why.

Without a word, Valbar swung up onto his horse and took off down the hill as fast as he could go. Leon quickly followed suit, leaning close to his horse’s back as they sped after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right here we go see ya next week


	5. Chapter Five

VC 400

It took less than a minute to reach the town. Leon followed Valbar as closely as he could, determined not to lose track of him as he rushed through the streets.

Every window they passed was shuttered, or else shattered. Doors were boarded up. Here and there, they passed a shop or a home that had been burned. Here an entire block of homes had been razed to the ground.

Leon’s heart was in his throat. He silently prayed, with each step they took, that Valbar’s family was safe.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Valbar pulled his horse to a stop. He nearly fell in dismounting, and Leon rushed to his side to steady him. Without sparing so much of a glance at Leon, he staggered down a narrow street, stopping halfway along it. Leon hurried after him, casting about as they went. Whatever had happened here… whoever had done this… it was possible there was still danger about. Somebody had too keep an eye out.

Leon slid his bow off his back and nocked an arrow.

Valbar stopped. Air rushed from his lungs as if he had been hit from behind. Leon looked up at him sharply.

“Valbar –”

The pile of scorched rubble before them was no longer recognizable as a home. The stone half-wall that surrounded its barren yard had survived, but beyond it was nothing but charcoal.

Leon reached out to touch Valbar’s back but he moved away before he made contact. He rushed through the gate, into his yard, and stood directly in front of the ruin. Leon moved to his side, still wary of whatever might still have been lurking.

\- - -

Valbar staggered toward his home. He heard Leon speak, felt his hand on his back, but couldn’t understand what he was saying. Through the roaring in his ears, nothing was audible. Nothing made sense.

Least of all the sight before him now.

This couldn’t be right. This couldn’t be happening.

He stepped forward, into the wreckage of his home. No part of it stood as it once had. Only parts of the walls remained. Glass lay broken on the scorched floorboards. The roof had collapsed entirely, and burned mostly away.

Before he could move any further into what had once been the front room of his home, a hand grabbed him by the arm and stopped him.

“Valbar,” Leon cautioned. “Don’t go in there – it isn’t safe. Come on.”

Valbar shook him off. “They… where are they?”

Leon grabbed at him again, this time tugging him back. Valbar, momentarily unbalanced, found himself pulled a few steps away from the house.

“I don’t know,” Leon said. “I… I don’t know. But it’s dangerous to go in there. Come on –”

Valbar wrenched his arm out of Leon’s grip and charged forward, ignoring his protests. He moved into what had once been his living room, lifted a fallen rafter, and hauled it as high up as he could. There was nothing beneath it. Nothing but the charred remains of the floorboards.

Feverishly, he moved through the house, lifting what he could, hauling pieces of the structure aside, each moment half-expecting to find Victoria or Byron unconscious in the rubble, to hear their voices call out to him. They had to be trapped somewhere. The house was small. They had to be somewhere…

“Valbar?”

A familiar voice called out to him from somewhere far away. He turned his head towards it, tearing himself away from his search.

Standing beside Leon, a bandage wrapped around her head, was one of Valbar’s neighbors. An older woman who leaned heavily on a cane. She walked with a limp that she had not had the last time Valbar had seen her; old as she was, she was active and healthy. She stumbled as she moved to step forward, and Leon hastily put out an arm to assist her. She nodded gratefully at him, and then addressed Valbar again.

“Valbar, that _is _you,” she said.

Valbar could see tears in her eyes.

“Maude,” he said, lost. “Maude, what… what happened here?”

Maude bowed her head. “Why don’t you come out here, son, and I’ll tell you. Out here.”

“Valbar,” Leon intoned. “Please. Come on.”

“Where is my family?” Valbar demanded, looking frantically about the skeleton of his home. “Where are they?”

Leon stepped away from Maude and offered Valbar his hand. Valbar disregarded him.

“Tell me.” His voice broke on the words. “Where are they? Are they safe?”

Maude hid her face in her free hand. Valbar saw her shoulders shake.

His heart sank. He refused to acknowledge it. He strode over to where she stood, out of the creaking remnants of his family’s home, and fell to his knees before her.

Leon put a hand on his shoulder and knelt beside him. He was pale, his expression drawn. Valbar would not take his eyes off Maude.

She shook her head, pressed her fingers to her mouth.

“I’m so sorry,” she wavered. “I… didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you. We sent a messenger to you, just as soon as this all happened, but… I suppose they didn’t reach you in time.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “Maude. Please.”

Finally, finally, she looked him in the eye. Tears trailed down her wrinkled cheeks, but when she spoke, her voice was steady.

“Valbar,” she said. “I’m… I’m so sorry. We were… we were attacked. Pirates swept through the town a few nights ago. They robbed our stores, they burned our homes, they…”

Her voice cracked. She covered her mouth again, squeezed her eyes shut, and shivered.

Leon’s grip on his arm tightened.

“…Valbar, I’m so sorry,” Maude wept. “Your family… your wife, your son… your parents and siblings… they were…”

He couldn’t hear her anymore. He wouldn’t listen. For as long as her sentence remained unfinished, the reality of it could be anything, anything at all.

“…they were killed.”

Valbar stood up, dislodging Leon’s arm. He frowned down at Maude, who was crying in earnest now. He waited for her to pause, to explain herself. There was a sourceless ringing in the back of his skull.

The things she was saying were wrong. They couldn’t be dead. They couldn’t all be dead. There was some mistake. This was some cruel joke.

“Valbar,” Leon said, his voice thin. He didn’t say anything more, instead taking Valbar’s hand in both of his own.

Valbar waited.

Maude took several deep breaths, swaying on the spot. Eventually she collected herself enough to say more.

“We… were waiting for you to arrive,” she said. “To… to bury them.”

Leon squeezed his hand.

“Where are they?” he asked. His voice did not sound like his own.

Maude looked up at him, brow deeply furrowed. She shook herself, nodded, and turned to lead the way down the front path. Valbar followed her, dragging Leon along behind. Leon wasn’t letting go of his hand. He made no move to make him.

Maude led the two of them farther along the street of destroyed homes, towards the center of town. The town he had grown up in, the town in which his son had been born, the town to which he had always planned to return – it was not itself any longer. It was no longer his home, but some terrible imposter fallen where it had stood.

He didn’t know this place.

There was a small crowd gathered in the main square. People milled about, people Valbar recognized, many of whom called out to him as he drew closer. He didn’t look at them. He could only follow Maude onward and try to ignore the weeping of the people they passed.

At last, Maude stopped walking. They stood now on one edge of the town square. Where there should have been busy market stalls run by noisy seasonal merchants peddling their wares, there was instead a blank stretch of pavement stones. On the ground lay six figures covered with sheets. Five large ones, and one small one – only a little smaller than Leon.

The hands grasping his own were freezing.

Valbar pulled away from them.

He knelt between the two figures on the end – the smallest two.

He took hold of one corner of the sheets covering their faces.

He pulled them back.

Victoria’s eyes were closed, her expression relaxed. Her hair was loose, fanned out around her head as though she had laid down to sleep. But a dark, dark wound, part of which was just barely visible on her scalp, pulled all the color from her cheeks. Valbar touched her. She was freezing. She did not react to his touch. She did not turn her head away from him, did not playfully swat his hand away and smile as she awakened.

Byron’s face was unmarked, but paler still than his mother’s. His freckles stood out sharply against his skin. His eyes seemed hollow. There was blood on the collar of his shirt – only a little, only a few drops, surely not enough, surely…

Valbar felt a stabbing pain in his chest.

He bent and rested his forehead against his son’s. He tangled one hand in his soft, wavy hair. Just like Valbar’s had been when he was young. His head was still small enough that Valbar could cradle it in one palm.

He remembered the day Byron was born. How beautiful he had been. How he and Victoria had held him, held each other, and felt like the happiest people in the world. The miracle of their son, of creating an entirely new life together, had been too big a feeling to contain.

Valbar raised his head. Byron wasn’t moving. His chest was not rising and falling with his breath. He was not sleeping.

Valbar couldn’t see. Couldn’t breathe.

Someone placed a hand on his back. Someone spoke to him, in a soft, shaking voice. He couldn’t hear them.

A wordless roar drowned out all else. Loud, broken sobbing. It took Valbar a moment to realize these sounds were coming from him.

His screaming seemed larger than himself. He was pressed to the ground by it. He clung to Victoria and Byron with one arm each, so tightly he felt he might die if he let them go. His hands grew cold.

For hours, Valbar cried. All the while, that hand remained on his back.

Inevitably, he exhausted himself.

With monstrous difficulty, Valbar straightened up and sat back on his heels. He looked once more into the faces of his wife and child.

“Valbar…”

Leon’s voice. Brittle, hoarse. He was still here.

Valbar felt arms around his shoulders, felt the warmth of another person against his back. A lock of lilac hair fell against his shoulder. He closed his eyes, reached up to touch his arm.

“Who did this,” he asked of the cruelly bright afternoon. “Who… what _monster_ did this?”

Leon’s arms tightened around him.

“I don’t know,” Leon said. “I…”

He trailed off.

“I’ll find out,” Valbar decided. He opened his eyes and stroked Victoria’s cheek. “I swear. I swear to you… I’ll find out who did this. I’ll make sure they don’t live to see another year.”

The pain had a physical presence in his chest. It made it hard to breathe. With Leon’s help, he managed to get to his feet. Several of his neighbors ventured closer then, now that he had a hold of himself. They spoke with pain in their voices. They asked him if he needed anything, anything at all.

There was nothing they could do for him. Valbar didn’t need to tell them that.

One man – the innkeeper, a man named Floren – approached him, turned him aside from the many others, and quietly asked when he would like to bury them.

Valbar recoiled from the question. But it had to be answered.

“…Tomorrow,” he decided. “Tomorrow. I… need more time to say goodbye to them all.”

His neighbor nodded. “I’ll take care of the preparations for you,” he said. “You take care of yourself. There’s a room or two free in the inn. No charge right now. Everyone’s just helpin’ each other out. Let me or Antony know if you need anything.”

Valbar clenched his jaw and nodded.

Floren clapped him on the shoulder and stepped back. And Leon was there again, at his side as if he had never left.

Leon’s eyes were red. He looked up at Valbar, mouth half-open, lost for words.

Valbar couldn’t muster the strength for even the most forced of smiles. Leon didn’t need any prompting, however.

“Valbar,” he said. “I… I can’t imagine…”

He shook his head. “I’m so sorry,” he continued. “I don’t know what to say.”

Valbar bowed his head.

“I’m… I’m here if you need anything,” Leon added. “Anything at all. If there’s anything I can do, to even make this a little more bearable for you – I’ll do it. Anything.”

Valbar frowned hard. There was a break lurking below the surface of Leon’s voice. He sounded almost the way he had after Nathaniel had died.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Valbar said. “You have your own worries, don’t ya?”

Leon grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. “Not now I don’t,” he snapped. “Not when you’ve just lost so much. What kind of person would I be to put my worries first right now?”

Valbar gave a humorless laugh. “I’m glad to have you around, Leon,” he breathed. “Truly.”

Leon pressed their clasped hands to his chest. “I’m at your side. In all things.”

There was a fierce determination in Leon’s violet eyes, in the crease of his brow. Looking at him, raring to fight, made a pained smile tug at the corners of Valbar’s mouth.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. “I’ve… got quite a fight ahead of me, I think.”

Leon let their hands fall, but did not let go. Valbar was grateful for the warmth.

“Let’s get you some rest,” Leon murmured. “Come on. The inn.”

Valbar allowed himself to be led away.

\- - -

Leon walked Valbar to the inn and got them a room. The innkeeper’s husband led them to the end of the hall and handed them a key. Leon thanked him and Valbar vaguely echoed the sentiment.

“Make sure he eats,” the innkeeper implored Leon. “We’re gonna be serving a meal at sundown. Make sure the both of you come get some.”

“I will,” Leon said, and then closed the door behind him.

It was a little room. Two small beds were crammed into the corners, with a small table in between them. Not much, but enough to get by for a little while.

Valbar let go of Leon’s hand and sank down onto one of the beds. He rested his elbows on his knees and let his head fall. His hair hid his face.

Leon pressed his lips together. It hurt to look at him. Mere hours before, the two of them had been talking and laughing together, just like always, as if they hadn’t a care in the world.

Leon’s troubles seemed so small when faced with the sight of Valbar deadened like this.

Silence occupied the room. Leon wanted to speak, to say anything that might help, but he simply wasn’t equipped for this. He didn’t know what to say when people were in pain. And this kind of pain… his usual approach wasn’t viable.

All the same, he needed to do something.

He owed Valbar his life. He couldn’t just let him suffer alone.

He was his friend.

Leon knelt in front of him. He placed a hand on his knee.

“Valbar,” he intoned. “Do you need anything?”

Valbar took a slow breath, shaking his head. “No,” he said. “No, Leon, I’m all right.”

“I want to help.”

“I know. I’ll tell you.”

“Please. I don’t want you to go this alone.”

Valbar’s eyebrows contracted. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Leon saw his mouth wobble. His chest ached.

He sat up on his knees and threw his arms around Valbar’s head, pressing him to his heart.

“They’re gone,” Valbar wavered. “I… I can’t believe…”

Leon hid his face in Valbar’s hair. He didn’t have words. There weren’t any. Not for something like this. Leon tried desperately to remember the words Valbar had said to him, back when they first met – but they were lost to the fog he’d been in, to the time that had passed.

Ever so slightly, Valbar’s shoulders began to shake.

He was crying.

Leon’s own eyes filled with tears. He held Valbar still tighter, doing what very little he could to ground him. Valbar did not push him away.

“I’m sorry,” Leon whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”

Valbar’s arms shakily wrapped around Leon’s middle. Leon closed his eyes, ran his fingers through Valbar’s hair.

“Everyone…” Valbar’s voice shook him. “Everyone… all of them…”

“I know.”

“My son… my _son…”_

Valbar choked.

“I couldn’t… I couldn’t protect them.”

Leon pulled away, held him at arm’s length, looked him square in the face. Valbar’s eyes were red. Tears tracked down his face.

Leon brushed them away.

“You did everything you could have done,” Leon stated. “You were protecting them from anything you could have anticipated.”

Valbar looked down at the floor. Leon ducked after him, trying to keep eye contact.

“Even if you were here when it happened, I don’t know how much you could have helped,” he said. “You… you would have just died along with them.”

Valbar’s expression didn’t change. He shook his head slightly.

“That… might have been better,” he breathed.

Anger flared in Leon. He grabbed Valbar’s head in both hands and forced him to look at him again.

“Don’t you give up,” Leon growled. “Not like this. Not after everything you said to me. Not you.”

Valbar’s eyes widened. Leon shook him.

“I’m happy you’re still here. All right? I know it hurts – I can’t imagine how much. But I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you didn’t die.”

Valbar opened his mouth, but said nothing. Leon steeled himself before continuing.

“You’re important to me,” he said. “I want you to stay. You dragged me back when I was lost, so there’s no way I’m going to let you go it alone.”

Valbar took hold of Leon’s wrists. He fixed Leon with a newly unwavering stare.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly. “If… If I couldn’t go out with ’em, the least I can do is keep goin’ for their sake.”

Leon nodded.

“I gotta make the monster who did this to them pay.” Valbar let go of him and sat back, tilting his head up to the ceiling. “I could never face them again if I didn’t at least do that much for them. If I go out… I go out avenging them.”

Leon watched him – took his hand again. He closed his eyes and breathed.

“Leon,” he murmured. “I’m gonna be on leave a lot longer than I thought. You… you should get on home. See your family.”

Leon scoffed. “After what you just said, do you really think I’m gonna just go home and wait? Do you think I’m just gonna go back to the army without you?”

“Leon –” Valbar looked down at him again, eyes weary, but Leon interrupted him before he could go on.

“Stop.” Leon raised one hand and shook his head. “I’m not gonna let you go by yourself. It’s dangerous, and especially when you’re like this. You remember what I said to you, right? I’m at your side in all things.”

He made a fist and planted it over his heart, grabbing Valbar by the collar with his other hand.

“You saved my life. Let me save yours.”

Valbar looked up at him gravely. Those eyes were knowing.

Leon shook his head. “In any case. I’m not going to go sit around and wait for you to come back. I’m coming with you, wherever you go.”

_I won’t let you slip away too._

Leon released him and got to his feet.

“That’s all there is to it,” he said, more gently now. “You can’t get rid of me now.”

He pushed a lock of Valbar’s hair away from his face. There was pain in his dark brown eyes, pain that would doubtless stay there for years. Valbar frowned again, deepening the lines only just beginning to form on his face. Leon wanted to hold him, to take it all away. But he couldn’t. There was simply nothing he could do. He hated this powerlessness.

“Lie down,” Leon said. “Let me take care of everything.”

Mechanically, Valbar did so. Leon pulled the curtains, blocking out the afternoon sun. It still wasn’t especially dark, but it would have to do.

Leon sat down on the other bed, facing him. He rested his elbows on his knees and his chin on one hand. He watched Valbar in the semidarkness, heard him shift around as he tried to get comfortable on the thin mattress.

There was a sort of ringing emptiness in Leon’s chest.

Seeing Valbar cradle the body of his son – his _son_, not even eleven years old – had been agonizing. Valbar was a man who loved. A man who loved deeply, and without ever faltering. He’d told Leon stories of how he and his wife had met and fallen in love – how beautiful she was, how he’d just known it would be her in the end, how happy she made him, how proud he was to call her his wife. And their son; Valbar had been known to get choked up in talking about him. He’d told Leon that Byron almost hadn’t made it through his first year, that he’d gotten very sick and nearly died – that every day with him was a blessing, one that he could never take for granted. Valbar would tell anyone who would listen about whatever news he heard from home. The softness in his face when he talked about them, when he wistfully said how much he missed them… and his siblings, his parents… the stories he would tell…

Leon could not begin to imagine how he was suffering. He had truly lost everything in just a few short hours. The pain that Leon had felt in losing Nathaniel… that paled next to this. It simply could not compare.

Leon drew one knee up to his chest and rested his chin on it.

It would take time. Plenty of time. So much time that it would doubtless feel unending.

Leon was prepared to stay at his side for all that and longer if it meant Valbar would one day smile again. If vengeance was the only way, so be it.

That anger roiled up again. Leon clenched his fists.

For this family he had never gotten to meet, for this family slaughtered in cold blood, for the family of his dearest friend… Leon would stop at nothing to make sure their justice was carried out. He would make sure that Valbar got there, did whatever needed to be done to whoever it needed to be done to.

The first step was finding out who that was. Leon would have to ask around and see what the rest of the townspeople knew. That old woman had mentioned pirates. Leon wondered if there was anything more specific to be found; they could hardly set out with such vague knowledge.

Though Leon knew it would be enough for Valbar. It might take an effort to keep him from running off as early as tomorrow.

Leon would make sure they stayed a while. Valbar would want to help the townspeople rebuild to some degree. Leon would make sure he healed as much as possible. They would gather provisions and head out. However long it took to get to that point, Leon didn’t care.

For Valbar’s sake, he would do whatever it took.

\- - -

They buried Valbar’s family the following morning.

The graves had already been dug by the time they arrived in town, the burial only delayed because someone had known Valbar would be arriving soon. Valbar insisted on carrying each of them to their final resting places himself. Leon offered to help, but Valbar said he didn’t need it. Leon instead waited beside the graveyard as Valbar slowly carried each of them inside. His expression was stony, exhausted; he hadn’t slept much the previous night, and nor had Leon.

All the same, Leon could see tears falling down Valbar’s cheeks.

Once they were laid to rest, Leon moved to Valbar’s side. A small crowd of mourners accompanied them – the many, many friends that this family had. They were loved people, greatly so, and would be all the more greatly missed for it.

Leon was close at hand as Valbar lowered his father, his mother, his sister, his brother, his wife, and his son into their graves. His son looked even tinier in his burial shroud than Leon could have imagined. He looked so much like Valbar that it wrenched at his heart.

Leon could not imagine losing a child. His mind could not accommodate the thought. He had never so much as considered being a parent himself, but all the same – to be a father, and outlive one’s child… the thought of raising somebody, somebody so small and helpless, only to lose them…

And to such senseless violence as this. Leon did know how Valbar was still standing. But there he was. He lowered his son’s lifeless body into the ground. He knelt and kissed his brow one last time. When he moved to climb out of the grave, Leon was there, offering a hand. Valbar took it, and Leon helped him haul himself out onto level ground. Leon tried to catch his eye as he stood up, but Valbar seemed to look straight through him.

His hands were cold.

The townspeople moved forward as one, shovels in hand. Alongside them, Leon helped Valbar slowly cover his family’s graves with earth. He wasn’t crying anymore. Somehow that felt worse than it had to see his tears. Like a contaminated wound that refused to bleed freely, hiding the pain risked it festering. Leon knew all too well.

For now, perhaps it was merely a brave face. Perhaps once all the people were gone, Valbar would let it fall again.

With so many people helping, it didn’t take long to cover the graves. Once it was done, people began to cover them further with flowers, prayers, whatever offerings could be spared. Leon looked around him now, at all the other graves. So many of them looked similarly fresh. It chilled him to wonder just how many people had lost their lives in this one tragic attack.

“You a friend of Valbar’s?” a voice asked from just behind him.

Leon turned and found the innkeeper – Floren, he thought his name was – standing there. An older man with tired eyes. He smiled sadly when Leon looked his way.

“I am,” Leon replied. “We met in the army.”

“I see,” Floren nodded. He glanced over Leon’s shoulder, in Valbar’s direction, and sighed. “It’s good you’re with him. He’d run himself ragged without someone to stop him.”

Leon shrugged. “Someone’s gotta look after him.”

Leon looked back over at Valbar. He was deep in conversation with a tearful young lady standing beside his wife’s grave. His back was to Leon.

His heart twinged.

“It’s… terrible, what happened,” Floren went on. “The poor man’s entire family. Three generations wiped out, just like that…”

“What happened here?”

As soon as he asked, he regretted it. This tragedy affected Floren as well. The entire town.

But Floren took a deep breath, held it a moment, and then spoke.

“A band of pirates swept in three days ago,” he said. “We’re not exactly strangers to that sort of company around here, being right on the coast, and too far from anything to expect much protection from the crown. But normally, they leave us alone. They linger in our waters and harass our boatmen, but there’s never been bloodshed on this scale before. We’re not worth picking on too much.”

Floren’s hands curled into fists. “I don’t know why they’ve done this now. Right when we’re struggling more than we have in years. It isn’t… conscionable.”

Leon stared at Valbar’s back.

“His family,” he said. “Were they… why them?”

“His parents were merchants. Their shop was right on the water,” Floren explained. “I don’t know what all happened; Antony and I were holding down our own. I can only guess. I imagine Ewan and Lorraine hurried to help them when the trouble started. As for Victoria and… and their child…”

Floren stopped to steady himself for a moment.

“Their house burned,” Leon finished quietly. “They were attacked.”

“Yes,” Floren wavered. He quickly dried his eyes on his sleeve. “They… they were.”

Leon frowned.

“These pirates,” he said after a moment. “Does anyone know where they come from? Who they are?”

Floren had to gather himself before speaking.

“They’re led by a man named Barth,” he said. “Or so I understand. I don’t know where they hail from.”

“Barth,” Leon repeated. He clenched his fists. “I see.”  
“You… aren’t thinking of…”

Leon looked back at him sharply. The poor man’s eyes were wide. Leon gave him a tight smile.

“Thank you for telling me,” he said. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help you.”

With that, he turned on his heel and strode back towards Valbar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright that's chapter five in the bag
> 
> sorry for the delay on this one, hopefully i'll get it together a little quicker next week
> 
> also we're still definitely looking at more than nine chapters on this thing, i'm just not sure how many yet. i will update the counter when i know 
> 
> thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed ~ see you next week


	6. Chapter Six

VC 401

Leon wrinkled his nose. The smells of the bustling city disagreed with him. Fish and brine were familiar smells, to be sure, but here they were magnified and rotted in such a way that he couldn’t stomach them. Combined with the overall noise of people and animals squalling at all hours of the day, all these smells made Leon positively nauseous. Thankfully, they hadn’t needed to resort to sea travel yet – but they would have to, and soon. The pirate known as Barth made his home on an island, referred to by those they had asked as the Pirate’s Throne.

Loath as he was to take to the seas, the rage Leon felt at the arrogance of this monster made it seem irrelevant.

They had been on the road for over a month now, after several months spend in Valbar’s hometown. Valbar had found out Barth’s name within days of their arrival, and it had been all Leon could do to keep him still for a while. Once they’d resolved to stay a while, they had both kept very busy with rebuilding the town and getting Valbar’s neighbors back on their feet. Leon had watched Valbar rebuild homes and shops almost single-handedly, and had pitched in where he could.

Once satisfied that the town was approaching normality again, Valbar had announced he was leaving. And off they had gone.

Valbar had come back to himself to a degree as they moved along. He would laugh from time to time, and his smile grew easier once more. Sometimes, Leon could almost forget anything was wrong. Almost. There was a hollowness behind Valbar’s eyes now, one that grew deeper when the sun set, when they had traveled a long way, when they had gone a few days without learning anything new to aid them. Sometimes Leon would find him staring into the distance, his expression completely flat, his eyes half-lidded. When asked what he was thinking about, he would shake himself, say it was nothing, and brush him off.

Leon knew better, and Valbar knew that. But all the same, Leon played along. If Valbar wanted to talk, he would. He did sometimes, more often as time went on; he would tell Leon stories about his family, about the happy times they had had together. Some of them he had heard before, but was happy to hear again.

The more he heard, the angrier he became. Valbar’s family had been so kind, so loving, so important to him. They had been living people. They had been strangers to those pirates, who had nevertheless decided it would be better if they died. With every story Valbar told of them, Leon grew deeply sad and furious.

“How do you _stand_ it?” Leon had burst out one night – and regretted it immediately.

But Valbar had just shaken his head.

“Giving up just isn’t something I can do,” he’d said. “Thinkin’ about the happy stuff… that’s the only thing that keeps me moving forward.

“I’m barely standin’ it, Leon,” he’d added, after a moment. “It’s… it hurts so bad sometimes that it holds me down.”

Leon had bumped him with his shoulder. Valbar had returned the bump. Leon had wanted to throw his arms around him, to just hold him, and somehow take away that pain that crushed him. But he had settled on bumping him. There wasn’t much more he could do.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Leon,” he’d assured him. “Nowhere but forward.”

And hard as it was at times, forward they moved – with glances backward at the reasons why.

Leon stepped quickly across the road, out of the path of a horse and cart that seemed disinclined to slow for him. He scoffed at the driver as they passed and continued along the road.

The inn where he and Valbar had stayed the night was a little out of the way, away from the noise of the center of town. Leon had risen earlier than Valbar – as he usually did – and gone out to buy food for the two of them. In all likelihood, they would be leaving this town today, possibly for good.

They knew where Barth made his headquarters now, or at least they knew where everyone thought it was. All that was left was to recruit help, and Leon had a lead on where they could get some.

He pushed open the door to the inn, nodded quickly at the innkeeper, and hurried up the stairs.

“Rise and shine,” he chirped as he opened the door to their room.

Valbar, already awake, fully clothed, and sitting at the table poring over their maps, raised an acknowledging hand without looking up.

Leon smirked. “Somebody’s eager,” he said.

Valbar grunted.

Leon opened his bag and produced a loaf of freshly-baked bread and some fruit, which he set down on the table in front of Valbar. At this, Valbar looked up.

“Thanks,” he said. “’Preciated.”

“Of course.” Leon yawned and took a huge bite of bread. “They had fried fish as well, but I’m sick of them.”

Valbar chuckled. “I am as well,” he said. “It’s been a lot of fish lately.”

“Fresh fruit, though. That’s a welcome treat.”

“Indeed.”

Leon watched him carefully. When, after a minute or so, he still hadn’t taken any food, Leon nudged some towards him.

“Come on, old friend,” he said. “Eat up. We set out for good today. You’ll need your strength.”

Valbar shook himself and looked up at him. “Right, yeah,” he mumbled. He picked up a loaf and tore it in half.

Leon leaned back in his chair, chewing and quietly watching him. He was concentrating so hard on the maps before him, going over and over they lines they had drawn, that his brow was furrowed. A lock of hair fell in front of his face and he brushed it back. He rested his forehead against the palm of one large hand. Leon still felt some remnant of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he admired Valbar’s arms, under his half-rolled shirtsleeves.

It was impossible to ignore by now. Leon couldn’t deny it, couldn’t explain it any other way. It was as simple as it was complex; he was in love with Valbar.

It had chilled him when he first allowed himself to think it, to form that sentence in his mind. It had been a cold night, early on in their journey, and the two of them had slept close together, back-to-back, in their tent in an effort to keep themselves warm. They’d done it before when on patrol for the army – many times. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Something about that night, though, had been different somehow. The closeness of him, the warmth of him, had suddenly become too much to handle. Something about those simple moments of contact had been enough to tip the scale.

From that unremarkable night on, Leon allowed himself to feel it. Stifling it had become too much. In any case, having these feelings was another thing entirely than acting on them. That, Leon could not fathom doing.

_I’m sorry, Nathaniel. Victoria._

Leon smiled softly at Valbar. He picked up an apple and bit into it.

“You’re so focused,” he said. “What has you so enraptured?”

Valbar barely glanced back at him.

“We’re… so close,” he mumbled. “I’m having a hard time believing it, really.”

He tore his attention away from the notes and leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms high overhead. The hem of his shirt rode up slightly. Leon tried not to stare.

“After all this way,” he went on. “We’re within days of it.”

Leon nodded. “Better yet,” he said, “I’ve found out where we can hire a blade.”

Valbar raised his eyebrows. “You did?” he asked. “When’d you do that?”

Leon grinned. “Overheard someone talking at that tavern we went to,” he said. “Chatted up a guy at the bar, found out a little helpful information.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”  
“It was late, and I knew if I said anything, you wouldn’t rest until we’d followed up on it.”

Valbar scowled at him. Leon deflected it with a smile.

“You’re not wrong,” he admitted.

“I know,” Leon said lightly. He stood up from the table and gestured around at the room. “So, once we’re ready, I’ll be happy to lead you there.”

“I barely unpacked. You know me.”

“So I do,” Leon replied. “I packed before I left this morning. Shall we?”

Valbar shuffled his papers into a pile and tucked them back into his bag. As he stood up from the table, Leon put a hand on his chest and gently shoved him back down.

“Eat first,” he reminded him.

Valbar laughed and took a bite of an apple. “Where would I be without ya,” he mumbled.

“Starved to death, for one,” Leon shot back. “You’d be hopeless without me.”

Through the teasing, though, he felt his heart skip.

Soon enough Valbar had eaten enough to satisfy Leon and they finished packing to leave. It was a quick process; neither of them ever unpacked beyond a change of clothes. Leon had gotten quite used to being on the road. Being ready to move out at a moment’s notice was a skill he had acquired in the army and perfected at Valbar’s side. There was a certain thrill to it – excitement in not knowing where exactly the day would take them.

In any case, they had several hours to kill before Leon could reasonably expect to meet a mercenary in a tavern. They went over their plans another time, decided on a list of supplies to acquire – weapons included. Leon was running short of arrows and Valbar’s lance could use maintenance. By the time they were finished planning their next move and buying whatever they still needed, it was afternoon, and Valbar was becoming too restless to stay in one place any longer.

Valbar paid the innkeeper on their way out and Leon led the way down the street. They had to venture even farther away from the main street to reach the tavern they’d been in, and then Leon turned a corner even darker still.

Valbar made an apprehensive noise and took hold of Leon’s arm as they moved on. Leon looked incredulously up at him, but Valbar was surveying the alley ahead of them.

“Scared of the dark?” Leon teased.

Valbar grunted at him. “Little guy like you could get carried off in a place like this,” he said.

Leon snorted. “Me? Please.”

“Just makin’ sure.”

“I appreciate the concern,” Leon said. “But you know I can take care of myself. I may not be the biggest, but I can put up I fight if I have to, old friend.”

After another moment, Valbar released his arm. “Just stay close,” he muttered.

Leon grinned in the dark. He leaned heavily against Valbar, putting the back of one hand to his forehead in a mock-swoon. “My gallant knight,” he said.

“You shut up.” He bopped Leon lightly on the top of the head with a closed fist. “Places like this are dangerous.”

Leon laughed to himself as they moved along. The alley was indeed ominous-looking, but there wasn’t anybody out and about. Leon wasn’t worried. But he was glad to have Valbar at his side.

Leon squinted up at the doorways as they passed. The man from last night had told him that the place wasn’t conspicuous, but that it would be easy enough to find if he was looking for it.

“What kind of mercenaries did you stumble onto?” Valbar murmured.

“Good ones, I hope,” Leon replied.

Eventually, after a few more turns, they came across a door flung wide open, with lamplight and chatter pouring out. A sign hung from a chain just outside it, proclaiming it to be the Firelight Tavern. Leon looked up at Valbar and nodded at it.

“I think this is us,” he said. He put a hand on Valbar’s lower back and pushed him forward. “You first. I’m too small.”

Valbar cuffed him on the shoulder before leading the way up the steps into the tavern.

It wasn’t crowded, it being early yet, but there were a fair few people gathered about the various tables around the room. They barely glanced up at them as they walked through the room and settled down at the bar. Valbar ordered an ale for each of them and Leon cast a quick look at their fellow patrons.

Almost everyone in the tavern was seated in a pair or a group. Only one man, tucked away in a corner with a sheathed blade leaned against his leg, caught Leon’s attention.

He nudged Valbar and nodded in the man’s direction.

“He might be what we need,” Leon murmured.

Valbar glanced over his shoulder where Leon indicated. “Ya think?”

Leon nodded and took a sip of his ale. “Looks strong,” he said. “No stranger to a fight.”

“True,” Valbar said. “I’ll have to see about him.”

He drank deeply from his tankard, set it down, and got up from his stool. Leon hurriedly followed suit.

The man looked glanced up at them as they approached, and settled back in his seat with the air of somebody expecting it. He wore a headband that nearly obscured his eyebrows, making his face difficult to read. He was small, but muscular, and had a fair number of scars on his arms and hands.

Valbar cleared his throat as they reached him. “Lookin’ for work?” he asked.

The man looked him up and down, sizing him up. “Might be. What kind?” he replied.

Valbar leaned over. “The kind of work that requires skill with a blade,” he said. “Have you that?”

“A fair amount, yes sir.” The man sat forward in his chair. “You need someone taken out?”

“Might be a few someones,” Valbar said. “Lookin’ to hire for mercenary work. That your style?”

“What kinda pay we talking?”

Valbar placed a hand on the table and leaned still closer. Leon looked around the tavern, shooting withering glances at anyone he found staring.

“Two gold marks up front,” Valbar said, his voice low. “Three more when the job’s done.”

The man’s eyebrows hid themselves under his headband.

“I have to ask,” he said. “Who is it you’re after?”

“Pirate by the name of Barth,” Valbar said. “Not without risk.”

“No kidding. What’d this guy do to you?”

“Well…”

“What more do you need?” Leon put in. “He’s a pirate. A leader of them.”

The man put up a hand. “I getcha, I won’t ask,” he said. “Well, that kinda money – that _is_ my style. I can hardly turn you down, now, can I?”

Valbar straightened up. Leon could see fire in his eyes.

The man extended a hand. “Lookin’ forward to working with you, Mr…”

“Valbar,” Valbar said, shaking his hand.

“Valbar,” the man repeated. “I’m Kamui.”

Kamui turned his attention to Leon and offered the hand again. “Don’t believe I caught your name,” he said.

“Didn’t give it,” Leon said. “Leon.”

Kamui nodded as they shook hands, and then drained the tankard in front of him “Well then,” he said. “Let’s talk logistics, shall we? Have a seat.”

\- - -

They departed the city the following morning, bright and early. Valbar was up before Leon for once, and was packed and ready to go by the time he even stirred. He squinted at him in the semidarkness, long hair disheveled.

“You’re really up already?” he grunted, burying his face back in the pillow.

“Yup,” Valbar said. “You gotta get up, too. We told Kamui we’d meet at sunup.”

Leon groaned and rolled over. “Then he’ll have to deal with me being _hideous_,” he mumbled. “There’s no _way_ I got enough sleep.”

“You look great,” Valbar said. “You’re exaggerating.”

Leon hauled himself into a sitting position and scowled down at him. Valbar couldn’t help but laugh at how indignant he looked.

“You won’t ruin your chances with him,” he teased, “if you show up lookin’ shabby just once.”

Leon made a disgusted noise and flopped back onto the bed. “Don’t even joke about that,” he protested. “_Not_ my type.”

“Don’t lie back down,” Valbar said. “C’mon, you were already up.”

“And then you said something so terrible that I died. This is your fault.”

Valbar snorted and turned back to packing.

It was good to hear Leon put up with his jokes. The man had fire in him, and Valbar liked seeing it unearthed. For the first few months they’d known each other, Leon had been subdued, rarely even speaking. Understandable, given all that had happened. The way he acted now that he was recovered threw things into even sharper relief. When he reflected on that, it occurred to Valbar just how very close Leon must have come to the edge. It chilled him to think on it.

At times, Leon would stare into the distance a little too long, or his smile would falter just so and his eyes would dim a little, and Valbar was reminded of those old days. He made it a point to ask how he was doing when he got like that, but Leon rarely replied seriously. Deflecting such questions with humor was a skill at which Leon had grown quite adept over the years. Valbar could always tell when he was doing it, but Leon wouldn’t let the ruse down.

Valbar had been in quite the fog himself for the past few months, he knew. And it couldn’t have been easy for Leon to keep up with him, not when his own loss still clearly weighed him down. Valbar was grateful beyond words that Leon remained at his side. He couldn’t think how he could ever repay him.

Leon lurched his way out of bed, complaining all the while, and clumsily changed clothes, tossing the discarded garments in the direction of his bag. Valbar waited patiently for him to dress, and then stood up from his bed.

“Ready to head out?” he asked a sulking Leon.

Leon scowled up at him with such tired ferocity that he couldn’t help but laugh. He reached out and mussed his already-wild hair. He was met with annoyed protests as Leon slapped his hand away. Valbar clapped him on the shoulder and led the way out of the inn.

Dawn was only just breaking as they stepped out onto the road. It was a cool morning, and Valbar shivered a little at the abrupt change in temperature. Once they got moving, he’d warm up. By midday, he’d be sweating. It would be good to get on the road again; they hadn’t been stopped in this city for too long, but he was getting restless.

Especially so, now that he had a clear path to his goal.

Now that the monster that killed his family was within his sight.

Valbar stopped when they reached the main road and looked around. Only the earliest of risers were up and about now, so even this thoroughfare was quiet. A merchant loaded a cart full of wares. A stablehand rushed past with a bag of grain in tow. And there, leaning against a wall just down an alleyway across the street, was the mercenary they had hired.

He raised a hand and nodded when Valbar caught his eye. Valbar nudged Leon – dozing where he stood – and gestured towards him. Barely opening one eye, grumbling all the while, Leon followed where Valbar led.

“Morning,” Kamui said, pushing off from the wall. “All set to leave?”

“Indeed we are,” Valbar replied. “Or at least some of us are.”

Leon elbowed him in the side.

“Right,” Kamui said slowly. “Now. The first half of the pay, if you don’t mind.”

Valbar reached into a pocket of his bag and pulled out a small drawstring pouch. This he tossed to Kamui, who ducked back into the alley before pulling the bag open and inspecting the coins.

“Gold marks, huh,” he mused, holding one up to the light. “You must really hate this guy.”

“Rest assured, you’ll be doing the world a favor,” Leon intoned.

Apparently satisfied that the coins were genuine, Kamui pocketed them and stepped out of the alleyway. “I could care less who I do a favor,” he said. “I go where the money does.”

Leon snorted. Knowing he was about to make some haughty remark or another about honor or some such, Valbar elbowed him, but Kamui either did not notice or did not care. He adjusted his pack and gestured at the road.

“Shall we?” he asked. “Lead on.”

\- - -

They secured passage on a boat with some difficulty. When told where they would be going, most every shipmaster turned them away. Eventually they found someone willing to ferry them – but only only way, and only on the condition that they take to a rowboat once they were within sight of the island. Valbar grimly accepted this offer, and paid the exorbitant fee required; if they were victorious, surely the pirates had a boat they could commandeer to get back to land. If they weren’t, well. They would have no need for a ship.

The three of them were largely confined to one cramped cabin during their time on the ship. Kamui did not seem to be an unkind man, but nor did he seem to be one for conversation. He responded to whatever small talk Valbar made with him, but never with more than strictly necessary. Kamui spent his time maintaining his weapons, eating from his own stash of food, or absent-mindedly whittling. He seemed sharp and quick on his feet; they wouldn’t see combat while they were traveling, but Valbar could tell he would be quite adept when it came to that. The information Leon had picked up had tested true.

Leon himself seemed to be faring well, for all his loud, overzealous complaining about sea travel. Valbar found this reassuring. Leon hadn’t been particularly quick to smile for much of the time Valbar had known him, but recently he smiled often. It seemed to come easily to him. Valbar wouldn’t have guessed it of the young man he’d met five years ago, but he could be positively lighthearted at times.

Now, more often than not, it was Leon picking him back up.

Valbar wandered onto the deck of the ship in the evening, having spend the majority of the day in

Having vengeance to focus on dulled some of the pain Valbar felt – or, at least, it gave it somewhere else to be. The despair was turned partially to rage. It fueled him. At times, threatened to run away with him.

Leon could always tell, somehow, when it was getting the better of him. A well-placed joke, a teasing word or two, a slug on the arm – and Valbar found himself back in reality, back with his closest friend. It was good to have him there.

Victoria. Byron. Ewan. Lorraine. His mother and father.

They weighed heavy on him. Hard as he tried to remember their happy times together, to celebrate their lives rather than mourn their deaths, the pain overcame him frequently.

It had not been long since their passing. He supposed he should give himself time. Eventually, the pain would pass, insurmountable as it sometimes seemed. One day, he would be allowed to remember his family with joy equal in measure to that which they had brought him. He clung to that knowledge. If he could just make it through this, he could carry on.

Not a one of his family members would want him to suffer a moment longer than necessary.

Sometimes he dreamed his wife was asleep beside him. Sometimes he thought he could hear his son’s laughter somewhere in the distance. Sometimes he glimpsed someone who looked like his sister, or who had the same hair color as his brother, or who smiled like his father, or walked with a gait similar to his mother’s. They haunted them, in their own ways. Not maliciously. It was only because he’d loved them so much that it hurt. It was a fair trade. More than fair. He’d suffer it all again just to be able to see them once more.

_I’ll make you proud, Victoria,_ he told the wedding band he still wore – late one night, just as he fell asleep. _I’ll make sure the monster who killed you is brought to justice._

He could almost see her smiling. Could almost feel her hand brush through his hair.

_Take care of yourself first, Val. We’ll wait._

A whisper from a ghost, from the back of his own mind. Something his brain had come up with on its own. But gods, it sounded just like her.

He pressed the ring to his lips and closed his eyes. The rocking of the ship and the breathing of his bunkmates fell away as he slept at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there, for those who didn't hear, i was without internet for a few days there, which is why this chapter is late. the next one will be up on friday as usual. two chapters in one week!
> 
> i've upped the chapter counter from 9 to 12 but i still haven't really figured out how many we're gonna land on. consider 12 the minimum. i'm currently writing 10 and i know for a fact i will need more than two chapters to finish this thing out. it has gone so much longer than i expected already
> 
> i hope you enjoyed! i'm still reeling that this many people are interested enough in this pairing to follow this fic, or even check it out once. thanks and i hope you continue to enjoy ~


	7. Chapter Seven

VC 401

“Valbar. Wake up.”

Valbar opened his eyes to find Leon shaking his shoulder. He sat up in his cot, abruptly wide awake. Belowdecks, there was no way of knowing the time of day, but he suspected it was very early in the morning.

“We’re there,” he said, squinting through the dark at Leon. It wasn’t a question.

Leon nodded. “And our lovely captain would like us to kindly shove off as soon as humanly possible,” he said, “or he’ll throw us overboard himself.”

Valbar laughed. “Fair enough,” he said. “Let’s get going.”

They moved about the cabin, gathering their things. There was no sign of Kamui; doubtless he had already cleared out. They didn’t speak more than a few words to each other as they packed.

Once they had packed away all their gear, Valbar suited up.

“Let me help you with that,” Leon said.

Valbar could have handled it himself, but he let Leon help him secure the various plates of his armor, and didn’t protest when he insisted on double-checking to make sure all the straps were sufficiently tightened. Though Leon maintained a calm demeanor all the while – he even hummed as he worked – Valbar could see his hands shaking.

“You okay?” Valbar murmured.

“Of course,” Leon said lightly.

After a while, Leon seemed satisfied that his armor was ready. He rested one hand in the middle of Valbar’s breastplate for a moment, and nodded. “There you go, friend,” he said.

“Hey,” Valbar said once Leon stepped back, “Gonna need you watching my back. Don’t let me down.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Leon replied easily. He turned on his heel and walked a few steps away, tying his hair back from his face. “You watch mine as well.”

“Will do.”

Together, they made their way up to the deck. Kamui was waiting there, facing out over the water towards the rising sun. He turned as they approached.

“Ready?” He asked. “We’ve got a bit of a trip ahead of us still.”

“As I’ll ever be,” Leon muttered.

Valbar nodded wordlessly, gripping his lance harder. His heart was beginning to pound, his hands to grow cold. It was close. It was soon.

The captain remained in his cabin as the three of them readied the rowboat, exiting only to lower them to the water. He did so grimly, with a dark frown on his face.

“Your funeral,” he said, and let them down.

Leon saluted up at him with sarcastic relish. Valbar took up the oars. He narrowed his eyes, looking over the water.

He could barely see the tiny island in the distance. It would take them a long time to reach it. Once they landed, they would have little time to recover. They would be immediately visible. No time to prepare, nowhere to hide. An approach as brash as this one was incredibly risky.

The odds were against him, surely.

But whichever way this fight went, he would be satisfied.

There was a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head only slightly, not taking his eyes off his destination.

“Valbar,” Leon said. “I can take over a while if you get tired.”

“No need,” Valbar grunted.  
“You don’t want to wear yourself out before we even get there.”

“I’m fine.”

It came out a little harsher than he intended. But it had the desired effect. Leon did not pursue the point.

It wasn’t much farther, anyway. Valbar wouldn’t even break a sweat.

The sun rose steadily as he drew closer to the pirate’s throne. The sound of the waves became a low roar in the back of his mind. He was conscious only of his breathing, the movement of his arms, the beating of his heart.

Closer. Closer.

_I’m coming, Victoria._

He pulled into the shallows, as far out of sight of the outpost as he could manage on the tiny island. The boat rocked slightly as Leon jumped into the water, walking out in front to help tow them ashore. Valbar could feel him trying to catch his eye, but looked instead towards the pirate’s flag, floating lazily on the breeze. He climbed out of the rowboat and his feet sank into the sand.

“Quiet over there,” Kamui breathed, hopping out behind him. “Not too many people here at the moment. Look – no boats docked.”

He gestured at the small port a little ways down the beach. “Must be out… doing what they do.”

Valbar clenched his fist on his lance. Some other unsuspecting family might be torn apart today. Some other father’s son might be killed. Noble, brave, innocent people might lose their lives.

He would do what little he could to stop that from happening again. Too little, too late to save his own family. Too late for whoever it was the pirates decided were worth attacking today.

But perhaps, for those they might have planned on attacking tomorrow…

Leon placed one hand on Valbar’s arm. He frowned hard and brought himself back to the moment again. He acknowledged Leon with a nod. Leon withdrew his hand and readied his bow.

“You said ‘not too many’ people,” Valbar repeated. “So you can see there are some?”

“Oh, yeah,” Kamui said. “They’ve left some fires burning. If you listen – you can hear someone chopping wood. There’s some people still here.”

He raised his eyebrows at Valbar. “No guarantees the guy you’re looking for is with them,” he said. “You still wanna get in there now? Or do you wanna wait until we can know for sure?”

“All of them are involved,” Leon said, before Valbar could even open his mouth. “They’re all responsible. Besides, they’ve for sure seen us. There’s nowhere to hide.”

Valbar nodded at him.

“All right. You’re the boss,” Kamui mumbled. “Not gonna talk you out of it.”

They approached the camp from the side and walked around to the front – unfortunately their only course of action, as it was surrounded on three sides by walls.

Valbar moved forward undaunted by the openness of his approach. His heart was pounding in his ears. The people who had destroyed his hometown, who had taken his family’s lives… they were close at hand. He had no thought for propriety any longer.

“BARTH!” he bellowed. “SHOW YOURSELF!”

Leon made a quiet, wincing noise. Valbar heard the creaking of his bowstring. Kamui had left their side. Valbar scarcely noticed.

There was a moment of stillness. The wood-chopping they had heard earlier had ceased. Then, more subtly, the sound of footfalls approaching reached Valbar’s ears.

He grinned.

“Get ready, Leon,” he muttered.

“Gotcha.”

The first of them – a stocky, muscular man with an axe in hand – emerged from behind the walls. He squinted at them from across the yard.

“Who’s that?” he called out, his voice a deep growl.

Valbar raised a fist and placed it against his chest. “My name is Valbar,” he shouted back. “Your people raided my hometown three months ago.”

The pirate’s demeanor changed. He raised his eyebrows, leaned on his axe, and placed his free hand on his hip. “That so,” he said idly. “You’ll have to refresh my memory. Which town are ya talkin’ about?”

His detached tone renewed Valbar’s fury. He started forward, only to be stopped by Leon, who grabbed his arm and held on tight. Valbar shook him off.

“Silvan,” he growled.

“_Silvan_,” the pirate said back. “Hmm… it doesn’t ring a bell.”

“You bastards destroyed it,” Valbar snarled. His blood was running hot and cold at the same time. He trembled with it. “You monsters burned it to the ground and took everything worth taking.”

The pirate spat on the ground. He grinned at Valbar.

“We do that to a lotta towns,” he shrugged. “They start t’ run together, y’know. After the first ten or so.”

He picked his axe up and hefted it in his hand. “So,” he called. “You another one here to try and bring me back to your righteous path? You here to be a hero?”

“Are you Barth?” Valbar demanded.

“I am indeed.” The pirate inclined his head, and took a step forward.

Valbar held his lance so tightly that it hurt.

“Then no,” he growled. “No second chances for you. You’ll answer for what you’ve done with your death alone.”

Barth grinned anew, splitting his sun-weathered face wide. He spun his axe around one hand and raised the other high over his head.

“So be it!” he crowed, and lowered his hand sharply.

Valbar heard only a wordless shout from Leon before he was shoved forward. When he looked behind him, he found an arrow, embedded and trembling in the ground inches from where he had just been standing. Leon was already aiming a return shot off into the woods, which he loosed just as Valbar looked.

“You mind yourself,” he called out. “I’ve got your back, you’ve got mine, remember?”

Valbar nodded and turned his attention back to Barth – but the pirate leader was no longer in sight. Instead, his subordinates now exited their outpost through the gap he’d been standing in, jeering, weapons ready. Twenty or so of them. More than Valbar had expected.

He gritted his teeth and grinned back at them.

Nothing he couldn’t handle.

He charged forward and almost immediately caught one of them under one raised arm with his lance. Wounded, but far from mortally, the pirate staggered back a few steps, and was replaced by two more. Valbar rammed one of them as hard as he could with his shield and struck the other with the bloodied blade of his weapon. The first fell to the ground, momentarily stunned, while the other, laughing, struck at the shaft of Valbar’s lance with his axe.

The wood resonated with the blow, but Valbar kept a hold of it and retaliated quickly, jabbing at the pirate’s ribs. He stumbled, gasping, and suddenly there was an arrow protruding from his neck. Gurgling, the pirate fell – only to be replaced by still more of his fellows.

Just ahead of him, Valbar could see Kamui darting through the crowd, taking out a pirate here and there as he went, deftly dodging their attacks. More of Leon’s arrows thinned their number further – but there were still so many. More and more seemed to come from nowhere. Sturdy as his armor was, Valbar found himself slowing from the many blows they rained down upon him. His breathing was heavy. He was out of practice, and there were so many of them…

“Valbar!”

Leon’s voice was much closer at hand than he had expected. He glanced over his shoulder, shield readied, just in time for Leon to plant one hand on his back.

“Look!”

Valbar looked where Leon was pointing.

A ship was drawing near to the shore. It had approached without them noticing, but was now so close that its occupants had to have sighted them.

“Shit,” Valbar grunted. “_More_ of them?”

Leon pressed his back against Valbar’s, bow ready. “Perhaps not,” he said. “They fly no flag. Not that that means anything.”

Valbar planted his shield into the ground on Leon’s left, stopping one of the pirates from hitting him with a mere moment to spare.

“Hey, Valbar,” Kamui called out from somewhere. “We might wanna clear out, this is gettin’ too big for us to handle.”

“Run if you want,” Valbar hissed through his teeth. “I’ll go out fighting before I follow.”

Leon laughed and gently rapped one fist on Valbar’s armor. “Myself as well,” he said easily.

“Leon – get out of here. Go on.”

Leon scoffed. His bowstring twanged and another pirate fell.

“Your cause is my own, remember?” he asked. “You’re not getting rid of me _now,_ old friend.”

He pushed off from Valbar’s back and spun one way, then the other, firing arrows faster than Valbar could track, his dark purple battle dress flaring around him.

Valbar felt his strength come back. Perhaps just for the moment, but perhaps it could be enough. Enough to find Barth, wherever the cowardly rat was hiding, and snuff him out.

With a roar that shook his ribs, he charged forward again. The pirates fell against his shield and toppled to the ground like they weighed nothing at all. He slashed at them as he passed them over, finishing some and severely wounding others, leaving them choking on their own blood. Still more fell upon him, broke themselves against him. He found himself amidst a sea of them, fallen and fighting alike, holding his ground, so lost in the fighting that he let his awareness slip.

A frantic shout from Leon grabbed his attention – and he snapped his head around to look, only to find a madly-cackling pirate with an axe raised high, poised to strike.

But before Valbar could raise his shield, the pirate was engulfed in a burst of flame. He fell, screaming, at Valbar’s feet. Valbar stepped back reflexively, stunned.

“Are you all right?” a woman’s voice called out.

Valbar looked beyond the smoldering body of the pirate, toward the harbor. The boat had docked while his attention had been elsewhere, and its occupants had disembarked. There were only five of them, and at the front of their group stood a young girl with bright red hair. Her gloved hand was raised in Valbar’s direction, and her face the picture of determination.

Far too young to be in a place like this.

Valbar shook himself.

“I’m fine, miss,” he called back. “You all had best keep back. It’s dangerous.”

With that, he turned away from her and back to the remaining pirates. Their numbers were certainly thinned now, and their ranks more scattered. Many of those who still stood were dragging themselves back toward the cover of the walls. Whatever group of people that girl was leading, they seemed to be on the same side – even if only for a moment.

The newcomers appeared to have several mages among their small number. Flames, lightning, and the glow of holy magic danced around Valbar as he continued to push his way forward, toward the walls of the pirate outpost. Leon appeared at his side, breathing heavily but still raring to fight.

Valbar looked down at him. There was that fire in his eyes.

Leon smirked up at him.

“Tired, old friend?” he asked.

“Just gettin’ started,” Valbar replied.

With Leon close behind, Valbar rushed inside.

It wasn’t a large structure. It didn’t take long to finish off those who had hidden, and nor did it take long to find the room to which Barth had retreated.

It was a small room, piled high with valuables unbecoming a run-down ruin like this one. Possibly the last place a person would expect to find stolen goods, were they searching. A throne of sorts stood among it – a mockery that sickened Valbar to see. Barth was standing before it, idly sharpening a blade on a whetstone.

He looked up at them as they walked in. His jaw dropped open and his eyes widened.

Valbar glared at him.

“Victoria,” he snarled.

Barth’s mouth worked, searching for words, but found none. Valbar strode closer, tossing his shield aside.

“Byron.” Valbar spat his son’s name at the man who had brought about his death. He clenched his jaw so tightly it felt about to crack. “Ewan. Lorraine. Isadora. Allen.”

As he said his father’s name, he lunged forward with his lance. Barth dodged him, staggering backwards, slipping, and nearly falling on the piles of supplies around him.

He heard Leon pull back an arrow. He held up a hand to stay him.

“Barth,” Valbar growled. “Do you know these names?”

Barth glowered back. “What’s it matter?” he snapped.

“They’re my family’s names,” Valbar said. His voice shook uncontrollably as his rage grew. “The names of five of the people you and your _people_ killed when you sacked my town.”

Cockily, infuriatingly, Barth rolled his eyes. He hefted his shortsword.

“_That’s_ what this is about,” he drawled.

“WHY?” Valbar demanded.

The twang of a bowstring snapped behind him. Barth cried out and one of his legs folded beneath him, sending him to his knees. An arrow protruded from his thigh. Valbar shoved the blade of his lance beneath Barth’s chin, drawing a trickle of blood.

“Why did you do it?” Valbar interrogated him. “Ours was not a prosperous town. We had only what we needed, and you took it all and more besides. _Why_?”

Through the obvious pain, Barth still managed a grin.

“Because you weren’t gonna fight back,” He spat. “That’s how this world works. The weak feed the strong. However the strong see fit.”

Valbar pressed the flat of his blade against Barth’s neck so hard he began to choke.

“You really think you’re doin’ somethin’ with this, do ya?” Barth croaked. “You think you’re bein’ noble?”

Leon’s bowstring creaked.

“I’m killing the monster that killed my family,” Valbar shot back. “Nothing more.”

Barth grinned wider than ever, eyes growing round as Valbar gave the lance a quarter turn. Blood began to run freely from his jugular.

“There’s always another one of me, y’know,” he rasped.

Valbar shoved the blade of his lance through the underside of Barth’s jaw and into his brain.

The pirate spluttered and twitched for what seemed to be far too long a time. All the while, Valbar stood over him, watching. Barth’s dying eyes stared back at him.

When Valbar thought it had gone on long enough, he withdrew his lance, pointed it to the place where Barth’s heart should be, and stabbed. With a faint hissing of discarded breath, the pirate, at last, fell still.

There was a distant ringing in Valbar’s ears.

Leon took hold of his arm. His lance clattered to the floor.

“Valbar,” Leon said. “Hey.”

Valbar found himself shaking. He looked down at Leon and it felt like it had been an age since he had last seen him. That familiar face, that man who had been at his side for years now. Valbar felt strangely far from him in that moment.

Leon was pale. He peered up at Valbar with concern clear in his eyes.

Leon furrowed his brow and placed one fist on Valbar’s chest.

“You did it,” he stated. “You avenged them.”

Valbar took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. Now that the heat of battle was gone, he felt frozen.

“They can rest easy now,” Leon said. “You… you did it.”

“Did I?”

The question came unbidden. Leon blinked at him.

“This was the man who led the group that raided your town,” Leon said. “You killed him.”

“It’s like he said, though.” Valbar stared at the bloody mess of a body at his feet. “There’s always more.”

Leon scoffed. “Don’t listen to a word he said.”

He knelt to pick up the discarded shield and lance, handed them to Valbar, and then took him by the arm. Valbar found himself being led away from the corpse.

“He was just trying to sting you on the way out,” Leon continued. “Don’t let it get to you.”

Valbar stared at the ground as they walked. He couldn’t help it. Barth was right. He may have avenged his family, his town… but what of the endless other towns, and the endless other people who thought themselves stronger than others, and who used that strength for their own gain alone?

“You’re too kind of a man, though, aren’t you,” Valbar heard Leon musing through the haze of his own thoughts. “That’s going to bother you for a while, huh.”

Valbar didn’t reply.

“In any case. Keep your wits about you; we still have to deal with those newcomers.”

Valbar nodded and did what he could to compose himself. He flexed his hands at his sides as they walked.

Leon slid his hand down Valbar’s arm. He gave Valbar’s hand a squeeze.

“You won, old friend,” Leon murmured. “It’s over.”

They stepped back out into the light. Valbar squinted over the bodies of the fallen pirates, towards the small party of strangers beyond. The red-haired girl looked sharply up at them as they emerged, and raised a hand to hail them.

“Young-looking, aren’t they,” Leon said.

Valbar let go of his hand to shield his face from the sun. Now that he looked at them all, they _did_ look remarkably young; only one of their number, a muscular, red-haired man with a patch covering one eye, was definitively an adult. The other four people – three girls, one boy – seemed to be teenagers, or even children.

The smallest girl, who had fluffy, ashy pink hair, looked barely older than Byron.

Valbar’s heart sank.

The redheaded girl hurried over to meet them as they moved forward. She smiled, but her eyes seemed wary.

“Hail, miss,” Valbar said, raising a hand in greeting.

“Good day,” she said. “Are the three of you all right? That was quite a predicament you were in.”

“Celica!” called out the girl with pink pigtails, rushing after her. “Don’t just go walkin’ up to them! We don’t know who these guys are.”

She caught her friend by the arm midstep and dragged her back a few feet, glowering at them.

Leon chuckled beside him.

Valbar laid his shield and lance down on the ground and showed the pink-haired girl his empty palms. “We mean you no harm, I assure you,” he said. “You all helped us out of a tight spot, y’know. The least we can do is thank you.”

The redhead – Celica – smiled at her.

“Mae,” she said, gently removing her arm from her grasp. “It’s all right.”

With extreme reluctance, Mae let her go. She did, however, continue to eye them as Celica turned to speak again.

“Anyway,” she said. “We have a cleric among our number, if any of you are injured.”

As if on cue, the smallest girl hurried over, staff in hand. Her brown eyes were wide. Valbar could see her shaking.

“Y-you’re hurt,” she wavered at him.

“Oh,” Valbar smiled. “No – this isn’t my blood. I’m fine.”

Her eyes flickered next to Leon. She frowned.

“You are,” she said decisively. “Let me look. I’ll heal it.”

Taken aback, Valbar glanced down at Leon, who was staring back at the girl with a tight smile.

Only now did Valbar notice the wound on his arm. Blood ran from a tear in his clothes at his shoulder, all the way down to his fingers. Valbar wondered how he could have managed to draw his bow.

“Leon,” he said, astonished. “You didn’t say anything.”

“There wasn’t anything we could do about it,” Leon shrugged. “Besides, young lady – it’s nothing you need to worry yourself over. I can dress it later. Save your energy.”

But the little girl ignored him, clutching her staff and holding it forward, focusing on Leon’s wound. With a gentle glow of green light, the wound closed over.

Leon gingerly moved his arm, rolled his shoulder. Then he swept the girl a deep bow.

“Thank you, miss, for your kindness,” he stated.

The girl giggled nervously and stepped back. Valbar watched her almost hide behind Celica.

“If… you don’t mind my askin’,” Valbar began.

Celica nodded, eyebrows raised in a politely receptive expression.

“…How old are the group of you?” he asked.

Celica laughed. “Oh. I suppose that is something notable about us, isn’t it?” she said. “Well. We may be young, but rest assured we can look after ourselves.”

Valbar gestured to the red-headed man, the only adult in the party, who appeared to be keeping an eye on them from a distance. “He your father?” he asked.

Celica frowned, obviously bewildered, before looking where he was indicating.

“Oh – Saber? Oh, no, goodness, no,” she said, laughing again. “No, he’s – he’s a mercenary we hired. For protection. And he’s done an excellent job of it, as well. We’re very pleased.”

“Protection,” Valbar repeated. “What are you kids up to that you needed to hire a blade?”

Celica pressed her lips together. “Well, to begin with,” she said. “We’ve seen no end of harassment during our time on the water. And I’d imagine there will be all manner of bandits once we begin traveling on land, as well.”

“Where do you hail from?” Valbar asked.

“We…”

“Celica,” Mae said, in a warning tone.

“Mae, it’s all right,” Celica said. “We hail from Novis Island, a little south of here.”

“And where are you bound?”

The girl squared her shoulders and raised her chin slightly, smiling. “The temple of Mila,” she said. “Save for our hired blade, we are all members of the priesthood. Our island has seen great shortages of vital resources of late, and we seek the Earth Mother’s guidance and blessing.”

“Huh,” said Leon. “Novis, you say.”

“Do you know it?”

“Of it. I’ve never been one for sea travel, but my town saw merchants from Novis on occasion.”

Celica smiled and bowed her head a little. “That’s lovely to hear,” she said.

“Temple of Mila,” Valbar said. “That’s a long ways.”

“It’s nothing we can’t handle,” the girl said.

“Say,” Valbar added. “You got room for one more in your party?”

She blinked back at him. Leon threw an elbow into his side.

“You… would come along?” Celica asked, clearly confused. “For what reason?”

“And what’s this nonsense about _one_ more?” Leon demanded.

Valbar put a hand on Leon’s shoulder. He fixed Celica with a frown.

“I’m not gonna let a group of kids go out there alone,” he said firmly. “Not out on a journey like that. It’s too dangerous for even seasoned travelers. Just one mercenary, no matter how good, won’t be enough to keep you safe from everythin’ there is dangerous out there.”

She gaped at him, her composure slipping for the first time. “I… we don’t have… much in the way of payment,” she said haltingly.

“We require no pay,” Valbar put in. “Truly. We have all we need.”

“I, uh,” called a voice from behind him. “_Will_ be requiring pay, if it’s any difference to you all.”

Valbar turned to see Kamui approaching from around the back of the outpost, wiping blood from the blade of his sword. He had a cut on his cheek, and a few tears in his clothes, but otherwise seemed quite unhurt.

“Kamui,” Valbar called out. “So you didn’t cut ’n’ run.”

Kamui rolled his eyes. “’Course I didn’t,” he replied. “Things didn’t get that bad. We had it handled, huh.”

“Easy for you to say,” Leon shot back. “You vanished as soon as things started getting out of hand.”

“C’mon, Leon,” Valbar admonished him. “He was plenty help. He’s earned his pay.”

“Which I _will_ be taking now, if you’d be so kind,” Kamui said.

“Did you look inside the building there?” Leon asked. “There’s plenty in there you could sell for a fine sum.”

Kamui scowled at him. “I’m no thief,” he said. “None ’a that belongs to me. The pay, if you please.”

“Ah, fine, fine,” Valbar said, waving a hand. “Though… Kamui, what would you say you do come along with this group of ours?”

Kamui narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“For five gold marks upon this lady’s safe arrival at the Temple of Mila,” Valbar said.

Kamui scowled at him. “Show it to me.”

Valbar reached into his money belt and tossed him a purse. Kamui caught it, opened it, scoffed, and tossed it back.

“Where do you _get_ that kind of money,” he muttered. “Well. If that’s where the money’s going, I’ll follow.”

Valbar turned back to Celica, who now looked quite overwhelmed. He smiled at her.

The tiny cleric girl was still hiding just behind her. She didn’t look a day over twelve.

“Well,” Celica said, sounding slightly flustered, but keeping herself together well. “If you truly require nothing from us, I see no reason why you shouldn’t accompany us, but…”

She frowned up at Valbar.

“May I ask why?”

Valbar shrugged and sighed. “You’re all very young. I…”

He gritted his teeth a moment before continuing.

“I just can’t let a group ’a kids go on alone when I know the kinda things that’re out there,” he finished. “And to know that you go to seek aid for your home – that’s a cause worth protectin’, I think anybody would agree.”

She nodded, but the frown did not altogether fade. There was a wariness to this girl’s demeanor; she seemed to be no stranger to betrayal.

“’Sides,” Valbar tacked on. “I about owe you my life, I think it’s fair to say.”

“Oh,” the girl protested, waving her hands. “I don’t know about that.”

Leon clapped his hands together. “Well, young lady – miss?”

“Celica.”

“Celica. I hope you have room for me as well – because,” he continued, knocking on Valbar’s armor, “where this lug goes, I go as well.”

Valbar looked down at him. He was smiling serenely at the girl, not looking his way.

“You don’t have to, Leon,” Valbar said. “You know that. You can go back to your life. You’ve already done more than enough.”

“Do you not want me?” Leon teased.

“That’s not it, you know that.”

Leon tossed his hair. “I’m going along,” he said firmly. “I’m not about to make you do all this by yourself. Whatever whim you follow, old friend, I follow as well. I’m a decent hunter, as well, if that’s a selling point, miss.”

Valbar looked back to Celica, hands spread at his sides. “There ya have it,” he said. “Three more protectors, if you’ll have us.”

She pressed her hands together in front of her and smiled – this time, seemingly genuinely. “We’d be very pleased,” she said. “Wouldn’t we, Mae?”

The girl with the pink pigtails walked over and stood beside her, feet planted shoulder-width apart, arms firmly crossed. She scowled up at Valbar. Though she was roughly eye-level with the middle of his chest, he couldn’t deny that girl had a glower on her.

“I _suppose_,” she said. “But if any of you even _think_ about laying a finger on Celica, you’ll have _me_ to answer to.”

With this, turned on her heel and walked back towards the other two members of of their group.

“Mae,” Celica said pleadingly. She looked back to Valbar apologetically. “I’m sorry. She’s very kind, really. Might I ask your names?”

“Valbar,” Valbar said, thumping himself on the chest. “This little guy is Leon. Over there’s Kamui. Our own hired hand.”

“Little guy,” Leon muttered derisively.

She nodded at each of them in turn, with a welcoming smile. “A pleasure to meet you all,” she said. “You know my name – and Mae, she’s the mage who just left. My little shadow here –”

She gestured to the tiny cleric hiding behind her, who smiled meekly and waved. “This is Genny. Saber and Boey are behind us.”

“Good to meet you, Genny,” Valbar said kindly.

She made a sound akin to a yelp and hid herself again. Celica laughed and put a hand on her arm.

“There’s no need to be afraid, Genny,” she said. “These men seem kind enough, don’t they?”

“I suppose,” the girl mumbled.

“I hope we can prove ourselves trustworthy,” Valbar smiled at her. “You ever need help, call one of us, okay?”

She pressed her lips together and nodded.

“Well, that’s all settled, then,” Celica said lightly. “Our group has no plans to rush, so gather what you need and meet up with us when you’re done.”

“Will do, miss,” Valbar said. “Be with you shortly.”

She gave them one last polite nod before putting an arm around Genny’s shoulders and walking her back to their group.

“…What was _that_?” Kamui demanded, before Celica was even out of earshot.

“Oh, what,” Leon sighed. “You don’t see why somebody would volunteer to protect those who need it? You have no sense of honor at all, do you.”

“C’mon, Leon.”

Kamui squinted at Leon. “_That_ isn’t what I said,” he muttered. “Sense of honor is what gets you killed in a world like this one, y’know.”

“A fair enough reason to die,” Leon shrugged.

“You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to, Kamui,” Valbar reminded him. “You can take the marks you’ve already earned and get out if y’want.”

“You’ve offered me double. I’m not a fool.”

“Then all’s well,” Valbar said. “We set out with this lot soon as we’re ready.”

\- - -

As it was already approaching evening, the newly-assembled group decided that they would camp for the night and set out the following morning. They settled in the woods – near the ship Celica’s group had hired, but far enough from the outpost that they could no longer see it. They quickly set up camp and set about making food. Leon chatted with the new additions a fair amount, but his mind was on Valbar all the while.

He’d never seen him as angry as he was during that fight. He’d looked positively unhinged. Leon almost hadn’t recognized him out there.

And the way he’d shaken after the deed was done. The way Leon had had to take him by the hand and walk him back to himself. His heart ached to think of it.

Valbar, for himself, spent the majority of the evening talking with Celica, the red-haired priestess girl, and the red-haired man who accompanied her. Though he was clearly older, and had seen a fair few more battles than her, Saber seemed to respect her, and frequently made room for her in conversation. It came up that he hadn’t been with their group long, which surprised Leon; he seemed to work well with them already.

Leon also noticed Valbar attempt conversation with the smallest girl in the group of newcomers – Genny. She was overwhelmingly shy, however, and Valbar was a large, unfamiliar man. She was polite, but quickly excused herself when he tried to speak to her. He didn’t seem surprised.

Once they had all eaten, Leon pulled Valbar aside.

Leaving the rest of the group to talk among themselves and decide on sleeping arrangements, he led Valbar out of camp and up the nearby hill. Once they reached the top, Leon turned to face him.

“Old friend,” he said lightly.

Valbar smiled down at him, the same as always. It made Leon feel light – but there was also something unsettling about it. How could he be back to his regular, sunny self so soon after what had happened today?

“Leon,” Valbar replied. He stretched his arms over his head and leaned back. “Rough fight today, huh?”

“Something of one.”

“You got hurt.”

“It was nothing,” Leon insisted. “Besides… you had it worse. There’s no denying that.”

“I got through all right.”

“Please. You’re all over bruises.”

Leon glanced at Valbar’s arms as he lowered them. He could see a large dark spot on his right forearm. He winced; he’d taken an axe hit to that spot. It was a wonder his arm wasn’t broken – or perhaps it was, and he was simply hiding it well.

“There’s nothing too bad,” Valbar replied easily. “Nothin’ that won’t heal up with a little magic.”

“It’ll be good to have a healer around,” Leon agreed.

They were silent a while. It was growing dark now, and the moon was rising over the hills behind them. Leon was amazed by the number of stars he could see. The ocean’s waves rushed gently over the beach below them.

Valbar sighed behind him.

“Does she make you think of your son?” Leon asked.

He didn’t reply right away. Leon worried for a moment that he may have overstepped, but Valbar was calm when he replied.

“They all do, in a way,” he breathed. “They’re all young. I see a little of him in all the young people I come across. It…”

His words seemed to catch in his chest. He rubbed at his nose.

“It… hurts a bit, y’know?” he finished. “To know he’s not gonna… get to grow up.”

Leon winced. “I can’t imagine,” he whispered. “A bit, you say.”

Valbar gave a single breathy laugh. “More than a bit,” he admitted. “It… hurts so bad I can’t breathe, sometimes.”

Leon wanted to hold him.

Valbar sat down on the ground, just after the crest of the hill. Leon sat down beside him, not daring to look at him, waiting for him to speak again.

“How are you feeling?” he prompted. “We haven’t gotten a chance to talk yet, with all these new people.”

“I’m all right,” Valbar said – almost dismissively. “You don’t need to worry about me. C’mon. You know me better than to worry too much, right?”

Leon twisted his mouth.

“I suppose,” he said. “Normally.”

“But?”

“But what that pirate said got to you, I know it did,” Leon said. “That nonsense about there always being another of him. About how you killing him doesn’t make a difference in the scheme of things.”

Valbar didn’t answer right away. Leon pressed on.

“You _did_ make a difference,” he said. “You avenged your family. You made it so the monster who killed them would never hurt anyone else again.”

“I did,” Valbar replied slowly.

Leon finally turned to face him, only to find him gazing out over the sea, frowning hard. He took a long breath before he went on.

“But I _can_ do more,” he said. “I _can_ keep going, and finding more monsters like them. And I can keep making sure they don’t harm anyone.”

Leon stared at him. “It doesn’t have to be you,” he said. “You’ve been through enough. More than enough.”

“But if I _can,_” Valbar asked, at last looking his way. “Shouldn’t I do everything I can?”

Leon looked away from him, gritting his teeth in frustration.

“Leon.” Valbar’s voice was low and reassuring. Honest. The man he knew. “Look at me.”

It took a great effort for Leon to obey him. Lately it was hard to look directly at Valbar when they were alone. But he managed it.

His eyes were warm and earnest. Leon couldn’t look at them too long without his heart speeding up.

“I’m fine,” Valbar stated. “Truly. I know I… lost my head in there, a little bit.”

“A little bit,” Leon repeated. “I’ve never seen you like that before. It was… a little bit terrifying.”

“I scared you?”

“I’d call it rattled.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“I suppose I’ve never seen you fighting up close before,” Leon said. “You’re pretty intense when you get going, huh.”

Another small laugh.

“In any case, though,” Valbar went on. “I’m all right. I’ve made peace with their deaths now that monster’s dead too. I was rattled myself, but… now I know what I need to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“It’s like I said. I gotta do whatever I can to make sure innocents can’t get hurt by people like that anymore. I’ll defend whoever needs it.”

He looked down at Leon, an excited glint in his eye. Leon’s heart fluttered.

“It’s just like what I was doin’ in the army,” he said. “I’m protectin’ Zofia and her people. Just now I’ll be doing it more up close.”

Now it was Leon’s turn to laugh. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them, looking out over the water.

“So,” he said. “We’re mercenaries now, are we?”

“Nah.”

“Oh, right, we won’t be getting paid. Are we going to settle down and start a farm somewhere together someday, then? Live off the land and our love alone?”

Valbar actually guffawed out loud at this. The sound was infectious; Leon couldn’t help but join in. He took in the sight of Valbar smiling, his head thrown back, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

And there was that ache again.

“Though – Leon, you don’t need to come along,” Valbar said, once he’d gotten ahold of himself again. “Not if you don’t want to. I know you got a family back home, and I wouldn’t keep you from them. You’ve got your own life.”

“This again,” Leon said haughtily. “I believe I already told you I’m following you wherever you go. It’ll be a lot harder to get rid of me than that.”

Valbar sighed again, and laid down on the ground, hands clasped behind his head. “I suppose it will be, huh?” he said.

“What, are you going to try?” Leon teased. “Truthfully, I will follow you to my death. It’d be easier to do me in yourself.”

Valbar eyed him at this. Leon thought he was about to be reprimanded, but Valbar only chuckled.

“Y’know, Leon,” he began – and his voice was so deep, so hoarse from the shouting of the day, that Leon thought his heart might stop just from listening to it.

“Yes?” Leon yawned.

“I’m… I might not act like it, I guess, but…”

The ocean filled the silence. A firefly flitted past them, settling on the grass beside Leon’s hand.

“…I’m glad I’ve got you here with me,” Valbar said finally. “I’m glad to have you around. I… got a little lost out there. I wasn’t thinkin’ of anyone but myself out there, but you stuck with me anyway.”

He looked almost pained as he smiled up at Leon. “I don’t think I’d know how to do this without ya,” he said. “You’ve really helped keep me together through all this. Thank you.”

This sincerity made it impossible for Leon to maintain eye contact. He did his best to look aloof as he brushed his hair out of his face and looked back to the sea.

“Just returning the favor,” he said, much more softly than he intended.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” he said, waving a hand. “I’m glad to be of help, old friend.”

“Old friend,” Valbar repeated. “How long’s it been?”

“Oh… six years?” Leon said vaguely, as if he wasn’t absolutely sure it had been six years.

“That all?” Valbar muttered. “Seems longer.”

“I was eighteen then, I’m twenty-four now,” Leon said.

“You were just a kid.”

“I was.”

“And me, I’ve edged over thirty without even noticing.”

“Oh please, what’s there to notice?” Leon said. “You look great.”

“Easy for you to say,” Valbar said. “Twenty-four.”

“I’ll be old one day too, and I can only hope to be as well-preserved as yourself.”

“_Well-preserved_, am I?” Valbar laughed. He bumped Leon gently with a fist. “Let’s just give it a few more years, see how you’re talkin’ then.”

Leon laughed as well, and chanced a look over at him again. Valbar’s eyes were closed. He was smiling faintly. The wrinkles on his forehead and between his eyebrows seemed nonexistent in the semidarkness. If Leon hadn’t known better, he would have thought this man positively carefree.

He wanted to lie down on top of him – to be held by those strong arms, against that broad, warm body. He shook the thought away.

“Well,” he said – when he had looked as long as he dared. “It’s getting dark. We should head back to camp, shouldn’t we?”

“Mmh, yeah,” Valbar muttered. He sounded only half-awake.

Leon poked him in the side. “Come on, don’t fall asleep out here,” he said. “I can’t carry you back, you know.”

“I think y’could.”

“I’m so flattered you have such a high opinion of my strength. But I think I would break in half if I tried to carry you.”

“Try it out.”

“Get _up_.”

Valbar groaned and raised one hand. Leon eyed it, sighed gustily, and took it.

Valbar’s hands were much larger than his own. Thicker. More battle-worn. Warmer. They were hands that had helped build a home for his family, hands that had held his newborn son. Hands that had given Leon a small leather bag containing a lock of Nathaniel’s hair – a lock that Leon still carried with him always.

Leon pulled Valbar to his feet with the least possible assistance from the man himself. Once he was up, Valbar was far more inclined to move on his own, much to Leon’s relief – but he did lean heavily onto him, draping one arm over his shoulder.

“Ow – hey!” Leon protested – half in earnest; the unexpected content made his heart rate spike.

Valbar laughed at him. Leon felt it resonating in his ribs.

“I’m gonna be sore tomorrow,” he muttered. “Good luck getting me up and around then.”

Leon groaned. “I can only imagine. It’ll take the whole party to lift you. Mighty warrior.”

It took a little effort, but Leon got him back to camp. The younger members of the group had all hidden away in their respective tents, but Saber and Kamui remained in front of the smoldering embers of the campfire, talking. Leon supposed their shared career path made for some interesting stories.

Saber raised a hand in greeting as they approached, and they waved back, but didn’t stop to chat. Valbar did seem to be truly exhausted, or he would have insisted.

Leon shrugged his way out from beneath Valbar’s arm as they reached their tent. Valbar flopped himself down on the ground with a deep sigh. Leon sat down beside him.

“Ugh, I’m all sweaty,” he complained, pulling his shirt over his head. “Too hot of a day for that kind of fighting.”

“You could go for a soak in the ocean,” Valbar mumbled.

“Much worse. No thank you. I’ll be waiting until we find a river. And I will be complaining the whole time.”

“I look forward to it.” Valbar’s voice sounded far away.

Leon looked down at him. His eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open. His chest was rising and falling with the slowness of sleep.

Bruised and battered, but alive – still alive, still able to smile, to laugh. Still as strong and kind as he’d ever been. The horror he’d lived through hadn’t changed him at all. Leon admired that about him.

Looking at him, peacefully asleep beside him, made Leon’s heart feel full.

Leon lay down on his side, facing him. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //breaks fingers next week is gonna be a fun one guys just you wait


	8. Chapter Eight

_VC 401_

The time they spent traveling with Celica’s group was more eventful than they bargained for. The more time went by, the more it became obvious that there was more to the girl than she let on. Leon had guessed as much, simply from the way she conducted herself – gracefully and politely as could be expected of a young noble, rather than merely a priestess from a tiny island – but couldn’t be sure what precisely she was hiding. He didn’t press the matter, as it didn’t make much of a difference to him, but he had to admit he was unnerved.

Far from the usual array of bandits or roving thieves, their party was attacked by witches and cantors, along with their summoned minions. It took far too much convincing on Leon’s part to persuade Valbar to stay to the back of the party when these magic-users were about. Leon had seen horrible things happen to armored knights where spells were involved, and he knew Valbar had too. But the man was too damn brave for his own good. It was hard to get him to stay back while Kamui and Saber dealt with the majority of the mages, and the kids picked off the rest. Valbar was at least mostly content to fend off the cackling gargoyles and Terrors they summoned, protecting the others until they got close enough to strike back.

Leon, for himself, stayed mostly to the back, taking enemies down from a distance, watching Valbar’s back, as usual. The little cleric girl Genny stayed near him for the most part, and he provided cover for her when she needed to race off and heal someone. Aside from a few close calls, their group made it through their battles largely unscathed. They would travel from midmorning to dusk, and then look for a place to rest for the night.

“There aren’t usually this many Terrors around,” the white-haired boy, Boey, asked timidly one evening as they settled down to camp. “Are there?”

“Why,” Mae needled him. “You chicken?”

“No,” Boey snapped. “It’s just… a little unusual, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Valbar said. “I’ve lived around here all my life, and there’s never been so many.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever even seen one before we set out,” Leon added. “They were just ghost stories where I came from. Never thought they existed.”

Celica’s brow furrowed. She set aside her bowl and shivered, arms crossed. Mae scooted closer to her and wrapped a blanket over both of their shoulders.

“We’ll shove them right back into the ground where they belong, no problem,” Mae chirped. “With me on our side? They don’t stand a chance.”

Leon laughed. “They certainly don’t seem to pose much of a risk,” he said. “Not when there’s a whole group of us.”

“Truly,” Celica said, “we are more grateful for the protection the three of you provide than we could have ever guessed.”

Leon waved a hand. “Mention it not, priestess,” he said. “I’ve longed for this sort of adventure myself.”

“No trouble,” Valbar echoed him.

“My rate might have to go up,” Kamui muttered.

“You hush,” Leon retorted.

Celica smiled slightly.

“In any case, lass,” Saber put in. “It’s not much farther now. We should reach the Temple in a week or so.”

“True,” she said. “Yes… it won’t be long now.”

Saber stood up from the fire and patted her on the head as he passed. She smiled up at him briefly before returning her attention to the flickering flames before her. Valbar watched Saber walk off to the edge of their camp to stand beside Kamui, keeping watch.

Leon finished the last of his food and leaned against Valbar with an exaggerated yawn. Valbar chuckled to himself.

“I can’t help but worry,” Celica murmured, the campfire reflected in her scarlet eyes, “that something’s happened to the Earth Mother.”

Boey scuffed his feet in the dust. “You too, huh?” he intoned.

Celica nodded. “The food shortages all across the country, the increase in piracy, the Terrors… and all these mages we’ve fought… they’ve all been –”

“…Duma faithful,” Boey breathed.

“Yes.” Celica inclined her head. “There have never been this many inside Zofia’s borders.”

“Our country is at war,” Valbar put in. “Rigel has been invading us for years. Longer’n any of you have been alive.”

“It’s true,” Celica said. Her brow furrowed further. “Maybe I’m imagining things.”

“I hope so.” Boey shivered in a sudden breeze, wrapping his cloak closer to himself. “We can’t have come all this way for nothing.”

“These are difficult times,” Leon muttered sleepily. “Sometimes the best we can do is muddle through.”

Genny, who had been silent until now, crouched close to the fire and poked it with a stick. The end of it caught.

“Careful with that,” Valbar cautioned before he could stop himself. She nodded and dropped the stick into the fire.

“We’ll all look out for each other, at least,” she said in her tiny, tiny voice. “Even if that’s everything we can do, let’s still do it.”

“You’re right, Genny,” Celica smiled. “We all will.”

\- - -

The rest of the night was uneventful. They all lay down to sleep, with the adults waking up in turns to keep watch throughout. The children hardly stirred and were well-rested by the time morning came. Valbar, who took the last watch, was up and starting breakfast for them all by the time people began to awaken. Leon woke first, and sleepily sat beside the campfire as Valbar boiled water for coffee. They chatted quietly so as not to disturb anyone, but the rest were awake and talking before too long. A quick meal, a quick drink, and they packed up and set out.

It was a good day to travel; the skies were clear and the temperature mild. They talked only a little as they moved along, but to Valbar it felt as though the anxiety of last night’s conversation had diminished slightly nonetheless. Valbar and Leon hung to the back of the group, watching everyone’s backs, while Kamui and Saber patrolled at the front. The young ones stayed to the center, though Mae seemed displeased about doing so.

“You see that?” Leon murmured.

Valbar squinted, looking where he pointed. At the moment, they were marching across a vast field, bisected by a river and surrounded by forest. It was a fairly wide-open space, without much place for an assailant to hide. Truthfully, Valbar couldn’t see anything – but Leon’s vision was better than his, and in fact better than most people’s. It came in handy when using his weapon of choice.

“I’m not seein’ anything,” Valbar replied, matching his quiet volume. “What’s up?”

Leon glanced at the backs of the rest of the group, and then looked back to the forest. “I’m seeing some people,” he muttered. “Hiding in the forest. Waiting.”

Valbar stiffened. “Should we let the others know? Change course?”

“I think we’re all right for now,” Leon replied.

Even so, Leon slid his bow off his back and palmed an arrow. “Best keep an eye out, all the same,” he said.

Valbar kept a careful watch of the treeline as they moved on. The young ones seemed in good spirits – they chatted and bantered together in a way that seemed contented, at any rate. The adults were all on high alert, constantly inspecting their surroundings.

Celica, as well, seemed to be surveying the field. She looked back and forth frequently; Valbar couldn’t see her face from his vantage point behind her, but he knew she wasn’t letting those sharp eyes rest. She maintained an easygoing demeanor in her conversation with her friends, but he could tell she was paying attention.

Again he wondered what kind of life this girl had led.

Suddenly, Celica stopped in her tracks with a small gasp. She raised her hand and pointed in the direction Leon had been looking.

“Over there,” she said. “Do you see that?”

Kamui clicked his tongue.

“What is it, lass?” Saber asked, walking to her side. He ducked his head slightly to follow her line of sight.

“Across the river,” Celica elaborated. “Pegasi. Do you see them?”

Valbar narrowed his eyes again. On the edge of the trees, a little ways away from the place Leon had indicated, he could just see two small white specks. He would have identified them as birds – but then he noticed their riders, even smaller on the backs of the creatures.

“That’s new,” Leon muttered. “Priestess – I hate to interrupt our walk, but it looks like our pegasus riders may have company.”

Even Valbar could see what he meant this time; out from under cover of the trees, a group of people could now be seen emerging. From their dark clothing and questionable tactics, it wasn’t difficult to surmise their intention.

Valbar gritted his teeth and hefted his lance. He glanced at Celica.

“Priestess?” he asked. “Your orders.”

She looked up at him, wide-eyed but determined.

“We have to help them,” she said. “Don’t we?”

“I tend to agree,” Valbar nodded.

“I’m with you,” Leon added. “You might need to offer Kamui money if you want him to join us.”

“Shut up.”

“You’ve got me as well, lass,” Saber said.

“And _us_,” Mae declared, leaning against Celica’s shoulder. “Let’s go kick some brigand butt!”

Celica smiled. She clenched her fists.

“All right, then,” she said. “If everyone’s willing. Let’s aid those two.”

\- - -

By the time they reached the fighting, the two pegasus riders seemed to be in bad shape. There were two of them – young women, as far as Valbar could discern – and they were surrounded by twenty or so bandits. Their mounts whinnied in panic, frightened so by the overwhelming number of enemies that the riders seemed barely able to control them. The bandits threw ropes over their backs, attempting and in part succeeding to keep them bound to land.

Valbar led the charge as their group drew closer, running as fast as he could in full plate armor. Saber and Kamui flanked him, keeping pace, and Celica, Mae, and Boey stayed close behind. Genny and Leon stayed closer to the back; they were vulnerable in close combat. Valbar preferred it when Leon kept himself out of danger. One less thing to worry about.

The girls on the pegasi weren’t slouches in a fight, that much was clear. One of them – a woman with short blue hair – stabbed her lance straight through a man’s neck as Valbar drew nearer. He fell, gurgling, to the ground as she yanked the weapon free, speckling her pegasus’ white feathers with blood. Her companion, a woman with long green hair, was equipped with javelins; even as one of the restraining ropes found its way around her arm, she tossed her weapon to her free hand before driving it, as hard as she could, into the skull of the man binding her. Their faces were the picture of focus and determination, and they were proficient fighters – but there were simply too many.

One of the brigands noticed his approach and turned around, alerting several others – but by then, it was too late for them to do any meaningful regrouping. Valbar staggered one of them with his shield as the two mercenaries fell upon the group, and then shoved his lance into the man’s gut. He fell, gasping, and Valbar turned his attention to the next one. An arrow whizzed past his head – close enough to startle him – and struck the chest of another bandit.

“Good one, buddy!” Valbar crowed, finishing the wounded man off. He heard a distant sound of acknowledgment from Leon and gave a hearty laugh.

Spells flashed around his head – fire and lightning chasing each other to the center of battle – and blades danced to either side of him. Mere moments after they arrived, a sudden flash of white wings filled his vision as one of the pegasus riders broke free from her bindings. This one – the blue-haired woman – took the opportunity to fly up, as far as she could, right away.

“Go, Catria!” the green-haired woman shouted desperately. “Please! Get out of here! Go!”

The blue-haired woman seemed to have no intention of leaving her. She dived so steeply and speedily that her pegasus’ hooves nearly collided with Valbar’s head. Valbar ducked to avoid them and then focused on the men pinning the green-haired woman’s mount to the ground. The surprise of their arrival had not worn off; between their six and the two pegasus riders, they made short work of the bandits.

The green-haired woman rode into the sky as soon as she was freed, and aided them in finishing off the stragglers. Within minutes, what bandits had not run off lay dead on the ground around them.

“Anyone hurt?” Saber called out, glancing back at the children. “Lass?”

Celica raised one shaking hand. “We’re all fine,” she wavered in reply. “What about them?”

Valbar looked up at the pegasus riders, who had flown a short distance away and hovered a few feet off the ground. The blue-haired woman was not looking their way, but rather over her shoulder; her companion spared them only a small smile. She raised one arm and called out.

“Thank you, kind strangers,” she said. “We greatly appreciate your help.”

“Are ya hurt?” Valbar asked.

“No,” the blue-haired woman said shortly. “Palla. We must be going.”

“Catria, they…”

The blue-haired woman turned her mount around and began to fly off, following the river.

“Catria!” the green-haired woman called out. When Catria did not stop, Palla smiled apologetically at their group.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really must follow her. I cannot thank you enough for your help. We are indebted to you.”

Valbar waved a hand dismissively. “No need to worry about it,” he said. “You just go get yourselves safe, all right?”

“You stick out like a sore thumb on those mounts,” Leon chimed in. “Try to stay hidden.”

Palla nodded once, waved again, and flew off after Catria.

Valbar watched them fly off, and then heaved a sigh.

“That’s done, then,” Leon murmured.

Valbar turned to look at him. Leon was watching the women fly away with the same detached air he always had. None the worse for wear; the fighting hadn’t gotten close enough for him to get so much as dusty. He caught Valbar’s eye and shoved his arm with a smirk.

“Did your good deed for the day, old friend?” he said.

Valbar cuffed him on the shoulder.

“Are you hurt at all?” Leon went on.

“Nah. I’m fine.”

“Are you _actually_ fine, or are you just saying you’re fine so I’ll leave you alone?”

Valbar tugged his helm off and let it dangle from one hand. He raised his eyebrows at Leon.

“Not a scratch on me,” he said. “Promise.”

Leon narrowed his eyes and raised one hand to Valbar’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb.

“Blood,” he explained, showing Valbar the streak of it that came away.

“Huh,” Valbar muttered, scrubbing at his cheek. “Not mine, in any case.”

Leon kept looking at him, in that concerned way Valbar had become so familiar with. Leon would require more convincing, that much he knew. He worried more than was warranted.

“I’m fine, buddy,” he said. “Really. They couldn’t lay a hit on me, not at all.”

“Let’s get you out of that armor.” Leon took him by the arm and led him away from the fallen bandits. The rest of the group followed gradually, and they all settled beside the river, just out of sight.

Valbar unbuckled his armor and lifted it off with a little help from Leon. Once it was off, piled up to Valbar’s side, and Leon was satisfied that Valbar was in fact completely unharmed, he knelt beside the water and splashed some on his face. It was pleasantly cold and refreshing; the heat of battle melted away.

Leon joined him, pulling off his boots and dipping his feet in the river. He lay down on the bank and sighed, closing his eyes.

“So much walking lately,” he mumbled.

Valbar laughed. “It’s almost like we’ve been tasked with walking across the country.”

“You’re so funny.”

“What?” Valbar demanded, laughing.

Leon kicked water at him instead of replying.

They all gathered themselves, washing in the river, resting in the sun, for a while. The children chatted among themselves, the mercenaries talked quietly together, and Valbar stayed beside Leon, speaking only occasionally. Leon was beginning to doze when Celica got to her feet. Valbar looked her way; the way she carried herself, it was as if every motion carried significance.

“Saber,” she called out. He looked at her and nodded.

“Lass?”

“I think…” she paused, pressing her lips together. “I think we should bury them. The bandits.”

“You sure about that?” Kamui asked after a moment. “There’s a lot of them. We don’t want to waste that kind of time.”

Saber thumped him on the back, making him cough, without taking his eye off Celica.

“I wouldn’t feel right,” she went on, a little sheepishly. “Leaving them there like that. I understand they were trying to kill us, and to kill those women, but…”

She trailed off. Saber nodded, sucking in a breath.

“We’ll do what we can for ’em, lass,” he said, his voice gravelly. “I getcha.”

Celica brightened slightly, clasping her hands in front of her chest. “Thank you, Saber,” she said. “I’ll do what I can to help.”

Saber waved a hand. “Don’t you even lift a finger,” he said. “Let us handle it.”

He looked over at Valbar and nodded. Valbar nudged Leon, ignoring his half-asleep protests. “C’mon, bud,” he muttered, standing up. “Don’t make me drag you.”

With some persuading, Valbar got Leon to his feet. Once they were all upright, the four adults made their way back to the battlefield.

\- - -

Leon leaned back against a tree with a heavy sigh. The sun was setting now, but the graves were dug, and the bandits buried. Celica and the rest of the priests stood before each of them in turn, giving them their rites. Leon tried not to pay too close attention, tried not to hear their words. He didn’t have much of a stomach for funerals.

Valbar was standing near the graves as well, talking quietly with Saber and Kamui. Leon focused on him instead – at his broad shoulders, his strong arms, his barrel chest. He didn’t get so overwhelmed by the sight anymore; looking at Valbar didn’t turn him into a flustered idiot anymore – or, at least he liked to think it didn’t. It still made his heart race. There wasn’t any doubt about that. But lately, it was a safe feeling. A feeling Leon could live in.

It was a feeling that reminded him he wasn’t lost.

Valbar nodded at Saber and pulled away from the conversation. He turned around, found Leon, and walked over to him, frowning. His hands were covered in dirt. Leon watched him over, and smiled as he drew close.

“You look tired,” he murmured.

“I am.” Valbar sighed, leaning against the tree as well. He sat down and Leon joined him.

“We’ll rest well tonight,” Leon said.

“Will we.” It wasn’t a question. Leon looked sideways at him. The frown had deepened.

“Something troubling you, old friend?” he murmured.

Another sigh. Long and deep.

“S’pose so,” he said. “Don’t like that these kids are havin’ to fight. We shoulda made sure they stayed back. I don’t want them havin’ to kill people.”

“Celica and Boey are only a little younger than I was when I enlisted,” Leon pointed out.

“And you were too young too,” Valbar winced.

Leon bumped him with his shoulder. “I’m all right, Valbar,” he said. “Those kids made the decision to join in the fighting today. You can try and tell them to stay back, but they won’t listen. Especially not that Mae. Good luck getting her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

Valbar laughed quietly. “No, I s’pose not,” he breathed.

“You can’t protect them all,” Leon said. “You know that.”

Valbar looked at him. There was that pain in his eyes again. Leon felt a twinge of regret.

“You’re right,” Valbar concluded. “I know. I know I can’t protect everyone. I know people are gonna get hurt and there’s nothin’ I can do to stop it.”

Leon’s heart ached for him.

Valbar dragged a hand over his face, streaking it with dirt. His eyes were red.

“I… gotta try, though,” he said. “I owe it to him. I owe him that much. Tryin’ to save these kids, every chance I get. Protect ’em from all that would hurt ’em.”

“Him,” Leon repeated. “You mean…”

“Byron.” Valbar’s voice cracked a little. “Yeah.”

Leon pulled himself closer. He took hold of Valbar’s arm and squeezed.

“You’ve got me,” he intoned. “Right there to help you.”

“I know.”

The smile he gave Leon then was so soft and sad, his eyes so honestly, earnestly meeting Leon’s, that Leon couldn’t breathe for a moment. Trying his best to pretend that he could, Leon returned the smile and playfully punched his shoulder.

“We won’t let those kids get hurt,” Leon said. “Besides, you’ve seen how Saber looks after them. Some mercenary. I can’t believe he isn’t Celica’s father. They even look alike.”

Valbar laughed. “Not quite old enough to be her father, I don’t think. He’s my age.”

“All the same,” Leon said dismissively. “You’re not alone. You never have been, and you never will be. Not as long as I have anything to do with it.”

Before Leon knew what was happening, Valbar was putting an arm around his shoulders. Squeezing him slightly. He started against the touch, but Valbar didn’t notice.

“I know,” Valbar said. “I’m stuck with you.”

Leon’s heart felt ready to explode. His hands were suddenly cold, his mouth dry. Valbar’s arm was heavy and warm across his back. He struggled to collect himself.

“Right,” he said – a little later than the flow of conversation would warrant, a little higher-pitched than he intended. But Valbar only laughed, patted him, and leaned away.

“Honestly, Leon,” he said, tilting his head back, looking up at the evening sky. He smiled down at Leon, looking at him with eyes partly-closed. They caught the orange light of the sunset. Leon nearly had a heart attack.

“Thank you,” he said finally, simply. “I can’t say it enough.”

Leon looked sharply away from him. He felt like his face was on fire.

“Of course,” he said. “I wouldn’t leave you like that. Don’t be stupid.”

Valbar chuckled, and they were silent a while. Leon closed his eyes and listened to him breathe.

Eventually, the rest of the group finished up at the new graves, and they set out again. They didn’t travel very far before settling down for the night. The temple of Mila was still many miles ahead of them, and they would need their strength for whatever the next day would bring.

\- - -

The next leg of their journey necessitated a day or so of sea travel, after which they landed in Zofia Harbor. It hadn’t been especially long since they’d seen land, but all the same, Leon was relieved.

“I don’t want to set foot on another boat as long as I live,” he complained to Valbar as they walked through town.

“You may not have to,” Valbar said. “You’ve avoided it so far, right?”

“Indeed,” Leon said. “You’d better stay on land yourself, then.”

“Oh?”

“If you force me to follow you onto another boat ever again, I may perish.”

“Right, right,” Valbar laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Leon smiled idly and looked around them. He’d been to the harbor a few times, but not recently – not since he had left home with Nathaniel, all those years ago. It was a bustling place, a hub of activity between people from all over the world. People hawked goods both local and foreign, rare and commonplace. Their group was only planning to make a brief stop in the harbor as they restocked their supplies. Leon and Valbar had been tasked with procuring their own food supplies, as they had their own savings, while the others purchased what they would need. It had been a while since Leon had seen such a wide selection of food; the army hardly served such a variety, and the decimated Silvan in the wintertime had had little more than gruel to offer. Leon had been able to hunt some meat to share, but it was never much once it was divided up, and never as tasty as anyone hoped.

But here – here there were spices, fish, meat, fresh fruit and vegetables, even baked goods. Leon was no glutton, but his mouth watered as he took in the sights and smells of the marketplace. And food aside, the clothes on sale at some stalls… Once Valbar had had his fill of adventuring, Leon would have to drag him back here. It had been a long time since he’d seen anything so nice.

“Hey, Genny!” Valbar called out.

Leon looked where he was waving and saw the little cleric girl standing near a baker’s stall, poring over their offerings. She started a little at Valbar’s shout, but smiled timidly and gave a small wave in return. However, she quickly turned her attention back to the pastries.

“She’s still scared of you,” Leon commented.

“Not as much as she was,” Valbar said. “She’s warmin’ up to us.”

“So it would seem.”

“We’ve got a nice little team around us now, huh?”

“We do indeed.”

“Never thought we’d end up like this,” Valbar murmured. “Helpin’ a bunch of priests get across the country. Did you?”

Valbar was still watching Genny, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Leon bumped him with his shoulder to get his attention.

“Shall we?” Leon said. “We’ve got a little more shopping to do before we meet up with everyone again.”

“Right,” Valbar replied, gathering himself. “On we go.”

The crowds they moved through were heavy. Leon took hold of Valbar’s hand as he led the way, so as not to lose him. Valbar barely glanced back at him, then squeezed his hand in return, pulling him along. Leon stifled a smile.

As they neared the center of town, something caught his eye. He looked again and saw a pair of women standing near a stable. They spoke to each other in hushed voices and looked around furtively. Two things were clear about them; they weren’t from around here, and they were lost. He wondered for a moment why they’d drawn his attention – but then he realized he’d seen them before. One with short blue hair, the other with long green hair

Leon smiled slyly at Valbar’s back and tugged on his hand, pulling him to a stop.

“What?” he mumbled.

Leon nodded in the direction of the two women and looked up at him.

“They look like they could use some help, don’t they?” he asked.

Valbar squinted at them.

“They the women from yesterday?” he asked, incredulous.

“Near as I can tell,” Leon nodded. “Shall we?”

The two women looked up at them as they approached. The blue-haired one stepped defensively in front of her companion, the picture of caution – but the face of the green-haired woman lit up with recognition.

“You ladies all right?” Valbar called out to them.

The green-haired woman smiled over her companion’s shoulder and gently pushed her aside.

“We’re quite well, thank you,” she said calmly. “You’ve stumbled upon us again. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to thank you for your help the other day.”

“No need to thank us,” Leon said easily. “We couldn’t very well leave a couple of young ladies in peril like that.”

“You look lost,” Valbar observed. He let go of Leon’s hand. “Wanted to see what more help we could be.”

The blue-haired woman shook her head. “We are quite capable on our own, thank you,” she said shortly. “You’ve done more than enough already.”

“Catria,” the green-haired woman chided. “These men are offering help. We might use it, mightn’t we?”

Catria, apparently without a retort to this question, looked sharply away from the pair of them. Leon thought she seemed slightly less hostile than before, if still just as wary. She looked a little younger than himself, if at all.

“Far from home?” he asked them.

“Is it so plain?” the green-haired woman looked apologetic. “Yes. We hail from Archanea, across the sea. We did not have time for proper introductions when last we met; my name is Palla, and this is my sister, Catria.”

Leon and Valbar introduced themselves as well. Catria did not so much as move to acknowledge them.

“I must ask,” Palla said. “The two of you seem as if you’ve seen your share of combat. I can’t help but notice you’ve both some scars. Are you knights?”

“Palla,” Catria said warningly. “This is our own business. We don’t need to get strangers involved.”

“We are indeed,” Valbar replied. “Veteran soldiers in protection of Zofia.”

“I… know this is a stretch,” Palla said haltingly, pressing her lips together. “But… truthfully, we are desperate. So I’ll ask it.”

She took a deep breath and drew herself up.

“Our younger sister, Est, was taken prisoner by a group of pirates,” she said. “We only have a vague idea of where she might be – we know she was taken by a man named Grieth, who calls himself the King of Pirates, and that he makes his home in the northern part of this country. Few people we’ve met will give us the time of day. Everyone merely shudders when we speak his name, and refuses to say anything else.”

She blinked rapidly and took a moment to compose herself before continuing. “She’s only sixteen. We only want her safe.”

Valbar waved a hand. “No need to worry,” he said gently. “It just so happens I have something of a score to settle with pirates myself.”

Leon looked up at him and found him already looking back, mouth set in a hard line.

“We’re doing this,” Leon said. “Aren’t we?”

“I am.”

“We are.”

“Of course.”

“The priestess is counting on us, you know.”

“I do,” Valbar frowned. “Perhaps…”

He turned back to the two young women. “It so happens we’re already traveling with a group ourselves,” he said. “No – don’t worry,” he added quickly as Palla cast her eyes downward, disappointed. “If you let our group’s leader know what’s goin’ on, she’d be more than glad to have you join us, I’m sure.”

“Join you?” Catria asked. “What kind of group are you?”

“A group of priests on a pilgrimage to the Temple of Mila,” Leon said. “I doubt you could be safer, if that’s your concern.”

“We’ve been with them for the better part of the last month,” Valbar said. “They’re a good lot. You can meet ’em before you decide anything.”

“The people you fought alongside when you saved us,” Palla said, sounding excited. “How many are you, in all?”

“Oh, uh…” Valbar squinted at Leon.

“Eight, counting ourselves,” Leon supplied. “All of us adept in combat. A healer among us, as well.”

“The name of your leader, if you please?” Catria cut in.

“Celica,” Valbar replied. “We can take you to meet her if you’d like.”

Catria stared guardedly back. “Why don’t we wait here for you to come back with her?” she asked – in a tone that would take no argument.

Valbar took the hint. “Roger that,” he said. “If you’ll wait, we can bring her right back with us.”

Catria nodded stiffly and stepped back. Palla smiled apologetically and waved as they walked away.

“You’re big and scary,” Leon commented.

“I suppose I am,” Valbar muttered. “Only fair, with their sister taken by pirates.”

It didn’t take them long to find Celica and the others; within minutes they were already returning to the stable. Celica hurried forward to speak to them, delighted to find them safe and sound. Catria warmed to her quickly, and before long, they seemed to come to an agreement. The sisters turned their attention to their pegasi as Celica rejoined the group.

“They’ll be coming along with us,” she said. “Provided we accompany them to the dwelling of the pirate Grieth and help them rescue their sister, they offer their aid in our pilgrimage.”

Mae whistled. “We’re pickin’ up quite the entourage, aren’t we?” she said.

“More help is always welcome,” Boey added. “With all we’ve encountered already, I can’t imagine what’s ahead.”

“Well, with luck, nothing worse than we’ve already seen,” Celica said. “As we draw closer to the Temple, the Terrors should decrease, at any rate.”

Leon could hear doubt in her voice. He pretended he didn’t.

Celica informed the rest of them that they would meet with Palla and Catria first thing in the morning. Supplies procured, they set out to find lodging for the night.

\- - -

After a few more days’ travel, they reached the edge of the northern desert. The nights were freezing and the days scorching. Leon had never been farther north than the harbor; the sharply contrasting temperatures were not something he was used to. They had to move more slowly through the sands, and conserve their water. The Zofian desert was not a particularly vast one, but it did take a few days to traverse in any one direction. They still did not know the precise location of Grieth’s stronghold, but Saber had been able to use his “connections,” as he called them, to gain a rough idea.

“Once we get close, I think we’ll know,” he’d said. “It’s a big place, apparently. The ruins of a castle or some such.”

Palla and Catria would scout a few miles ahead on their pegasi as the rest of them walked, returning to let them know what they had spotted. Most days, it wasn’t much; a traveling caravan, a group of bandits who jeered at them as they flew by, or nothing but sand.

But on the fourth day of travel, when Leon was convinced he was about to die from exposure, the two of them flew back in a rush.

“We’ve found it,” Palla said breathlessly, eyes bright. “The stronghold. It’s only a few miles ahead. We should reach it within hours.”

Catria said nothing, merely hovering by her sister’s side, looking over her shoulder the way they had come.

“It seems heavily guarded,” Palla added. “They have archers manning the walls; they readied to fire on us when we approached. They may be prepared when we arrive. We have to decide whether we should strike now, while they are still gathering themselves, or to wait until they let their guard down again.”

“We’re going now,” Catria growled. “Est has been in there far too long already. We’re not subjecting her to even one more day in that monster’s hands.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Valbar said. “We’re gonna have a fight ahead of us no matter what, so we might as well get it over with.”

He nudged Leon. “Help me suit up, would ya?”

“When we’re a bit closer, yes,” Leon said firmly. “I won’t have you wearing yourself out before we even get there.”

As they continued along, Palla and Catria landed their mounts and walked alongside the group, discussing the layout of the castle and the tactics they might use to infiltrate it. It was decided that Leon, Mae, and Boey would do what they could to pick off the archers stationed on the walls, Saber and Kamui would charge the doors as soon as they were clear, and the sisters would fly over the walls directly once the threat of archers was largely mitigated.

“I’ll charge in along with ya,” Valbar told the mercenaries. “I can take a beating. I’ll lead the way.”

Leon’s palms started to sweat. He clenched his jaw.

“Sounds good, big guy,” Saber said. “Was hoping you’d say somethin’ like that. Didn’t wanna ask.”

“I’m your shield,” Valbar replied.

Leon blinked. The words were familiar – and not in a good way. Something about them tied his guts in a knot. He pushed the feeling aside.

“More importantly, you _have_ a shield,” Kamui put in. “I can’t imagine fighting with a big hunk ’a metal strapped to my arm.”

Valbar laughed. The discussion continued on. Leon felt uncharacteristically detached from it. He found himself gazing out over the sweeping sands, looking at nothing in particular. He couldn’t shake the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

His hand went to his belt, touched the pocket where he kept the bag containing the lock of Nathaniel’s hair.

“Mr. Leon?”

A quiet voice spoke at his elbow. He looked down with a start to find Genny walking alongside him, wide-eyed. Her cheeks were red – probably sunburned. Leon expected his own face looked similar.

“What is it, little one?” he asked her, smiling as best he could.

A smile flitted over her face only briefly before she shyly looked away.

“The two of us are going to be staying towards the back,” she said. “We… we have to make sure everyone else makes it out safe.”

“Right you are,” Leon replied. “We’ll do our usual strategy, yes? You hang back until someone needs healing, then I help you get to them.”

Genny held her staff tightly in her hands. The metal glinted in the midday sun.

“I’m no good at magic,” she said, her voice small.

“What are you talking about?” he laughed. “You’re great at it. You’ve kept us all alive this far. All by yourself, too.”

“I suppose I have.”

She didn’t elaborate. Leon didn’t know what to say, and so turned his eyes forward again. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again.

“I’ll keep Mr. Valbar safe for you,” she whispered. “As best I can.”

He looked sharply down at her. She had her head bowed, looking at her hands.

“He’s very kind,” she went on, “and I know he likes to run ahead without thinking.”

“True on both counts,” Leon said, with what he hoped was an easy, unaffected air. “Reckless to a fault, that man.”

“You two are friends, right?”

“Indeed. Have been for years.”

Genny nodded. When she looked him in the eye again, she looked determined.

“I’ll make sure he makes it out okay,” she stated. “And you too, and Celica, and everyone.”

Leon laughed and slid his bow off his shoulder.

“And I’ll make sure you can get there,” he promised.

\- - -

When they were within sight of the citadel, close enough that they could hear its occupants clamoring about, preparing for battle, they stopped to rest and to equip themselves as necessary. Leon’s battle dress and what little leather armor he wore took little time to put on, and he could do it himself. Normally, he put his own on before helping Valbar with the heavy plate armor he wore. This time, though, Leon moved to Valbar’s side before anything else.

“I can get most of it on myself,” Valbar said. “You suit yourself up first.”

“Let me help.”

Leon knew the no-nonsense tone wasn’t like him. He knew it would make Valbar ask questions. But at this moment, he didn’t care.

It certainly shut Valbar up for the moment, though; he didn’t say a word as Leon tightened the straps Valbar couldn’t reach. Double-checked, triple-checked them. Valbar moved to tighten one on his own, but Leon slapped his hand away.

Once he was certain the plates were safely affixed, Leon took Valbar’s helm in his hands and looked him in the eye. Valbar looked politely confused. His warm brown eyes searched Leon’s face. Leon could see questions just below the surface.

Leon kissed the helm and set it down over Valbar’s head before he could ask any of them.

“Make it out alive, all right?” he murmured simply.

At this, Valbar grinned. “’Course,” he said. “What have I always done?”

Leon shoved his shoulder. “Just make sure you keep doing it,” he said. “You know I won’t forgive you if you die out there.”

Valbar laughed. “I’m not gonna die, bud,” he said. “Don’t you worry.”

Leon nodded stiffly and went about putting on his own armor. It didn’t take long. He slid the thick canvas dress over his head, pulled on his gloves, and was set the leather chest plate over his shoulders.

“Here, let me,” Valbar said then, and helped him secure the leather. He tugged at the straps and Leon feigned a cough.

“You’re gonna break my ribs,” he croaked.

“Oh, hush.”

Leon’s armor didn’t strictly require a second pair of hands. But he wasn’t about to complain. It was a brief closeness, but a reassuring one. Valbar’s hands were strong, and they were – in gesture, if not in reality – making sure he would be safe as possible in the coming fight.

Valbar slapped him on the back. “Let’s march,” he grunted.

Leon followed him to where the others stood, ready to launch the attack on the pirate’s castle.

It was an unnervingly slow approach; the sand slowed them down. But steadily, they made their way forward. Leon was at the back, as had been decided, but he kept his eye on Valbar’s back as he led the group. The sun reflecting off his golden armor was nearly blinding.

Leon’s hands were cold and shaking despite the heat of the day. He reached into the pocket at his hip again, clutching the lock of hair through its bag.

_I’m your shield._

Of course. How could he have forgotten where he’d heard that phrase before?

Leon shook his head and took his hand out of his pocket.

He shouldn’t think about it. He shouldn’t allow it to cross his mind. It wouldn’t happen. They had a group now – all of them worthy fighters. Valbar had survived countless skirmishes with less protection than this. He had all that heavy armor, and he had Leon behind him, watching. He would be fine, Leon assured himself. He would be fine.

A harsh voice called out a signal and the archers in the walls let fly the first of their arrows. They buried themselves harmlessly in the sand fifty feet short of their group. Warning shots, and many of them; a show of might, and of what passed for mercy in pirates. Turn back and ye might yet survive.

Valbar raised his shield high and laughed. “Hah! Do your worst,” he jeered at them.

Leon tightened his grip on his bow and reached for an arrow. They were too far afield yet for him to be sure of hitting anything, but it made him feel better prepared, at least.

They were close enough now that the heat was no longer distorting their view of the castle walls. Leon’s heart was racing already.

“You schmucks ready?” Mae asked, turning around and grinning at Leon and Boey. “You ready to waste some pirates?”

“Please don’t put it like that,” Boey pleaded with her. He nervously adjusted the strap of the shield he wore on one arm. Steel and sturdy.

“Of course,” Leon said, with a smile he hoped masked his unease. “Let’s move.”

With that, the group split off. Moving quickly so as not to allow the pirates time to regroup, Leon ran with Mae and Boey closer to the walls. Leon stopped, took aim, and fired. His arrow found its mark in the chest of one of the archers, who yelped and fell out of his sight. Leon spent no time celebrating; he simply nocked another arrow and aimed again.

The archers had adjusted by now. An arrow struck the sand near Leon’s foot. He held up his shield arm to cover his head as he ducked away. Spells flew from Mae and Boey’s hands as they nearly danced around the battlefield, their lightning and flames striking true – both wounding and blinding the enemy.

A sharp whistle reached Leon’s ear – immediately accompanied by a stab of pain in one leg. He gritted his teeth and looked in the direction the arrow had come from, quickly firing back.

“FORWARD!” Valbar bellowed behind him.

Leon winced. He couldn’t afford to take his eyes off the archers for even a moment. He silently willed Valbar to stay safe.

Palla and Catria swooped over his head, apparently having decided the air was safe enough for them. Leon gritted his teeth, aiming carefully around them as they slashed through the ranks of the archers.

“Take THAT!” Mae crowed, cackling, as she hit one of the archers square in the face with a blast of lighting.

“Good shot!” Palla called down from the wall. She and Catria landed their pegasi and dismounted.

“Is that all of them?” Boey demanded. “Are you safe up there?”

“That appears to be all for now,” Catria replied.

Leon looked desperately over at the wooden door in the wall. It was thrown open and Valbar was nowhere to be seen. Kamui and Saber, however, were engaged with a small mob of pirates just outside it. Celica stood between them, casting flames where gaps appeared.

“Mr. Leon,” Genny sounded out of breath. Leon spared her little more than a glance as she rushed to his side. “You’re hurt a little, aren’t you?”

“I’m fine,” he replied. “It’s just a scratch. Save it for someone who needs it.”

Palla suddenly leaned over the edge of the wall, cupping her hands around her mouth. “There are casters inside!” she screamed. “Many of them! Be careful!”

Leon’s heart stopped.

“The leader’s chambers are in the center!” Catria added as she and her sister resumed their mounts and took to the sky once more. “Approach carefully and mind reinforcements!”

Leon was already sprinting towards the door. Melted, warped metal – horribly burned skin – faces marred beyond recognition –

A deep, dark wound in the neck.

Leon nocked and drew an arrow, pausing barely long enough to fire it at one of the pirates accosting the other three. He missed wide, but drew their attention – just in time for Mae and Boey to follow him up with their magic. Choking, screaming, the last of these pirates fell aside. Saber called out his thanks. Celica, obviously shaken, took a moment to breathe.

“Valbar ran in ahead,” Kamui shouted at him. “I couldn’t get him to stop.”

“_Alone_?” Leon demanded.

“I couldn’t do anything! The man’s a wall!”

“Move,” Leon spat, shoving him aside and rushing into the front entrance of the stronghold.

It was oddly quiet inside, considering the chaos of battle outside. Leon could hear his footsteps echoing against the stone walls, and his heartbeat even louder.

“VALBAR!” he shouted. He didn’t care who heard him. It didn’t matter.

He raced past an open door and heard someone shout after him. He ignored them, rushing ahead, turning a corner, praying he was on the right track.

A man in a blood-red robe stood with his back to Leon in the middle of the hall. He turned around with a start as Leon approached, and grinned, beginning to weave a spell out of the air.

A cantor. Leon skidded to a stop, nocking an arrow and aiming as the spell manifested – deep purple smoke, pulling together to form a skull.

Leon’s strength left him completely as the hollow eye sockets flashed. For a moment, he was blind to all but a searing, stabbing pain in his chest. He couldn’t help but cry out, fall to his knees, clutch at his heart – grit his teeth so hard they felt ready to crack –

But he fought through it. Angrier than ever, he barely raised his head to glare at the spellcaster.

“You’ll have to try harder than that,” he croaked.

The cantor raised his hands to begin another spell, but before he could manage it, Leon was up on one knee, aiming right between his eyes.

The arrow struck its mark and the cantor toppled. Leon got to his feet as fast as he could – but an overwhelming dizziness struck him. He staggered forward, leaning heavily on the wall. But he pressed onwards, praying to whoever might be listening that Valbar had avoided a similar encounter on his way here.

Death magic. It cared not for armor. It had no need to melt the flesh to get at the soul. It permeated, it constricted, it destroyed.

_Valbar. Please._

_Please be all right._

With every step, Leon was afraid Valbar’s collapsed body would come into view. His heart was in his throat; he could barely breathe around it.

He wound his way through the central corridor. He passed several more red-robed figures, though these lay dead or dying against the stones – the wounds in their bodies clearly suggesting a stabbing weapon. Leon did not linger among them.

After what felt like an eternity, Leon found himself at the end of the road. The hall terminated in a wall with a wide double door set into it. Leon, panting, rushed towards it, heedless of the enemies who might be waiting inside, desperate, _please – _

Valbar was there indeed, near one of the walls. He was not standing, but kneeling. His back was to Leon.

Leon stopped breathing.

It took a long, long moment for him to parse the scene before him.

The stranger – Grieth, perhaps – standing over Valbar. Something approaching jubilance in his expression. The blood on his hands.

The hilt of a knife, the hand still holding it, the blade hidden away in Valbar’s body.

Leon saw stars.

Grieth glanced up at him, yanked the blade free, and pushed Valbar aside. With a deafening crash of metal, Valbar crumpled to the floor.

With a wordless, senseless scream, Leon drew an arrow and fired. He missed the monster’s heart, but hit his shoulder – staggering him a moment. It was enough. It was enough. Rage-blind, Leon fired again, and this time he hit the chest. With a gurgle, the pirate fell to his knees. Leon let fly one more arrow, this one piercing his neck. He rushed forward, stumbling, falling, abandoning his bow and crawling forward to where Valbar lay.

There was blood. There was blood on the stones, flowing into the molding between them. It wasn’t his. It couldn’t be his.

“Valbar,” Leon croaked. “Valbar. No. Please…”

Only the feeblest of movements. One of Valbar’s arms moved, shook as he tried to put weight on it.

“_Valbar..._”

Leon pushed with all his remaining strength, helping roll Valbar onto his back. Valbar gasped in pain, gritted his teeth.

“Sorry,” Leon wavered. “Sorry, I’m hurting you, I’m sorry.”

“Leon?” Valbar’s voice was so weak. Too weak. “What are you… doing here?”

Leon shook his head. “Shh,” he whispered. “Don’t talk. Just breathe, all right? Just breathe.”

“Is he dead?”

“Yes. I made sure. He’s gone. He won’t hurt anyone, not ever again.”

Valbar closed his eyes. He was so pale it turned Leon’s stomach. “Good,” he rasped. “Good.”

Leon patted his cheek anxiously. “Don’t close your eyes. Don’t.”

“Leon, it’s deep.”

Valbar opened his eyes and looked directly into Leon’s own. There was acceptance in the straight line of his mouth, in the warm brown irises.

Leon felt tears well up.

“No,” he said. His voice cracked. “No, Valbar, please –”

“Leon. It’s all right.”

“I’m getting this armor off you,” Leon mumbled. His fingers scrabbled at the straps. His hands felt as though they belonged to someone else. “I’m getting you help. You’re going to be okay. Please. Please just breathe.”

“Leon –”

Finally, finally, Leon managed to wrench the straps loose and haul the heavy plate off of him. He gasped in spite of himself at the sight he unveiled.

Valbar’s clothes were oddly clean. Under his right arm, there was the wound Grieth had inflicted; not a large one. Not at all. Not enough, surely, not enough…

But Leon couldn’t breathe while he looked on it.

Valbar coughed. A deep, rattling cough. Blood splattered out of his mouth.

“No,” Leon breathed. “No, no, no…”

He cupped Valbar’s face in his hands. “I’m going to go get help,” he said. “I’m gonna – I’ll –”

He moved to stand up, but Valbar caught his arm. Leon looked down at him, bewildered.

“Let go of me,” he said, trying and failing to tug himself free. “Valbar –”

“Please,” Valbar croaked. “I… I don’t wanna… be alone. When I go.”

Leon gaped at him. He looked so tired. His chest heaved with each breath. His grip on Leon’s arm slackened. He turned his head, coughing again – pouring blood, far too much blood, onto the stones.

Frantically, Leon gripped his hand. “You’re not going anywhere,” he choked, wiping the blood away from Valbar’s mouth. “You’re not gonna die. You’re going to be fine. You’ll –”

“Leon,” Valbar said – and he was almost smiling. “It’s all right. It’s… it’s okay.”

Leon froze inside.

“No,” he pleaded. “No, it isn’t. Please.”

Valbar raised one shaking hand to Leon’s face. Leon grabbed it with both of his own, pressing it to his cheek, fighting the sobs.

“You’ll be okay,” Valbar murmured, teeth stained red. “Thank you. For getting me… this far.”

Leon had no more words. He shook his head, tears pouring down his cheeks, holding Valbar’s hand so tight it hurt.

“I get… to see them all again,” he wavered. The tension between his brows vanished. “My… my little boy… Victoria…”

Valbar’s hand went limp. Leon cried out, pitched forward, pressed his forehead to Valbar’s.

“Please,” he begged. “Please, you can’t go, please…”

“Leon…”

“Don’t leave me. Please. I won’t know what to fight for without you. Please…”

“You’re the strongest man… I’ve ever known.”

Leon kissed his cheek. “I’m not,” he wept. “I’m nothing. Not without you.”

Footsteps approached from somewhere in the room. Leon leaned over Valbar, shielding him. “Don’t touch him!” he screamed. “Leave him alone!”

“Leon!” Kamui grabbed his shoulder. “Hey! Is he –”

“GET HELP!” Leon bellowed. “GO!”

The footsteps retreated again. Leon pulled back, cradled Valbar’s head again. His eyes were only slightly open. He was breathing. He just needed to keep breathing. _Please._ As long as he was still breathing, there was a chance. He could still be all right. He could still…

Valbar coughed. Still more blood.

“Valbar,” Leon sobbed. “Please. _Please._”

“S-sorry.” Valbar’s voice was little more than breath alone. “I’m… sorry…”

Leon gripped the front of his shirt and buried his face in Valbar’s chest. He wept uncontrollably, gripping him so tight he surely couldn’t slip away. “Not again,” he wavered. “Not again… not you too…”

With a heavy thud, Valbar’s arm fell limply to the ground. He felt cold all over.

Leon could do nothing but scream. So loudly he nearly deafened himself. He clung to him and screamed and that was all he was anymore. Valbar was all there was in the world, and he was gone now.

Gone.

“Mr. Leon!”

The small voice sounded so far away. Leon could barely hear it over the blood pounding in his ears.

“Mr. Leon – please – you have to let me look at him,” Genny wavered. “I have to heal him –”

“YOU’RE TOO LATE!” Leon snarled. He pressed himself still closer to Valbar. “YOU’RE TOO DAMN LATE!”

Hands wrenched at his shoulders. Just like before. Just like all those years ago. He was torn away from him, and no matter how hard he fought he couldn’t get away.

He found himself being dragged away. Leon lashed out, twisting and throwing his fists behind him as hard as he could, never taking his eyes off Valbar.

A stunning blow hit the side of his head. Leon stopped in spite of himself, and lay limply against Kamui.

“You let her do her job, dammit,” Kamui hissed in his ear. “Don’t take this out on her.”

Leon watched helplessly, heart torn out, tears pouring from his eyes, as Genny lowered her head close to Valbar’s chest. She knelt where Leon had been; her back was to him now. She urgently stood up, raised her staff over her head, and begin to pray in a rapid whisper.

Pale green light filled the room, falling from Genny’s staff to Valbar’s body. Leon stared blankly at the profile of Valbar’s face, at the blood marring his deadly pale skin. The wound under his arm was plainly visible from here. Deep. Bloody. Deep.

The light wove within it. The wound closed, slowly, knitting the skin back together. The blood remained – so much of it – soaking into the stone floor. Valbar didn’t move. He would never move again. It was too late. It was simply too late.

Leon closed his eyes.

Not again. _Not again._

Genny’s staff clattered to the floor. Kamui released him and rushed to her side. “Hey,” he said to her. “You all right?”

Leon caught himself, landing hard on one elbow. He stared at Valbar, without even the energy to cry anymore. Kamui was propping Genny up now, shaking her a little, calling out to her.

Leon crawled over to Valbar, stared into his face. Nothing. The smile, the warmth, gone entirely.

He rested his head against his old friend’s chest, looking up towards his face.

For a moment, he deceived himself into thinking he saw movement. Not much. The corners of his mouth, his jaw, a muscle below the eye. But no. Nothing. A trick of the light.

Leon knew better than to fight it this time. This time, it was too much to fight.

But then he felt Valbar move. His chest rose, only slightly – but it was enough.

He sat up, hardly daring to breathe, clutching Valbar’s shirt again, looking him up and down. Sure enough, his chest moved again – and again – and now his mouth closed, and his eyes fluttered open.

Leon clung to his collar, his own breathing coming in gasps.

Valbar stared overhead, eyes glazed, for a long moment, simply breathing. Slowly, slowly, he looked around – and eventually he met Leon’s eyes.

Before he could speak, move, do anything at all, Leon was holding him, kissing his face over and over, weeping.

“H-hey,” Valbar stammered. “Leon – Leon, hey…”

A crackling cough shook him. Leon pulled away, covering his mouth with one hand to stifle his sobs.

Valbar pushed himself up to a sitting position and shakily cupped one hand against Leon’s cheek. He thumbed a tear away.

“No – lie back down.” Leon pushed on his chest. “Lie down – you’ll hurt yourself – you’ll –”

Valbar didn’t do so. Leon found himself unable to speak any longer. Instead he let himself fall forward, hanging around Valbar’s shoulders, crying without restraint against his chest. One strong arm pressed against his back, held him close.

“I’m sorry,” Valbar murmured. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry…”

And more of their group had arrived now. Voices shouted out in surprise and alarm, footsteps rushed over to them, hooves clattered onto the ground a little ways off – but Leon paid none of them any mind. He held Valbar so tight it felt as though his bones would break.

Valbar held him in return, rubbing his back, _breathing…_

“Genny,” Valbar said after a while. “Genny, are you…”

“I’m all right,” Genny’s tiny voice wavered in reply. “I’m okay. And you are too, now.”

“Leon.” Valbar gently pried him off, held him at arm’s length, bracing his shoulders.

Leon covered his face with both hands, shaking his head.

“I’m okay, Leon,” Valbar said. Leon nodded, shuddering.

“I’m okay. Look at me.”

Leon lowered his hands and obeyed. Valbar looked so tired. But he smiled when Leon met his eyes. He brushed Leon’s hair out of his face.

“No tears, c’mon.” Valbar almost chuckled at him. “I’m all right, huh? No harm done. C’mon…”

Leon clenched his jaw and took hold of his hands again. He took a moment to breathe, to gather himself. Behind Valbar, Saber was helping Genny to her feet. She was pale, and visibly shaking, eyes shining with tears. Celica put an arm around her shoulders and spoke quietly to her.

Leon shook himself and set his face into a frown. He took the deepest breath he could and let it out as slowly as possible. Steadied, for the moment at least, he pulled free of Valbar’s hands and straightened up.

“Are you in pain?” he asked. Without waiting for any answer, he went about wiping the blood off Valbar’s face.

“I’m all right,” Valbar replied. “It doesn’t hurt. She healed me up good.”

He moved to stand up, but Leon held him down. “Don’t move,” he said. “I don’t want you moving around yet. You’re weak still.”

“And what about you?” Valbar asked. “You look like death.”

Leon glared at him. “Look who’s talking,” he hissed.

He wanted to fall back into his arms again. To hold him, be held by him, to feel the warmth of him, to listen to his heartbeat and his breathing – to have undeniable proof that he was alive. He never wanted to move from that space at his side. He never wanted to be here again. It was too close. It was too close.

Leon got to his feet and immediately stumbled. Valbar put a hand on his hip to stop him falling over.

“You sure you’re all right?” he asked. But he sounded very, very far away.

Leon felt his knees hit the stone floor, and then nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //poses
> 
> hope everyone had a good time this week, see you next one


	9. Chapter Nine

_VC 401_

Valbar looked over at Leon, asleep on the mat beside his own. It was hot out today, even with the temporary shade the group had built. Leon’s cheeks were flushed. Valbar hoped he could take that as a sign that he was coming back to himself.

When he’d fainted back there, Valbar had barely managed to catch him before he could brain himself on the rocks. He’d been scared, he wouldn’t deny it. Genny said she thought he must have had a run-in with one of the death mages the pirates had around. Valbar himself had done so as well. It was not an experience he would care to repeat. If not for them, perhaps he would have been better prepared for his encounter with Grieth.

The two of them were the only ones seriously injured in this raid, against all odds – Genny, who had healed them all, was similarly out of commission, however. Everyone had their share of scrapes, but only himself and Leon had actually been in any danger of death from their wounds. As a result, they were confined to their tent for the day. If Valbar had his way, he’d be up and around checking on everybody – especially Est, the younger sister of Catria and Palla, who they had successfully freed from the pirates’ holding cells in the basement. Valbar had seen her only briefly, but she had seemed in good spirits, if shaken; above all, she seemed overjoyed to be reunited with her sisters. They were doubtless taking good care of her.

He tried not to worry about them all too much. Est had her sisters to look after her. She would be fine. Genny would be fussed over by Celica and the other kids, not to mention Saber, in his way. Leon, on the other hand…

He shifted slightly in his sleep, rolling onto his back, frowning. His mouth twitched. Valbar watched him.

He had never seen Leon that scared. Not since six years ago, not since Nathaniel.

The way he’d cried, clung to him, begged him not to leave. It made Valbar’s chest hurt to think about it. It was something of a guilty feeling. Leon had truly left his life behind to follow Valbar on this venture. He had a family. Back in the army, he had made his share of friends. He had left them all to come along. If Valbar had died, what would Leon have done?

He felt hollow when he thought about his previous conclusion; that Leon would be fine. That Valbar’s death wouldn’t affect him. That he would bounce back quickly and get back on his feet.

In any case, who would take care of him while he did? Their new group would do their part, they would try, but would they have been able to do enough?

Valbar reflected on his rashness, both in this last raid and in all others leading up to it. Truly, he had been thinking only of himself.

He shook himself and pushed up on one elbow, and winced – there was still a deep, heavy pain in his ribs.

He shouldn’t think about the battle anymore. In any case, Leon was alive. They were both alive.

And Grieth, the so-called king of pirates, was dead. By Leon’s hand rather than Valbar’s own, but it made no difference. The man himself and at least some of his underlings. With luck, they had saved at least someone.

Leon stirred again and opened his eyes. He stared blankly at the canvas ceiling for a moment, sleepily getting his bearings.

“Hey,” Valbar said in a low voice. “You’re up.”

Leon’s eyes flickered over to him. He blinked and his mouth snapped shut.

“Valbar,” he breathed, pushing himself to a sitting position. “You’re –”

He cut himself off, clutching at his ribs. Valbar reached over and gently pushed him back down.

“That magic’ll have you pretty sore for a while,” he said. “Trust me.”

He left his hand on Leon’s chest a while. He was so much smaller than Valbar. He had apparently always been small for his age, and that hadn’t changed when he grew to adulthood. Valbar was big, that was for sure – even an above average-sized man looked small beside him. Leon wasn’t all that much smaller than the other two adult men in their group, but somehow he seemed tiny.

Leon lightly touched his hand. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Me? Oh, I’m fine.”

“Shut up,” Leon grumbled. “You were stabbed. You nearly died.”

“I didn’t, though.”

Leon let out an irritated growl and sat up. “Let me see you,” he said. “C’mon. Shirt off.”

Valbar chuckled. “I’m fine, bud, I promise. Genny fixed me up like new.”

Leon winced at the pain in his ribs but pushed through it. Valbar didn’t fight him off. Leon’s hands were shaking as he unbuttoned Valbar’s shirt and pushed the fabric aside. His fingers were cold against Valbar’s skin.

Valbar watched him take a sharp breath and hold it. He ran his fingers slowly along a spot halfway up Valbar’s ribs – right where Grieth had got him with the dagger.

“Pretty big scar, huh?” Valbar asked, twisting to look himself. “Probably.”

“Yes,” Leon replied. He withdrew his hand but did not look away. “It’s… significant.”

“Ah, that’s no big deal,” Valbar smiled. “Looks don’t matter to me. I’m all over scars. You know.”

“All the same,” Leon muttered. “You’ve got another one now.”

He moved away from Valbar now. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on them. He looked pointedly away from Valbar, at the tent wall to his other side.

Valbar buttoned his shirt back up, keeping his eyes on Leon.

“What’s on your mind?” he grunted.

Leon shrugged. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

Valbar squinted at him. “I don’t think so,” he said. “You’re quiet. You’re never quiet.”

“I just woke up,” Leon snapped back. “I’m fine.”

Valbar sighed. Leon didn’t clam up too often, but when he did, there was little point pushing the matter.

All the same, he couldn’t leave it unsaid.

“You can let me know,” he mumbled. “If something’s eatin’ you, I wanna know about it. And I can’t imagine something _wouldn’t_ be eatin’ ya after a fight like that one.”

Leon still didn’t budge.

“You mad at me for runnin’ off?” Valbar asked.

Leon’s shoulders hunched slightly.

“As a matter of fact, I am,” he replied.

Valbar winced. “Thought that might be it,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, Leon. I wasn’t thinking.”

Leon shook his head. “No,” he said. “You weren’t.”

Valbar stared at him. Leon didn’t turn around.

“You weren’t thinking at all,” he said. “Charging off on your own like that. The place was full of mages. I can’t believe you made it as far as you did.”

Valbar had to admit he was right. It had been stupid of him.

“You don’t think about yourself,” Leon growled. “All this talk about protecting everyone, about saving the world or whatever nonsense – you can’t do any of it if you don’t look after yourself to begin with.”

He unfurled slightly, looked down at his hands, clenched them into fists. “I can’t protect you,” he said. “Not the way you can protect me. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I’m not strong enough to keep you safe. I can watch you from a distance, but there’s nothing I can do about it when you go off without me like that.”

“Leon,” Valbar breathed.

Leon held up a hand to silence him. “You have to look after yourself before you can even think about everyone else. What will they do if you’re gone? You ever think about that? If something happened to you, you wouldn’t be able to do anything for anyone. If you die, you’re done. Even if you died for some great cause or what have you, you’re still _dead_. You can’t do anything more.”

He choked. One hand flitted to his face, rubbed at his eyes.

Valbar moved a little closer, mouth agape.

Leon wasn’t quite done. His voice rose as he spoke, shivered with barely-suppressed tears.

“Worry about yourself sometimes, you damn fool,” he wavered. “I can’t go through that again. I can’t.”

Valbar’s breath caught in his chest.

“I’m sorry.” It was all he could think to say. “Leon, really, I…”

“Just don’t be in such a hurry to die, all right?” Leon interrupted.

With that, he stood up.

“Leon – hey, you shouldn’t be up yet –”

Leon wobbled a little, but ignored him; he strode forward and left the tent, the flap swinging shut behind him.

Valbar, lost for words, stared after him.

\- - -

Valbar couldn’t find Leon for most of the rest of that day. When Genny deemed him well enough to move around, he immediately sought him, but he was nowhere to be found in their camp. He tried to put it out of his mind – Leon could take care of himself, the pirates were all gone, he wasn’t an idiot, he wouldn’t walk off into the desert by himself or anything like that – but it proved difficult. He did what he could to distract himself, talking to the others, checking in with them. Unknown to him, Celica and Saber had recruited two more to their group; a mage by the name of Sonya and a mercenary by the name of Deen. He was able to distract himself awhile in talking to them, though neither of them were particularly talkative. Both had apparently been on Grieth’s side, and for the sake of pay in Deen’s case. Valbar made note of this. He didn’t like it. But he wouldn’t interfere. If the two of them were willing to help Celica, and presumably keep the rest of them safe as well, Valbar wouldn’t chase them off – but he would keep a very close eye on them.

He visited with the three sisters as well, and had a much more lively conversation with Est, whose stint in a pirate’s prison seemed to have done nothing to dampen her bright personality. All smiles, she thanked him for helping her sisters rescue her. When Valbar insisted he required no thanks, she waved a dismissive hand and said she was thanking everybody. “You _all_ said that, too,” she grumbled. “You people are all too nice. And you’re all checking on me, too. _Way_ too nice.”

“Est,” Catria said – in the kind of warning tone that could only come from an older sibling. Valbar himself had used it on his siblings when they were younger. He laughed to himself a little in remembering.

He left the sisters to themselves after a little while, and wandered around the camp the group had built up. They’d posted up within Grieth’s castle, which unsettled Valbar a little, but it was better than chancing it in the harsh outdoors. They would have to backtrack some, in order to get back on their path to the Temple, but it wasn’t too much. It wouldn’t be more of a hardship than it had been getting out here, anyway.

He thought of how Leon would complain about the sun again once they set off. Leon burned far more easily in the sun than Valbar did – or indeed than most of their group did. Only Genny seemed to match his sunburns.

Genny. He looked for her, and found her fairly quickly – resting beneath a sunshade in one corner of the room. She smiled up at him as he approached – nervously, but less so than usual, it seemed.

“Hey there,” he murmured, squatting down next to her. “You all right?”

She nodded. She held most of a peeled orange in her hands; she picked at it slowly, and took tiny bites out of each segment. She offered it to him, but he politely refused it. “You eat up,” he said. “You deserve far more than your share of provisions today.”  
“I don’t know about that,” she said modestly.

“I’d have died for sure if you hadn’t showed up. Me and Leon both.”

She shied away a little at the mention of Leon’s name. “He was really angry at me,” she whispered.

“What, Leon? He was?” Valbar frowned. The two of them had always seemed to get along well enough.

“I think so.” She picked at the pith on her orange. “He shouted at me for not getting t-to you fast enough.”

Valbar winced. “I’m sorry about that, Genny. I’ll get him to apologize to ya. He’s rougher’n he means to be.”

She shook her head emphatically. “N-no, you don’t need to bother him about it,” she wavered. “I don’t want him t-to… I’ll just stay out of his way for a while.”

“Honest, I think he feels bad about it too,” Valbar said. “Truly.”

She only glanced at him, but Valbar could see the tears in her eyes.

“He regrets it, I’m sure,” he went on. “I’ll get him to talk to ya. Once he’s calmed down.”

“O-okay,” she stammered.

“He scare you?”

She nodded.

“I’m sorry about that. He’s nice usually.”

“I know.”

“I’ll make sure he knows. You recovering okay? You pushed yourself really hard out there.”

She nodded. “C-Celica and Saber are helping me out,” she said. “Saber built me this little tent.”

She gestured at the shade overhead.

“Keeping cool,” Valbar nodded. “Very good. Saber’s a nice guy, huh?”

“Mhm.”

“And Celica, she looks after you like a big sister, huh?”

Genny nodded. “She… almost is one,” she said. “I kind of think of her like my big sister, anyway.”

Valbar smiled. “Good. It’s important to have people around ya that you trust.”

She nodded again, and put another little piece of orange into her mouth.

Valbar marveled at her. She wasn’t as young as he’d initially thought – fully fifteen years old, though he’d thought she’d looked twelve – but she was still young, and tiny in stature. The battlefield was hardly a place for her, and it weighed heavy on her at times. Celica, Boey, and Mae, for their part, were dedicating some time to learning healing magic themselves, so that the burden of healing everyone would not be on Genny alone, but it was a slow process when they were on the move like this.

Her role was harder than his own. She used the power of her own life to heal others. It was entirely possible for her to reach the limit of that power, even in a simple skirmish, if she was the only one to use it. Valbar knew all too well the pain of not being able to protect an ally. This girl was even younger than Leon had been when they’d met; he couldn’t imagine the toll it would have had on her if she hadn’t been able to save them today.

“I’m sorry too, Genny,” he said.

She looked up at him quizzically. “What for?”

“For running off,” he replied simply. “If I’d been more careful, you wouldn’t have had to rush to me.”

“You were just keeping the rest of us safe,” she said. “Though… I wish you wouldn’t risk yourself like that.”

She looked shyly away, returning to her orange. Valbar nodded.

Just like Leon had said.

“I’ll make sure I take better care of myself,” he promised. “Leon gave me an earful about that as well.”

“He really cares about you,” Genny said. “Have you known each other a long time?”

“Yeah,” Valbar said. “Yeah. He’s my oldest friend by now. We met right after he enlisted in the army, actually.”

“He was really scared,” she went on. “When you got hurt.”

Valbar’s stomach sank. “He really was.”

The two of them were quiet for a little while. Genny kept eating. Valbar looked around the camp at everyone going about their business. Saber appeared to have uncovered some useful weapons; he and Kamui stood together, examining them. Sonya was talking to Celica and the other kids, apparently demonstrating some spell or another. Deen sat in another corner, eyes down, polishing his blade. The three sisters leaned against each other, Catria in the middle; Est seemed to be snoring.

The sun was setting by now, and Leon was still nowhere to be seen.

“I’m gonna go look for him,” Valbar told Genny, standing up. “I’ll bring him by when I find him. You haven’t seen him, have ya?”

She shook her head, fluffy hair bouncing from side to side. “You might ask Kamui,” she said. “I think I saw them talking a bit ago.”

“Right,” he smiled down at her. “I’ll do that. Thanks, Genny. For everything.”

She gave him a small smile. He waved and walked over to where the mercenaries stood.

Kamui looked up at him as he approached, raising a hand and nodding. Valbar returned the gesture as he reached him.

“Kamui,” he said. “You seen Leon around?”

Kamui stiffened slightly. “Last I saw, he was headed up into the walls,” he said. “Real moody. About bit my head off when I tried to talk to him. Thought he’d have gone back to you by now.”

Valbar winced. “Sorry ’bout that,” he muttered.

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter to me so much. But you make sure he apologizes to that girl,” he said, pointing his chin at Genny. “He about made her cry back there.”

“Will do,” Valbar said sheepishly.

“How are you feelin’, Valbar?” Saber asked. “Comin’ back from the brink like that. It’s not fun.”

“I’ve had worse,” Valbar said.

“I think by definition you haven’t,” Saber shot back. “You take it easy, all right? When we’re fightin’, too. You got the rest of us to back you up, remember.”

“Right you are,” Valbar nodded. “I sure didn’t mean to worry anyone.”

Kamui scoffed. Saber wordlessly shook his head, puffed out his cheeks. “Then you gotta try harder not ta,” he said. “It got real grim in here for a while. The kids were carryin’ on like you wouldn’t believe.”

Valbar nodded, uneasy. He hadn’t anticipated that even Saber would have been worried about him. The kids, sure. Leon, of course. But Saber and Kamui? It shook him a little.

Kamui jerked his head toward the door. “He went that way,” he said. “Maybe you can talk some sense into him. It’d have to be you. Nobody else can get through to him.”

“Thank you.”

Valbar went the way Kamui had indicated. The sun was setting in earnest now, and shadows grew long inside the castle. It took Valbar a little while to find the door to the stairs, but he found it eventually, and slowly climbed them, somewhat hindered by residual soreness in his chest. He hoped Leon wasn’t pushing himself too hard; he found himself slowing a little, nearly out of breath by the time he reached the top. A small wooden door stood partially open, spilling orange light onto the steps, giving him just enough to see. A trace of sand blew through as he approached and pushed the door open, revealing the open air above the castle walls.

Leon stood at the end of the wall opposite Valbar. He leaned against the battlements, hair blowing in the wind. Dressed down, no longer wearing his bulky canvas battle garb, he looked even skinnier than usual. His loose white shirt caught the wind as well. He had to be getting cold out here, unshielded from the night air. Valbar wished he had brought something to cover him up.

The door squeaked loudly as Valbar shut it behind him, but Leon didn’t react. He didn’t move at all as Valbar approached, or even as he stood directly beside him, and looked out over the rolling dunes as well.

They stood, side by side, in complete silence, for over a minute. Valbar looked at him out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t move. He simply gazed out at the desert as it slowly, slowly faded to blue.

“Leon.” Valbar finally broke the silence. “It’s getting cold out here. We should go back in.”

Leon didn’t react. Valbar put a hand on his back.

“C’mon,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry,” Leon said abruptly.

Valbar looked at him. He had bowed his head, letting his hair fall to cover his face. His shoulders shook ever so slightly.

“What for?” Valbar asked.

“I…” Leon choked, cutting himself off. “I… took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Valbar insisted. “Not to me. You were scared. I get it. No worries.”

“You really scared me,” Leon admitted. “I… thought I was gonna have to keep going without you.”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t know how I’d do that, Valbar,” Leon wavered. He hid his face in his hands. “I don’t know how to do this without you. If you’d gone, I…”

Valbar waited. If he stopped him now, he might never keep going. He simply rubbed Leon’s back, watching the waves, waiting.

“…First Nathaniel,” he said. “Then you. You too. I wouldn’t have been able to keep going.”

“I…” Valbar began, but found he had no words. A silence stretched between the two of them until Leon broke it.

“There’s… something I want to tell you,” Leon said.

“Anything. Shoot.”

“It’s… something I’ve been putting off. Because I thought I was fine without saying it. I thought I felt content not saying it. But…”

He breathed for a moment. Valbar waited, puzzled. This wasn’t like him. Leon didn’t stifle things. He was outspoken, he was loud, he didn’t mind making himself known. This was different from his sulking.

Leon frowned, searching for words. Finally, he clasped his hands together and bowed his head.

“…Today I almost lost my chance to ever say it,” he went on. “I almost lost you.”

“You can tell me anything,” Valbar intoned. “You know that. C’mon. It’s me.”

Leon pulled away from him, walking just out of his reach, stopping with his arms crossed and his back to Valbar. The very last of the setting sun shone off his lilac hair.

“I’d thought it was obvious,” Leon said – with a laugh in his voice, but a shaky one. “I thought you might have guessed it by now. I never hid it.”

“What is it?”

Leon laughed once. He didn’t look at Valbar.

“I’m in love with you, old friend,” he said to the night wind.

Valbar’s heart skipped. There seemed to be no air in his lungs. He stared at the back of Leon’s head.

“I have been for years now,” Leon went on. “Years. You saved me after Nathaniel died. I couldn’t help it.”

“I’m sorry,” Valbar whispered.

Leon shook his head. “Like I said. I’m comfortable here.”

He turned on his heel and looked at Valbar with half-closed eyes. There was that lazy smile, as it always was when he was trying to seem aloof, detached. But his eyes and the tip of his nose were red. The corners of his mouth wobbled, only a little, not enough that anyone but Valbar would notice. Little tells that gave him away.

“I’m special to you, aren’t I?” Leon went on. Almost teasing, but only almost.

“You’re my best friend,” Valbar breathed. “Truly. I’m sorry.”

Leon waved a hand. “Don’t be,” he said. “As long as I’m important to you, that’s all I need.”

Valbar made an incredulous noise, held his hands out from his sides. “You can’t be serious,” he said. “You’re really… just okay like that?”

Leon shrugged. “It’s all the same, right?” he said. “Either way, after what happened today, you wouldn’t be able to pry me off you. I still get to stay with you, fight with you. Protect you. Just like it’s always been. Besides, what would you do differently if I _wasn’t_ all right with it?”

Valbar frowned hard.

Leon scuffed one boot on the stones underfoot. “Honestly,” he said, the mask slipping a little again, “I’d… be more worried that you wanted me gone.”

“I wouldn’t ever,” Valbar reassured him. “But I… Leon, please understand…”

“Victoria,” Leon nodded. “I know. I can’t imagine.”

“I can’t. After her, I just…”

“I didn’t expect you to. Truly.”

Leon walked over to him again, leaned on the wall beside him, and looked over the rolling dunes once more. Valbar stared at him, astounded, and leaned next to him.

“I’m happy to stay just as we are,” Leon said. He rested his head on Valbar’s shoulder. “Just like we’ve always been.”

Valbar looked down at the top of his head.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Valbar said. “Get your hopes up.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I know there’s no chance.”

Valbar twisted his mouth.

“I just hope that you remember there’s someone still alive who loves you,” Leon said quietly. “Then maybe you won’t be in such a rush to get yourself killed.”

Valbar chuckled. “Believe me,” he said. “I’ve well learned my lesson on that.”

“Good.”

Leon sighed quietly. Valbar felt him shiver. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Let’s get you downstairs,” he said. “You’re not good to be up and around yet. Besides, I know a certain cleric you need to apologize to.”

Leon made a quiet noise. “Yeah… yeah, I do owe her one, huh?”

“Do you ever. She nearly died, y’know. Saving our asses.”

“Your ass, mostly.”

“I’m not the one who gave her a hard time about it, am I?”

“All right, you win. You win.”

They walked on. Valbar’s mind was whirling. Leon had always been a very affectionate person. He hadn’t thought it anything but a quirk, a thing uniquely Leon. To find out now that Leon had been… in love with him, and for years?

It made his chest feel tight.

“I’m sorry,” Leon said as they reached the door.

Valbar stopped, his hand on the wood. “Why?”

Leon shrugged. “You’re speechless,” he said. “That’s not like you. I’ve made things uncomfortable now, haven’t I?”

That matter-of-fact tone again. Valbar cuffed his shoulder.

“Not at all,” he said firmly. “I’m… actually glad to know you’re comin’ clean about it.”

“Oh?”

“It probably feels better to have that off your chest now, right?”

“It does, I suppose.”

“And I’m glad you feel like you can tell me stuff like that. No secrets between us, yeah? Nothin’ that has to be, anyway. You can tell me anything.”

He looked down at Leon and grinned. His violet eyes were still shot with red – though whether from lack of sleep or tears, Valbar could no longer tell. Leon smiled back at him.

“I may not… be able to give you all you want,” Valbar said. “But you’re important to me. And I hope you know that. I don’t… you aren’t less important to me because I don’t feel that way.”

“It’s just different,” Leon put in.

“Yeah,” Valbar nodded. “The same. But different.”

“Right,” Leon laughed. “Clear as mud.”

“You shut up. I’m tryin’a help.”

Leon bumped him with one elbow. “I’m teasing,” he murmured. He nodded at the door, which Valbar still held closed with one arm. “Shall we?”

Valbar pulled the door open and let Leon walk through first. They descended the dark stairs in silence. Valbar kept his eyes firmly on him as they walked.

Today’s events must have been far too close to Leon’s memory of six years ago. No wonder he had panicked. No wonder he had screamed so.

For Leon to have fallen for him, after Nathaniel…

Valbar had seen firsthand how much Leon had loved Nathaniel – had heard many, many stories detailing the reasons why. It had been a lifelong love. Since they were children, Leon had had Nathaniel right by his side. They had grown up together, grown up around each other – trees with a common root. When Nathaniel died, Leon had lost a part of himself – a part he took months, years, to gain back. Valbar had watched him put himself back together, had helped where he could, but… he couldn’t imagine filling the gaps left over.

He half-remembered a whispered nighttime conversation the two of them had had, not too long ago. A sleep-addled question about love and betrayal.

Could this have been what he meant?

Leon reached the bottom of the stairs and looked back at him. He extended a hand as Valbar reached him, which he took with a good-natured flourish as he stepped onto flat ground. This got a laugh from Leon, as he’d hoped.

Without speaking another word, they returned to the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand we've reached the end of what i wrote for nanowrimo! i'm working away at more, because we still need a fair few chapters to finish this out. just a heads up that the next chapter may be late as i am no longer posting from a backlog. follow me on twitter @static-begone for updates.
> 
> see you next time ~ thank you all so much for your kind words and kudos, they really help keep me going. ♥


	10. Chapter Ten

_VC 401_

Leon felt absolutely mortified.

Not by any fault of Valbar’s, of course. Valbar had handled it better than Leon could have ever hoped. But all the same, Leon had opened himself up so completely. He felt exposed. Naked.

He tried to tell himself that it was just Valbar – just Valbar, the man who knew him best of anyone – that at the end of it all, he was still his closest and oldest friend. The feelings he had bared would be safe with him. And truthfully, he had expected no reciprocation at all. None.

But even so, there was still a sense of loss. Even so, a feeling of dread bloomed in his stomach. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had dared to entertain the thought that he had a chance. For as long as he didn’t tell Valbar how he felt, that chance remained. That chance that things could be different. That Valbar might love him back.

He pushed the thought roughly aside as the two of them rejoined the rest of the group.

There had never been a chance. It was absurd to think it.

Valbar clapped a hand to his shoulder, gently pushing him in front of him as they exited into the courtyard. He glanced up at him and found him smiling.

The same smile as always. The smile he had nearly lost forever just yesterday.

How lucky he was to still be able to see it. His heart fluttered.

“There they are,” Mae called out, standing up and pointing. She and the others were seated around a rolling campfire, warming themselves against the frigid desert night. Celica smiled at them as they drew closer. Leon forced a smile in return.

“We thought you’d run off,” Saber grunted.

Leon tried to catch Genny’s eye as he sat down, but she looked shyly away. He’d have to catch her later to apologize. It gave him more than a twinge of guilt to see her avoiding his gaze like that.

Valbar sat down beside him with a heavy sigh. Leon glanced up at him again. Was he looking at him too much? Too little? More than normal? Less? He no longer had any idea.

“How are you two doing?” Kamui asked.

“We’re all right,” Leon said lightly. “No need to worry – your pay is still coming.”

Kamui scoffed. “Right,” he muttered. “I wouldn’t be asking otherwise.”

“I know,” Leon smiled.

Valbar cuffed his shoulder. “We’re just fine, Kamui,” he put in. “Thanks.”

Boey rose from his seat, doled some stew into tin bowls, and brought them over. Leon accepted the food graciously, as did Valbar.

“Eat up,” Boey instructed. “We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow, and the two of you need as much strength back as you can get.”

“’Course,” Valbar nodded. “Thank you.”

Boey nodded authoritatively and walked back to his seat.

Leon hadn’t had the opportunity to meet the new additions to their group earlier – it was embarrassing to think of how hastily he’d stormed off – and so he put his best effort into doing so now, but his heart wasn’t truly in it.

It was foolish to sulk. He knew that.

But he couldn’t help it.

He ate quickly and excused himself to his tent for the night, complaining loudly that he was still near death. As soon as the flap of the tent had closed behind him, however, he let his lighthearted expression fall.

Tears stung his eyes. He scrubbed them away, angry at himself.

He pulled his shirt off and laid down on his bedroll, hiding his head under his arms. He closed his eyes, but despite the exhaustion deep in his chest, sleep did not come to him easily.

“Leon?”

Valbar’s voice whispered through the dark. The tent flap brushed open. Leon didn’t move.

They’d spent so many nights together by now. But this was different. He’d ruined it. He’d changed things in a way they had never needed to be changed.

“You awake?” Valbar breathed. Leon could hear him settling down, so close at hand, near enough that Leon felt the air around him warm slightly. He held as still as he could, even as his heart began to race.

Valbar sighed. Leon turned his head just slightly, just enough. With eyes well-adjusted to the dark, Leon watched Valbar take off his shirt and lie down beside him. The soft edges of him, just barely illuminated by what little moonlight filtered through the canvas, almost hurt to look at.

Leon’s cheeks burned. He had to close his eyes for a moment.

Valbar lay on his back and closed his eyes. His left hand was a mere few inches from Leon’s own. He could easily reach out and touch it, even in his sleep, even by accident.

But he couldn’t. Not now.

He listened intently to Valbar’s breathing. It deepened and slowed as he fell asleep.

Even with that soothing, familiar sound so close by, it took Leon hours to follow suit.

\- - -

Valbar was already gone when Leon awoke the next morning. He stared blankly at the place he had been, a faint ache in his chest.

He could hear the rest of the group moving around outside, chatting to each other and going about their duties. They would be setting out today, for a long haul out of the desert.

From how warm the day was already, Leon judged that he had been allowed to oversleep a fair amount. As quickly as he could, he dressed himself and put on a presentable face. Combing his hair with his fingers, he stood up and parted the tent flap to leave.

He nearly collided with Valbar as he stepped out. Valbar took a step back, grinning. Leon stopped breathing a moment, and quirked his mouth into what he hoped was some semblance of his usual smile.

“There y’are,” Valbar said. “I was just comin’ to wake you up.”

He held a bowl in his hand, which he now offered to Leon. “Brought you some breakfast,” he said. “Eat up. We’re headin’ out soon.”

Leon accepted the bowl – leftover stew from last night, he imagined – but did not start eating right away. Instead he found himself staring wordlessly at Valbar, who was surveying the camp with a slight smile on his face. He’d shaved this morning, for the first time in a while. He looked healthier, more content, than he had in some time.

Leon imagined what it would feel like to run his hand along Valbar’s cheek. He stifled the thought immediately.

Valbar sighed and looked back over at him. Leon quickly turned his attention to the bowl in his hands.

“How you feeling?” Valbar asked him quietly.

Leon shrugged. “Better,” he said. “Not so achey. Yourself?”

“You know me,” Valbar said. “I bounce back quick.”

“Don’t push yourself,” Leon reminded him. “You nearly died.”

“I’m all right.”

Leon punched his arm.

“Please,” he whispered.

Valbar nudged him back. Leon found it extremely difficult to meet his eyes, but he managed it.

He found Valbar smiling at him so softly it hurt.

“I’m okay,” he said. “And I know better than to be reckless out there now.”

He clapped one hand on Leon’s shoulder and left it there a while.

“I got someone who wouldn’t ever let me hear the end of it if I got hurt again,” he murmured.

Leon playfully shoved his hand away. “You certainly do,” he said. “You aren’t allowed.”

“You’ve got my back?”

“And you mine.”

Valbar grinned.

The two of them parted awhile as Leon sat down to eat. He watched Valbar helping the others pack up their things, break down the rest of camp, and pile it all into carts. He joked and laughed with them, once again in the good spirits he had shown so often before the beginning of their journey.

There was that ache again.

Leon forced down as much as stew as he could before proceeding to pack up his things.

\- - -

Leon got a chance to speak with Genny not too long after they set out. They paused for breaks frequently; the desert sun was too scorching to risk pushing themselves long. She settled off to one side, beneath one of the shades they had set up.

Leon cast a glance over at Valbar. He was chatting away with Saber and Kamui, looking like he hadn’t a care in the world.

He didn’t watch him long. Looking at Valbar felt more daring than ever now.

He shook himself and strode over to where Genny sat. She looked up at him as he drew nearer, and he saw her eyes flit around a bit, as if seeking an escape route. Finding none, she fixed him with a nervous smile as he reached her. Her hands tightened on her staff. She had taken to carrying it around with her wherever they went.

“Genny,” he said.

She wordlessly inclined her head.

He sighed and flopped down onto the sand beside her. “This heat,” he complained. “How are you handling it?”

She humored him with a quiet laugh, but still did not speak.

He leaned back, propping himself up with his arms.

“Thank you,” he said.

She looked at him with a start – and then quickly away. “What for?” she asked, her voice tiny.

Leon scoffed. “Please. You know what for.”

Genny fell silent again. Leon closed his eyes.

This would call for a bit more sincerity than he tended to use.

“He’d be dead if it wasn’t for you,” he managed. “If you hadn’t gotten there when you did.”

“Oh.”

“I…” he had to gather himself. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that. When you were saving him.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I know you wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t so scared.”

“It’s no excuse.”

“If I was losing someone that important to me,” Genny went on, voice shaking a little. “I’d get angry too.”

He glanced up at her. She was staring straight ahead. Following her gaze, he found Celica and the other kids, gathered around one of the convoy carts.

Genny’s hands shook on her staff. She clenched them, held them still.

“I’m not gonna let anybody get killed,” she said, voice newly steady. “Don’t worry.”

Leon smiled.

“It’s good to know we’re in such capable hands,” he said quietly.

He stood up, stretched his arms over his head, and sighed.

“Just make sure you don’t get yourself killed either,” he said. “We’d be lost without you.”

“Right.”

With that, Leon strode away. After a few minutes more, Celica called out to them all and they began moving again.

\- - -

Valbar was fairly sure Leon was avoiding him.

It wasn’t a difficult conclusion to come to. Leon had been more or less attached to his side for the better part of the last six years or so. Valbar could rarely turn his head without catching sight of him. As they moved through the desert, however, Valbar found that he had to hunt him down when he wanted to talk to him. At first, he didn’t think much of it. Their group had grown significantly by now. It was easy enough for the two of them to get separated in the shuffle.

It was less easy to ignore, though, when the group stopped for meals. Valbar found Leon seated a few people down from him, rather than at his side. Leon didn’t start conversations with him during meals either, though he responded readily enough when spoken to directly – with the same indifferent smile as always, though now it seemed more contrived than ever. These conversations with him were more clipped and precise than he had ever known them to be before. They shared a tent at night, as usual, but Leon was always asleep by the time he arrived and gone by the time he awoke.

He was probably just tired, though he insisted he wasn’t. He’d nearly died, mere days ago. They’d had a real run of it since they left the army.

But there was also the matter of what Leon had told him that one evening up on the castle walls. Doubtless it weighed on him, vehemently as he might deny it if Valbar were to ask.

He knew he shouldn’t, but he wanted to.

He simply did not know how to proceed. He’d thought that continuing on as normal, as though Leon hadn’t told him, would be what he wanted, but…

Valbar shook himself. No, eventually he would come back. Valbar had never been shot down himself – he and Victoria had hit it off miraculously well – but he couldn’t imagine it would be easy for Leon to just go back to normal after that. No matter what he’d said to the contrary.

At the same time, though, nothing had fundamentally changed. Valbar had meant what he said; Leon was his best friend. He knew Valbar better than anyone. On Valbar’s end, nothing was different.

It would just take time. He was more than willing to wait.

The sun set on their third day of travel. The group settled down for a meal, most everyone complaining about the heat, the lack of humidity, the cold of the desert nights.

Leon took a seat on the opposite side of the campfire from Valbar, between Kamui and Genny. He did not so much as glance Valbar’s way throughout the meal.

Valbar, himself seated between Saber and Boey, did his best to engage in the flow of conversation. He wasn’t sure he was doing so convincingly.

Once the meal was finished, everyone began to depart for their tents. Chatter faded as people bid each other good night and the camp became quiet. Valbar pitched his and Leon’s tent and settled inside. Even as the rest of the camp fell silent, though, Leon did not join him.

Valbar poked his head out and looked around. The embers of the campfire flashed amid the sand, but there was nobody around it. Everyone was hidden away in their tents by now, and some were likely even asleep.

And Leon must be among them, he realized, because he didn’t see him anywhere.

Valbar frowned to himself and ducked back inside the tent. He lay down on his bedroll, hands clasped behind his head.

It shouldn’t bother him. Leon was his own man – and not the scared young one he’d dragged back to life all those years ago. They didn’t have to bunk together every night. Sure, it was a habit they’d gotten into – and unspoken one – but that didn’t mean it had to stay that way forever.

Besides, it was just one night. It didn’t signal some great change in their friendship. If Leon needed space, whatever the reason, Valbar was more than willing to give it to him. He wouldn’t press the matter. He’d take a night alone if it meant Leon would feel better, no question.

Still, he thought – it would be lonely.

It took Valbar much longer than usual to fall asleep that night, edged to one side side of the half-empty tent.

\- - -

It was much more than just the one night, but the first one was certainly the hardest.

Leon had barely slept alone in his tent, fretful as he was about what would follow when he had to face Valbar the following morning.

He need not have worried, though; Valbar was all smiles when next they spoke, and did not address his absence at all. He seemed not to hold it against him. That was good.

It was a difficult place to be. He missed Valbar just as much as he desired to be away from him right now. Going back to normal was easier said than done.

He loved Valbar. It was such a simple fact, but in practice, so complicated. Somehow, the fact that Valbar’s behavior towards him didn’t change almost made things worse. Leon truly hadn’t known what he expected when he told Valbar how he felt, but this almost-nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach certainly wasn’t it.

Now that he knew, Leon felt foolish around him.

But in any case, it would be better for them both if he detached himself for a while, to whatever extent he could. It had to be suffocating for Valbar, having Leon glued to his side all the time like that. Especially now that it was all out in the open; now that he knew Leon had other motives.

He would stay away a while. See if that did anything about how sick at himself he felt.

It had been a lifetime since he’d last spent this much time alone. Valbar – who had clearly caught on to what he was doing – did not chase him down. He spent most of his time with the other adults as they traveled, and checked on the kids when the group stopped to rest. All the while he maintained his sunny demeanor, laughing and chatting away as normal.

If Leon didn’t know better, he’d say he wasn’t missed at all.

Which was equal parts what he wanted, and the opposite.

He remained at the periphery of the group as they continued northward, passing out of the desert at last. He didn’t say much to anybody, not unless they approached and spoke to him directly. He handled such interactions with what he hoped was a perfect impersonation of his usual demeanor, but all the same, he got the feeling that those he wasn’t close to could tell he was acting strangely.

It was not until their fifth night of traveling, though, that someone said something.

Leon had lingered around the campfire after dinner, having volunteered to clean up after everyone. This done, he set about pitching his tent. He did so out of sight of where Valbar camped – once again, as always, in a tent large enough for two. Leon wasn’t sure what hurt more – Valbar sleeping alone in that tent, or the thought of him switching to a smaller one.

He didn’t let his eyes linger. Doing all he could to lose himself in the task of setting up camp, he turned his back on Valbar’s tent.

“Hey, kid. Leon.”

Leon started slightly and spun to face Saber, who had approached him without a sound. Saber raised his eyebrows.

“Jumpy,” he commented. “Something on your mind?”

Leon shook himself and turned back around.

“Not especially,” he said lightly. He tugged at the canvas, smoothing an imaginary crease.

“Huh,” Saber replied.

Leon waited for him to leave. He didn’t. Leon, out of tasks to pretend to perform, glanced over his shoulder at him.

“Did you need something?” he asked.

Saber had his arms crossed. His brows, though mostly obscured by his eye patch, were deeply furrowed.

Leon blinked at him.

“What are ya doin’, kid,” Saber intoned, his voice low.

“Trying to go to bed,” Leon countered. “Being harassed by an old man. Yourself?”

Saber did not so much as scoff at this petty jab.

“Somethin’ happen with you ’n your friend?” he asked. “I haven’t seen you two talk in days.”

“I talked to him yesterday,” Leon said. “Why do you care?”

Saber ran a hand through his hair and sighed gustily.

“’Cause I’ve seen stuff like this happen before,” he grumbled, “and in our line of work, it doesn’t end pretty.”

Leon was taken aback. Saber, noticing this, pressed on.

“On the battlefield, any moment could be your last,” he said. “I won’t say I know anything about the two of you, but anybody can tell you’re close. Whatever little thing it is that’s keeping you away, whatever argument you had – I mean, you saw yourself what can happen.”

Leon turned his back again. His face felt hot.

“You’re right, Saber,” he growled. “You don’t know anything about us at all.”

Saber sighed.

“I can’t make ya do anything, and I don’t intend to try,” he said. “But I know the two of ya care about each other, and I’ve seen allies lost before. I’ve lost some myself. In droves.

“Call it friendly advice from an old man. Make what amends you can before it’s too late, if only so you can say y’tried.”

Leon closed his eyes.

“And, I’ll be honest, kid – in your case, that goes double.”

Leon shot a wary glance at him. He found Saber waiting, looking him meaningfully in the eye. Leon looked away just as quickly.

“It’s none of my business,” Saber said. “You suit yourself. I’ll leave you to it.”

Leon heard him turn on his heel and stride away. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. Saber was little more than a stranger. How in the world had he seen through him, and so thoroughly?

He stepped inside his tent and sank to the ground, hanging his head in his hands.

The worst part of it was that Saber was right. None of them knew how long they had out here. They could get raided by bandits tonight. They could get hurt by accident, or suddenly ill, and pass away quickly. Any of them could die, at any time. Leon knew this; it was the reason he’d told Valbar anything in the first place.

And Leon _knew_ he was being childish. He _knew_ he was being petty, and hurting them both by acting this way.

It was Valbar he was talking about. _Valbar_. Valbar, who had taken so much worse from him than he deserved, from the very day they’d met, and _still_ decided to spend time with him.

Leon ground one fist against his forehead.

He hated being away. Even if it was for the best. This was lonely.

If he was going to suffer anyway, wouldn’t it be better to do so at his side?

Valbar would probably welcome him back. If Leon decided, right this minute, to start spending the night with him again, without so much as acknowledging that he had been gone, Valbar would more than likely let it stand.

Leon rested his head on his knees. For a moment he stayed there, frozen still, at war with himself.

Then, all at once, without consciously deciding to do so, he found himself getting to his feet.

\- - -

Valbar was just beginning to fall asleep when he heard someone approaching his tent. He thought nothing of it, even as the footsteps grew closer, but they proved to be sufficient to keep him awake another moment or two. Eventually, though, they stopped. Valbar closed his eyes.

The night air was quiet and still. Perfectly calm.

“Valbar?”

Leon’s voice. Quiet and shaky – so much so that he could almost have imagined it.

Valbar frowned and sat up.

“Leon?” he whispered back. “That you?”

Silence for a moment, and then a reply.

“It’s me,” Leon said. And then, haltingly, “Can I…”

“Come on in,” Valbar said. “Please.”

Another moment’s hesitation. Then the tent flap opened and Leon made his way inside. Without a word, he knelt on the ground on the empty half of the tent.

They sat in silence a moment. Leon bowed his head.

Valbar felt his heart speed up a little. He waited, but Leon didn’t say anything. So he did instead.

“Can’t sleep?” he breathed.

Leon laughed humorlessly. “It’s been all right,” he said. “All things considered.”

“Ah, yeah. It gets cold up here at night, huh?”

Leon rubbed his palms together. A slight breeze blew through the tent. Valbar watched Leon’s hair drift on it, just a little.

They both had something they wanted to say. Valbar could tell that much. Harder to pin down, though, was how to say it.

A few moments later, Valbar settled on the closest thing to it.

“Hey,” he began. Leon inclined his head slightly. “Did I… do something to upset you?”

Leon froze. He lowered his hands. Valbar watched him.

“No,” he replied, his voice so quiet it was nearly swept away on the breeze. “No, not at all.”

Valbar stared at him, trying to make out his expression in the dark.

“Then… what’s wrong?” he asked. “I feel like I hardly see you anymore.”

Leon remained quiet a while longer.

“It’s my own problem,” he sighed – almost dismissive. “I… suppose I thought it would be easier for us both if I… stayed away awhile.”

Valbar frowned. “You thought –”

“But as it turns out, I hate it.” There was a laugh in Leon’s voice as he looked up at him. Valbar could almost see a pained smile. “It’s the worst.”

Valbar had to laugh himself. “Missed me?” he said.

Leon clasped his hands in his lap and nodded. “I did,” he breathed. “Very much.”

“Hey,” Valbar murmured, reaching over and bumping him with one fist. “Missed you too.”

“Take me back?” Leon whispered.

“Do you even have to ask?”

Leon shrugged. “I was being childish,” he said. “I’d understand if you were annoyed with me.”

Valbar snorted. “C’mon,” he laughed. “You know me better than that.”

“All the same.” Leon tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. He lowered his voice again. “I am sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” Valbar said. “You needed a little distance. I get it. Really.

“Remember what I told you the other day, though,” Valbar reminded him. “You don’t have to hide anythin’ from me. I’m still right where I was. Nothin’ changed.”

This got him a quiet laugh in reply. “I know,” he said. “I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t, all right?” Valbar said. “I don’t think you are.”

Leon took a deep breath. At last, he raised his head. Dimly, Valbar could see him smiling.

“So,” he said, his voice just a little rough, “we’re all right?”

“’Course we are,” Valbar nodded. “Nothin’ to worry about on my end. And you let me know if there’s anything on yours.”

“I will.”

“Now, c’mon, lie down; you’ll need to be rested up. We’re within a day of the temple. Need to be looking your best.”

“Nobody can look their best after camping in the desert for two weeks, Valbar.”

Leon pulled his shirt off over his head and Valbar passed him a spare bedroll. He spread it out on the ground and lay down, sighing loudly. Valbar chuckled at him, sprawled out like that. He seemed exhausted.

Leon didn’t move for a while. Valbar watched him lay there, unmoving. His wiry little body seemed somehow even smaller in the dark. Valbar was beginning to think he must have fallen asleep when he suddenly spoke again.

“I don’t make you uncomfortable?” he breathed.

“What? No," Valbar frowned, taken aback. "Where'd that come from?"

“Are you sure?”

“Leon, would I spend so much time with someone who made me uncomfortable?”

Leon covered his head with his arms. “I suppose not,” he mumbled. “But… you’ll tell me, if I do, won’t you?”

“How could you, even?”

“You can’t tell me that nothing’s changed since I… told you how I felt.”

“Oh, that’s what you mean.”

“Of course it is,” Leon snapped. “What else would I mean?”

“Honestly,” Valbar said. “Nothing _has_ changed. You’re still the same guy I’ve been friends with this whole time. That hasn’t changed. It’s that simple.”

Leon breathed a single laugh. “You’re one in a million, Valbar,” he said. “I’ll… have to try and remember that.”

“You don’t have anythin’ to worry about,” Valbar repeated. “Now get some sleep. You’re worn out.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Valbar lay down on his side, facing Leon. Leon’s head was turned away from him. His hair looked pale blue in the faint light of the moon.

“Thank you, old friend,” Leon breathed.

Valbar felt his heart leap slightly. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied. “What are friends for?”

“Good night, Valbar.”

“G’night, Leon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woof okay we were a little later than normal on that one, but it's still solidly friday where i'm at so i win
> 
> i Still don't have the rest of the story written out (lmao) but i'm now guessing we'll land somewhere around 14 chapters in total. it took me a little bit more effort than usual to get going on this one, so once again I can't promise that the next update will be on time. i'll do my very best, but several factors are working against me.
> 
> check @static-begone on twitter for updates if the next one's late. 
> 
> thank you all again for reading. I hope you continue to enjoy as we coast on into the end. ♥


	11. Chapter Eleven

_VC 401_

The group rose early the following morning, and after a hurried breakfast they broke camp and set out. Leon was right back at Valbar’s side again, as if nothing had happened. Valbar certainly didn’t mention it, and Leon was glad of it. If the others noticed, they didn’t say anything either – though Leon could almost feel Saber’s eye on him as they all moved along.

It was nearing noon when Celica suddenly cried out and rushed ahead, racing to the crest of the hill they were climbing.

Valbar took a hissing breath through his teeth. “Don’t run too far ahead, priestess,” he called after her.

“Stay with us, lass,” Saber echoed – but, ignoring their protests, the other three kids hurried after her, falling all over each other to get a look ahead.

Valbar grimaced and quickened his pace slightly to catch up to them. Leon half-smiled, following close behind him.

“Ah, youth,” he sighed wistfully. “Where do they get all that energy?”

Valbar shook his head. “They just never stop, do they?”

By the time they drew level with her, Celica’s excitement had vanished completely, and was replaced with a wide-eyed apprehension. Shakily, she clasped her hands in front of her chest.

It took a moment to realize what had her so dumbstruck.

Before them was, Leon assumed, the Temple of Mila – but he had the distinct feeling that something was off. No change or harm seemed to have come to the structure itself, but Leon seriously doubted its entrances usually sported barricades.

“It… isn’t usually so heavily fortified, is it?” Boey asked nervously.

Mae grabbed Celica’s arm and pulled her a few steps back from the crest of the hill.

Valbar strode to the front and surveyed the scene. Leon stood beside him, listening intently. The air seemed oddly still. Too quiet, the wrong kind of quiet for a place like this.

“The Earth Mother herself resides here, you say?” Valbar murmured.

“So it should be,” Celica wavered. “So it is supposed to be.

“D-did… something happen to her?” Genny squeaked.

There was an uneasy silence following her words. Leon glanced around at the other adults, hoping one of them would decide what to say first.

“That… would explain the food shortages,” Saber muttered. “It’s too early to panic, lass. We’ll see how things are here before we jump to any conclusions.”

Celica pressed her lips together and nodded.

“You see anythin’, Leon?” Valbar asked. “Any signs of life?”

Leon squinted towards the temple. At first, nothing caught his eye – but then a flicker of movement near the entrance to the temple set him on alert.

He gestured behind him at the rest of the group, dropping to his knees. “Down,” he hissed.

“What d’you see?” Valbar breathed.

“Not sure,” Leon replied, without taking his eyes off whatever it was. “But it’s likely best not to let it see us.”

“It,” Valbar repeated.

As Leon watched, the movement became still more obvious – a figure, he realized; humanoid, albeit hunched and hauntingly gray. It moved uncannily, its gait loping and uneven. A pair of broad, leathery wings spread from its back and it took flight with a chilling screech.

Leon ducked his head below the level of the hill and shoved Valbar’s shoulder. “Get suited up,” he said, keeping his voice low. “We’ve got a fight ahead of us.”

Saber crept up beside him, narrowing his eye. “Gargoyle,” he grumbled. “Might be a cantor in there. Celica – lass – I’ll go check it out. Rest of you hang back. Kamui. Deen. With me.”

“Be careful,” Celica whispered as the three of them moved out. Saber patted her on the head as he passed.

Leon lay down on his stomach to watch as the three of them circled around to one side of the temple. He lost sight of them briefly as they ducked under cover of the trees. The gargoyle swept high into the air and settled down on the peak of the roof, gathering its wings close to itself.

It didn’t seem to have spotted the mercenaries, so for the moment Leon turned his attention to the rest of the group.

The priory kids were circled up together, looking tense. Mae, ever the mood-maker, seemed to be doing her best to lighten things up, but it wasn’t working. Celica’s hands were clasped in prayer once more. Sonya lingered near them, holding her hair away from her face, which was set in a hard frown as she gazed toward the temple. The three pegasus riders were preparing their mounts, but seemed to be in the midst of some sisterly squabble or another, though they kept their voices low.

Leon half-smiled at them as he walked to where Valbar stood.

He had only just begun donning his armor when Leon reached him. He smiled down at him.

“Here to give me a hand?” Valbar asked.

“Should you need it,” Leon replied, already hefting his chestplate off the ground.

“Thanks.”

Leon handed him the pieces of his armor as he needed them, and helped him tighten the sraps once they were all in place. Once it was done, Valbar patted him on the back and left his hand resting there a moment.

“Nervous?” he intoned.

“Only a little,” Leon shrugged. “So long as you keep your promise not to dash off without me again.”

“Trust me – I will.”

Leon looked up at him, waiting to catch his eye. There was that smile – so soft as to almost seem uncharacteristic of such a rough face.

Leon smiled back, that familiar warmth filling his chest.

Valbar looked behind Leon and his smile faded. “They’re back,” he said, nodding.

Leon turned to see that the mercenaries had returned. Celica was already right at Saber’s side, speaking urgently to him. He put a hand on her shoulder, looking grim, but doing what he could to calm her down.

“What’s it look like out there?” Valbar asked them.

Saber nodded over at him, then addressed the group.

“Got a cantor in there, plenty of other mages as well,” he said. “Nothin’ we haven’t dealt with before, but –”

“Who were they?” Boey mused aloud. “Who would… occupy the temple like this?”

Saber inclined his head. “That’s the thing,” he said. “They were wearing the robes of the Duma Faithful.”

Celica gasped.

“So… Mother Mila…” Genny’s voice shook, and she could not bear to finish her thought.

A hush fell over the group. Leon, though not particularly religious himself, shivered at the palpable dread in the air.

Valbar stepped forward, placing a fist in the center of his armored chest.

“No good to despair so soon, priestess,” he said. “All may not be well, but we can’t fear the worst before we see for ourselves.”

Leon smiled at the back of his head.

Celica took a deep breath and collected herself a moment.

“You’re right,” she said. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. With me, everyone; we march in a few minutes.”

The group began milling about, making their final preparations. Leon stepped to Valbar’s side and knocked on his armor.

“Spellcasters,” he murmured. “You’ll have to stay to the back on this one.”

Valbar grunted. “S’pose that makes sense,” he admitted begrudginly.

“You can cover us from the gargoyles, of course,” Leon went on. “But once we get in close enough to hit them, I want you behind me.”

Valbar blinked at him. “You taking point?”

“It helps to be able to attack cantors from a distance, you know,” Leon said lightly. “I’ll hardly be at point, but I’ll be much closer than you should be.”

Valbar frowned. He opened his mouth and closed it again wordlessly.

Leon grinned at him.

“I’ll be all right, old friend,” he murmured. “I won’t do anything stupid. You know that.”

Valbar nodded, then looked at the ground.

“Besides,” Leon said. “I’ve got you watching my back.”

Valbar looked at him again. There was worry in those soft brown eyes.

“Right,” he finally replied, setting his jaw. “Nothin’s gonna touch you, bud.”

\- - -

The fight was not a long one. On a rational level, Valbar knew that. But from where he stood – posted up outside the temple while the majority of the others rushed inside – it seemed to take an eternity.

The gargoyles had been swiftly dealt with; Valbar had staggered them and the mercenaries swept in to finish them off. Though they didn’t stop coming, eventually they wore down their numbers sufficiently that the mages and Leon could slip through their ranks and into the temple. Soon after followed the pegasus riders, and eventually Saber. Shortly after that, the gargoyles stopped coming; the cantor must have been dealt with.

It was worse not having anything to fight. Deen and Kamui remained outside the temple, keeping an eye out for other enemies. Valbar waited, uselessly, at the entrance.

Leon had been one of the first inside. Valbar had kept an eye on him as he hurried down the front corridor, but soon he’d turned a corner and left his sight. It had felt wrong not following, but it wasn’t just Leon who had told him in no uncertain terms that he should remain outside.

He couldn’t hear much of it, but he could still tell the battle within was fierce. His hands shook. He gripped his lance.

The kids were all in there. Even Genny. They were in less danger from magic than he was, but that hardly seemed like an excuse. He was used to being a big, bulky target. He could take a hit. He could take many. That was the point of him.

His job was to take those hits for the people who couldn’t. What was the point of him hanging back like this?

He heard Leon’s voice echoing from somewhere inside. He tensed, gripping his lance still tighter.

He could look after himself. He’d survived this long. He knew to stay out of trouble, when a fight was too big for him, when it was better to retreat.

But if Valbar wasn’t there to protect him, how could he ensure that Leon would be safe?

He tried not to think of all else his absence had cost him.

After what seemed a lifetime, Valbar heard footsteps hurrying toward him. He shook himself and reached for his shield.

“Valbar,” Leon called out as he hurried into view.

Valbar’s heart leapt. He tossed his shield aside and rushed to meet him.

“Are you hurt?” he demanded, catching Leon by the shoulders.

Leon gave a breathless laugh and patted his hand. His hair was disheveled and he was winded, but he didn’t seem to be bleeding, at least.

“I’m fine, old friend,” Leon said. “Everyone’s fine. Only a few scratches, and Genny fixed them right up.”

Valbar closed his eyes, sighed, and released him. He nodded stiffly.

“You’re all shaky,” Leon said gently. “Look at you. Worried about me?”

“I hated that,” Valbar said. “That was… That was awful.”

Leon smiled sympathetically. “Don’t I know it,” he breathed. “Come on. Let’s get you back to everyone. Gods, if you weren’t in armor I’d just hold you. You look terrible.”

Valbar grunted wordlessly as Leon took his hand. Valbar let him lead the way down the corridor and into the entry chamber of the temple.

Around the cavernous white stone room lay a large number of collapsed human forms, all clothed in deep maroon robes. Celica stood in their midst, head bowed in prayer again. At one end of the room, a pair of enormous doors stood closed and bolted, with a barricade of various heavy objects blocking it. Deen was doing what little he could on his own to move these objects out of the way; Saber and Kamui immediately joined him.

“Everyone all right?” Valbar called out. “Anyone hurt?”

People called back to him, all saying nobody was. Genny shook her head, fluffy hair bouncing around her face.

Leon squeezed his hand. “I told you,” he whispered. “Don’t worry so much.”

All the same, Valbar looked around the room at each member of their group in turn. They all seemed tired, but otherwise in good shape.

Nobody was hurt. He shook himself and took a deep breath. Once he was steady again, he moved farther into the room, stopping beside Celica. She looked up at him and gave a small smile.

“You all right, priestess?” he asked.

“Oh – I’m quite all right, thank you,” she nodded. “I’m just sorry it had to come to this. I… don’t much care for violence.”

“It’s certainly strange to see those of the Duma faith this far south,” Leon mused. “What do Rigelian mages want here?”

Celica cast her eyes down a moment. “I… have an idea,” she said.

Valbar was just about to ask her what was wrong when she brought the smile back again. “Ah – if the two of you wouldn’t mind helping the barricade – it’s blocking the main chamber. Mother Mila may still be…”

“Right you are, priestess,” Valbar nodded. “Leon. Shall we?”

Leon didn’t let go of his hand until they reached the barricade. The mercenaries looked up as they approached and stood aside a little to let him work.

Together, they made short work of the makeshift barrier, and before too long they had the door open.

Before Valbar could react, Mae, Boey, and Genny rushed through the gap he’d made and into the room beyond.

“H-hey, kids, we don’t know what’s in there,” Saber protested. “You get back here. It might not be safe –”

He ducked under Valbar’s arm and hurried after them. Valbar gave the doors a shove – they held open – and followed them. He could hear Leon’s boots clicking along just behind him.

The longer he looked, the more _wrong_ this room seemed. Windows of ornate stained glass were broken in places, completely shattered in others. In the center, a set of stone stairs led up to an ornate ivory chair – empty. Valbar had never been here before, but he had a feeling he knew who usually occupied it.

The three kids stood at the foot of those stairs, gazing up at the empty chair. Even with their backs to him, Valbar could see defeat in the way they stood.

“Look,” Leon said, pointing to a back corner of the room.

A huddle of people knelt there – at the front of them, a priestess clad all in black. She rose to her feet and hurried forward as Valbar watched, hands clasped to her chest, eyes wide.

“You – you have come to free us?” she asked breathlessly.

“Are you all right?” Valbar asked. “How… how long have you been in here?”

“Oh, I… I have lost track of the days,” she said. Her eyes filled with tears. She hid her face in shaking hands. “Oh… Mila be praised…”

Celica appeared at Valbar’s elbow and put a hand on the priestess’ shoulder.

“Everything is all right now, ma’am,” she said, her voice soothing. “You’re safe now.”

The priestess nodded, looked up at her – and gave a quiet gasp.

“You –” she breathed. “But – ah, no, you… couldn’t be…”

“Ma’am?” Celica asked hesitantly.

The priestess took a quick step back, hands flitting to her mouth, eyes still wider than before.

“I’m… I’m sorry, it’s only that – you are the spitting image of Lady Liprica,” she wavered. “I’m sorry. She was a close friend of mine.”

“Liprica,” Celica repeated – a note of recognition in her voice.

Valbar turned the name over in his mind as well. He felt like he had heard it somewhere before, but could not quite place it.

“You know of her?” the priestess asked. “But you’re so young. She passed on nearly eighteen years ago.”

“Liprica… was my mother’s name,” Celica breathed.

The priestess gasped again, this time stumbling and nearly falling backwards – only to be caught by Saber.

“But then – you _couldn’t_ be…”

“Lass –”

Movement in the back of the room caught Valbar’s eye. A young man with firey red hair struggled to his feet, staggering toward them. He seemed to favor one leg, one arm was splinted, and there was a bandage wrapped around his head. One of the priests called out for him to lay back down, to rest, but he moved forward heedlessly. His eyes were fixed on Celica, his mouth half open, his eyes brimming with tears.

Valbar took a step forward, putting himself between the young man and Celica.

The young man stopped short. He swayed on the spot, tears beginning to fall.

“_Antheise?_” he breathed, voice quivering.

Valbar looked over at Celica. She stared blankly at this newcomer for a moment, searching his face – and then her eyes widened.

“_Conrad?_” she demanded.

She rushed past Valbar and leapt into the young man’s arms. He stood quite a bit taller than her, but his injuries made him weak. He winced as he held onto Celica, burying his face in her shoulder.

Valbar glanced down at Leon, who looked as lost as he felt.

“Celica?” Mae called out. “What’s goin’ on?”

Saber, just to Valbar’s left, grunted and let his hand fall from the hilt of his sword.

Celica and the redheaded man broke apart, holding each other by the arms.

“I thought you died,” Celica wavered. “That night in the fire. I couldn’t find you. I –”

The young man shook his head. “Antheise, I… is it really you?” he breathed. “I never… I never thought…”

The rest of the group waited as the two of them gathered themselves. Eventually, Celica took a deep breath and turned to face them all.

“I suppose I may as well come out with it,” she said, rubbing at her eyes. “I… haven’t been completely honest with all of you.”

She took another steadying breath. When next she spoke, she did not falter.

“My name… the name I was born with… is not Celica. My true name is Antheise.”

Valbar blinked. That name he knew. That name he could place.

“My mother, Liprica… was one of the wives of the late king Lima IV,” Celica went on. “By rights, I am… I am the last princess of Zofia.”

Valbar heard Genny gasp.

Celica closed her eyes.

“At a young age, my home at the palace was attacked. My home was burned to the ground in an attempt to kill me and my siblings. To protect me from those who perpetrated the attack, I was taken to a small village in southern Zofia. When I was discovered there, I was taken to Novis Island, and hidden in the priory there, under the name by which you have all always known me.”

She gestured to the young man beside her. “This is my brother. His name is Conrad. Until…” she choked, cutting herself off. “Until today, I thought him dead along with the others.”

Valbar stared at her in wonder.

The priestess knelt in front of Celica and bowed her ehad.

“Antheise,” she said. “I… forgive me. You mother entrusted those of us in the temple with a circlet intended for you, but I fear it has been lost over the years.”

“Oh – no, please,” Celica said, embarrassed. “Please – what is your name?”

“Irma, my lady,” the priestess replied.

“Irma,” Celica repeated. “Please, there is no need to kneel before me – or speak so formally. And above all, there is nothing to be forgiven. Do not despair so.”

“I…” Conrad spoke up. “I actually… happen to be in possession of that circlet.”

He reached into the bag at his hip and pulled out a small cloth bundle, which he unwrapped to reveal a thin circle of silver. This he held out to Celica, who took a hesitant step back.

“I… I’m not sure,” she whispered.

“Please accept it,” Irma said. “Your mother wished for you to have it. It was the last wish I heard from her.”

Celica pressed her lips together, and then closed her eyes and bowed her head, allowing Conrad to place the circlet upon her head.

Valbar lowered himself to one knee with a quiet clatter of metal plates. Around him, he heard the rest of the group do the same.

“Oh – all of you, please,” Celica protested. “I’m not deserving of all this.”

“Celica,” Mae shot at her. “You were a princess? All this time? And you didn’t tell me?”

Leon laughed quietly. “All this time we’ve been in the presence of royalty. Unbelievable.”

Celica smiled at Mae, and modestly gestured for them all to rise again.

“Celica?” Genny piped up. “Do you… want us to call you Antheise now?”

“Oh – no, Genny,” she replied. “Please. I want to be just Celica to all of you.”

“Besides, it’s likely still safer for you that way,” Boey mused. “If you’re still being pursued.”

Celica inclined her head toward him. “There is also that,” she murmured.

She turned to Irma again and place a hand on her shoulder.

“Irma,” she said. “My party and I traveled here intending to consult with the Earth Mother, but… I see she isn’t here. If I may ask… what happened?”

“Ah… yes,” Irma said. She wrung her hands. “There… was an attack. I don’t know how long ago. We’ve all been imprisoned here so long, we’ve lost track of the days.

“We were attacked by a detachment of the Rigelian army. At their head…”

Irma briefly covered her mouth, eyes closed against further tears. “I’m sorry. I’m still having trouble believing it. But there is no denying it. It was the Emperor Rudolf himself.”

“Rudolf?” Celica gasped. “He was here?”

“Yes. He was met with no resistance. We were not prepared. And he… the Earth Mother…”

Irma dissolved into tears, falling to her knees. Celica knelt with her, speaking quietly to her, trying to calm her down, but nothing seemed to work.

Instead, Conrad turned to the rest of them and went on.

“I was not here for this event,” he began. “I arrived afterward – I heard of the occupation and rushed foolhardily into the thick of it. As you can see, I… was handily beaten.

“From what I understand, Rudolf and several of his men arrived here and kidnapped Mila. He left behind a detachment of his mages to guard the temple, and hold these faithful captive, preventing them from alerting those outside.”

“Mila’s… gone?” Valbar asked. “But – she’s a goddess, yeah? How could he just walk off with her?”

“His blade,” Irma put in. “It was… no ordinary one. Falchion – a blade with the power to slay a god.”

“Slay… a god,” Celica repeated. “But… Mila was not slain?”

“Not that anyone here saw.” Conrad shook his head. “But… I expect that even if she was not, she is still imperiled.”

Celica got to her feet. “Does anyone know where she may have been taken?” she asked – of Irma, of Conrad, of the priests now standing and gathering nearby. “Anybody?”

“We… have a guess,” Irma quavered. “There is a place sacred to the Duma faith – a tower to the north, in Rigel, known as Duma Tower.”

“I see,” Celica said. “I… thank you, Irma. Please rest now. Our party has supplies we can give you. I’m sure you must be in great need.”

Valbar approached her as the rest of the group began milling about, doing what they could to aid the priests. She looked up at him and smiled politely, but seemed deeply distracted.

“Northward to Rigel, princess?” he asked, returning her smile.

“Oh, please just call me Celica,” she said. “It’s embarrassing. But… yes. Yes, I will be pressing on.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Leon said lightly. “We’re coming with you.”

“You truly needn’t,” she said, shaking her head. “You agreed to come along as far as the Temple. Now that we’ve reached it, you’ve no need to go farther.”

“Oh, please,” Leon scoffed, waving a hand. “We’re not about to abandon you here. If you’re really going to cross the border, things are only going to get more dangerous for you.”

He knocked on Valbar’s armor. “The big guy would be beside himself if something happened to you,” he said.

Valbar palmed the top of his head. “What he means to say,” he laughed, “is that we’re in this for the long haul.”

The smile returned to Celica’s face. “Well, if you’re sure,” she said.

“Of course we’re sure,” Valbar said. “We still owe ya.”

“Hey,” Leon called over his shoulder. “Kamui.”

Valbar looked behind him, over where Kamui stood, helping hand out supplies. He looked up at Leon’s words and called back, “Yeah?”

“Might we keep you on board for an expedition to Rigel?” Leon asked.

Kamui gave him a long, hard look. Even from here, Valbar could almost hear an indignant huff of breath.

“I fuckin’ suppose so,” he shot back, shaking his head. With that, he turned his back on them, busying himself with bundles of food.

Laughing, Valbar turned back to Celica, who was already back in conversation with her brother and Irma. He looked next to Leon, who was already looking up at him.

“Rigel, huh?” Leon asked. “You’re sure about this? It’s tantamount to an invasion, you know, now we’ve got a princess with us.”

“You didn’t even have to ask,” Valbar replied.

“I know you well enough by now. Come on, let’s get you out of that armor.”

Leon took him by the hand again, leading him off to one side of the chamber. With Leon’s help, his armor was removed quickly. The two of them sat there and chatted a while; Valbar wanted to see what help he could be to the others, but Leon insisted he rest.

“You looked ready to faint after that fight,” Leon said. “You might collapse if I let you get out there.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Valbar grumbled. “I was fine. I _am_ fine.”

Leon tapped his shoulder with a fist. “Let me fuss over you, old friend,” he sighed. “Someone has to.”

Valbar smiled down at him. “I appreciate it,” he said. “Really. I’m givin’ ya a hard time.”

“I know you are,” Leon said – and then yawned. “I know _I’m_ tired, anyway.”

With that, he leaned against Valbar’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Valbar looked down at the top of his head, careful not to move in a way that would disturb him.

For some reason, he finally felt ready to breathe. He knew that far more danger lay ahead than behind them – there were _gods_ wrapped up in all this, the Emperor of Rigel, the entire war that he and Leon had thought they left behind last year.

But all the same.

Being here with Leon – regardless of where “here” was – set Valbar at ease. It gave him the strange sense of being at home, even though his true home lay in cinders, a hundred miles away.

Valbar smiled to himself.

Yes – though there were more trials still to come, for now he would simply sit back and enjoy this moment with Leon.

Who know how many more of them this journey would allow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOO yall i am so tired it is nearly 2 am
> 
> i gotta go to bed. i used up all my brain finishing this chapter tonight. next one will probably also be late, though i will do my absolute damndest to make it not be. i'm pretty sure i got my own @ wrong in the last chapter. it's @static_begone on twitter if you want to check for updates on this fic
> 
> anyways see you when i see you. thank you as always for joining me
> 
> (as for final chapter count? i'm Still not totally sure but we're looking at Fourteen Ish. Maybe Fifteen. I Will Let You Know When I Know)


	12. Chapter Twelve

VC 401

Their group stayed within the temple for a few days, resting and helping the resident priests restore the place. There was much more work to be done than they had time to do, but they all contributed as best they could. Busy as they were, the group scarcely got the chance to sit and chat except at mealtimes and in the evenings. Leon made every effort to stick close to Valbar, keeping himself as underfoot as possible. He also tried not to stare too hard when Valbar was tasked with lifting heavy objects, but this proved difficult.

In any case, during the nights, Leon had him all to himself. Lying down to sleep beside him each night, in his accustomed place, made Leon feel as though his heart were about to burst.

Valbar tended to fall asleep first on those nights, after long days of working. The last thing Leon saw before drifting off himself was Valbar’s face in profile, relaxed in a way it never was while awake anymore.

To Leon, that was the most beautiful sight in the world.

They set out the morning after their fourth night spent in the temple. Conrad once again insisted on accompanying his sister, despite her protests, and was up and ready to leave before any of the rest of them had even woken. They enjoyed a quick yet hearty breakfast, gave thanks and goodbyes to the clergy, and set out for Rigel at last.

Celica stopped and turned to face the temple one last time before exiting. Her brow was knitted and her hands were clasped in front of her again. Leon could see them shaking. The delicate silver circlet looked heavy on her head.

“Lass?” Saber murmured as he drew level with her.

She shook her head. “It’s nothing,” she said, eyes traveling over the rubble and bloodstains that remained in the chamber. “I… only wish we could be of more help.”

“Gettin’ the goddess back here’ll do more for ’em than we ever could,” Valbar said, “no matter how long we stayed.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Celica breathed, though she sounded unsure.

Conrad laid a reassuring hand on his sister’s shoulder. “Trust me, Antheise,” he said. “We can do this.”

She frowned up at him. “I still wish you would remain behind,” she said. “Your injuries –”

“– are no worse than I’ve had before,” he interrupted her, smiling easily. “The people here took care of me very well. In any case, I know of a place we can look for help. You would have a great deal of trouble finding it without me.”

“Who could possibly be counted upon to help us in this?” Celica asked.

He put a hand on her shoulder and motioned out the door. “I’ll tell you as we walk, all right?”

Leon fell in step beside Valbar as the group set out. Valbar looked down at him and gave him a smile, which he returned.

“Rigel, eh,” Valbar said, shielding his eyes from the sun. “Never been.”

“Me either,” Leon replied. “Too cold. Very drying for the skin.”

“Rigel’s too cold, Zofia’s too hot, are you ever comfortable?”

“Rarely,” Leon huffed. “Besides, it’s not _all_ of Zofia that’s too hot, just the _desert_ we spent two weeks in.”

Valbar chuckled.

The two of them were towards the back of their little caravan, as usual. Leon’s keen eyes made him a good lookout, and Valbar preferred to watch everyone’s backs rather than forge the way ahead. Conrad had been helped onto the back of one of their few horses and rode along slowly, talking to Celica at the head of the party. The other kids tagged closely behind, full of questions for the two of them. Saber and Kamui were out of sight, doubtless scouting ahead. Deen and Sonya walked close together but in silence, eyes straight ahead. Est, Catria, and Palla flanked them all from above, occasionally shouting at each other as they moved along.

Leon clasped his hands and stretched them high over his head, smiling. He’d had his doubts about this group at first, but now it felt comfortable here. They’d faced enough battles together now that he felt he could trust any of them if it came to it. Even Sonya and Deen, the stoic newcomers, had proven their trust. They were closed-off and mysterious, both of them, but straightforward as well; they hadn’t been anything but honest since joining up with the group.

Most of all, though, he was proud to still be at Valbar’s side. Proud that Valbar still wanted him there. Because, truly, as long as he could stay there, Leon felt right at home. There, and nowhere else, was where he really belonged.

Leon’s heart fluttered a little as he thought it. He passed it off with a deep sigh.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” Valbar asked.

Leon laughed. “No,” he said. “Nothing at all.”

And for once – though the task that loomed before them was unbelievably great – nothing was.

\- - -

They camped that night a while before the border. They estimated it would take most of the next day to reach the last town in Zofia’s north, and they wanted to stock up on supplies before crossing into Rigel; none of them wanted to count on Rigelian merchants to give them a fair price.

They built a campfire and all huddled close around it; not only were they farther north than they’d yet been, winter was also beginning to creep in. One could smell it on the air. Leon realized that they had to be getting close to the new year. He’d lost track of the days on the road.

As they cooked their food and warmed themselves, plans were discussed for the way forward. Leon participated very little in the conversation, instead leaning against Valbar and yawning, merely listening to everyone talk. Celica, seated beside Mae and Conrad, with a blanket over her and Mae’s shoulders, frowned into the heart of the fire. Saber, on Conrad’s other side, stared at her a while before addressing her brother.

“Kid,” he said. “You were sayin’ something about someone who could help us out?”

Conrad nodded. “A sage by the name of Halcyon,” he said. “A former priest of the Duma faith.”

“Duma,” Boey repeated doubtfully.

Conrad shook his head. “He left the priesthood many years ago. There were disagreements within the leadership; finding them difficult to reconcile, he departed. He retains his faith, but values peace above all else.”

Sonya suddenly spoke up. “The other leaders,” she said. “There was a man named Jedah among them, yes?”

Conrad inclined his head. “Indeed; Jedah has grown to incredible prominence in recent years. He was the one with whom Halcyon had the deepest grievances, in fact.”

Sonya’s jaw clenched. She clasped her hands in her lap and frowned at them hard. Leon watched her carefully, but she gave nothing more away. All the same, it was clear she found these words distressing.

“I must ask, Conrad,” Celica said, “how you came to know this Halcyon so well.”

“He was the one who took me in,” Conrad replied. “When our home was attacked all those years ago, he aided my mother and myself and provided us shelter.”

“I see,” Celica nodded. “I’ll have to remember to thank him when we meet.”

“We’ll wanna stop off for supplies and such before we cross the border,” Valbar mused. “It’ll be a long haul. We didn’t account for the temple.”

“True,” Kamui grunted. “Don’t want to be mingling too much up there. The lower a profile we can keep, the better.”

“’Specially since we got two members of Zofian royalty with us,” Saber mumbled.

Celica twisted her mouth, eyes downcast. She looked about ready to say something, but Leon spoke up before she could.

“We’re in this till the end, Priestess,” he said. “We know what we’re doing. Don’t worry your head about us.”

“It will be dangerous,” she objected.

Mae elbowed her in the side. “All the more reason for us to keep all these strong folks around, huh?”

Celica clasped her hands. “If I had it my way, I wouldn’t bring anyone along on this journey,” she said. “I don’t want to endanger any of you.”

Genny shook her head. “If Mother Mila is in trouble, we all want to help her,” she said. “Why should you have to save her alone?”

Boey clapped his hands. “Celica, there is no other option. We are all with you. To the very end of the line.”

Celica smiled at him. He bumped her shoulder with his fist.

Valbar shifted beside Leon, who sat up to allow him to move. He stood up and stretched his arms high over his head.

“I’m not about to let ya do this on your own,” he said. “Don’t you worry.”

Celica’s smile barely masked the uncertainty behind her eyes.

“I thank you, my friends,” she said. “I know that none of you expected a journey of this scale, and I truly cannot thank you enough for choosing to stay on with me. Though know that you are free to back out at any time; each of you has faced death for my sake too many times.”

Saber set his plate down and wiped his mouth. He leaned forward and stared into the fire a moment before speaking.

“There is somethin’ I gotta come clean about, though, Princess,” he said.

She raised her eyebrows. “Saber?”

Saber closed his eye and gave a long, slow sigh.

“I was born in Rigel,” he said. “Lived there most of my life. Ran when the war started.”

“I see.”

“I understand if you’d rather I didn’t go with ya any farther north,” he added. “I could be a Rigelian spy for all you know. I could well kill you all in your sleep.”

Kamui shook his head. “Pretty sure we’d all be dead a few times over if that was the case,” he said. “If you were gonna do somethin’ to make things harder for us, you woulda by now.”

Saber frowned hard and looked to Celica again. She smiled.

“You’re one of us, Saber,” she said. “I trust you with my life. I wouldn’t dream of leaving you behind.”

Still frowning, Saber nodded. He stoked the fire a little and held his hands up to warm them. The air was growing cold as they moved north, and the breeze was only amplifying that.

Leon stood up beside Valbar and leaned against him.

“Well,” he said, “Now that’s all settled, why don’t we all see about getting some sleep, eh?”

“Seconded,” Valbar said. “Long road ahead still.”

The group returned their attention to what was left of their meals. Conversation returned after a moment, with lighter discussions drifting through the air as Leon and Valbar departed the circle.

Valbar clapped a hand to Leon’s back. Leon looked up and found him smiling, and so smiled back.

“Onward we go, eh?” Valbar asked.

“So we do,” Leon replied lightly.

“Sorry ’bout all this,” Valbar went on after a moment, as they approached their tent. “This leave went on longer than I thought it would.”

Leon nudged him with his elbow. “I’m glad you brought me along, old friend,” he said. “I’d have hated to make you go this alone.”

Valbar sighed. Leon looked up at him, though he could hardly see him in the growing dark. Winter was falling now. It had been so long since they had left the army. Leon shivered and Valbar put an arm around his shoulders. Leon leaned into him as the walked, wrapping his own arm around Valbar’s waist.

“To tell you the truth, Leon,” he murmured, “I don’t think I’d have made it this far without ya.”

“No?”

“Nah. I’d never have made it off Barth’s island,” he said. “I’d’ve died there.”

Leon squeezed him. “Well. Then it’s a good thing I insisted, isn’t it.”

“Really is,” Valbar said – almost wistful.

Leon head-butted his shoulder. “Let’s not think about what could have happened,” he said. “What matters is you made it. We both made it.”

Valbar’s hand moved in a slow circle over Leon’s back. He stifled another shiver.

“Yeah,” Valbar muttered. “Yeah, we did.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way to their tent. Leon pushed the flap open and stood aside to let Valbar in first, then followed him.

It was no warmer under the canvas. The mats on the floor did little to combat the deep chill that seeped up from below. Leon winced; he would doubtless have trouble sleeping tonight.

Valbar sat with a heavy sigh. Leon knelt beside him reluctantly.

“Cold,” Valbar commented.

“Mmh.”

Valbar laid down and winced. “You’ll freeze to death for sure. No meat on your bones.”

Leon clicked his tongue. “Not much to be done about it,” he sighed. “It’ll only get worse as we move north.”

He laid down as well, gritting his teeth. The cold immediately leeched heat from his very bones. It was going to be a long night.

“Hey, y’know what – c’mere,” Valbar said.

Leon heard him shuffle closer – and then there was the soft, warm weight of him, pressed against Leon’s back.

His shoulders tensed and his heart leapt.

“There y’are,” Valbar breathed. “Warmer?”

Leon mumbled vague assent and tried to calm his breathing. Valbar’s arm rested gently against his waist. It was hard to focus on anything else.

Valbar sighed, ruffling Leon’s hair. He felt like he was on fire. He shivered.

“...Are you sure?”

Leon’s voice shook in spite of him. His breath lingered in the freezing air.

“What?” Valbar murmured.

“Are you… sure about…” Leon took a deep breath, as slowly as he could, trying to keep his heart from fluttering so much. “…about having me this close?”

Valbar chuckled quietly. “’Course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You know why,” Leon muttered.

The weight of Valbar’s arm vanished.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, Leon,” he said gently. “You tell me if you don’t like this. Okay?”

Leon closed his eyes. His heart was still racing. His back, still pressed against Valbar, burned.

Before he could lose his nerve, he rolled over.

Valbar laughed softly and draped his arm over him again. Leon was glad it was dark; his face had to be incredibly red. He hid it against Valbar’s chest.

“Comfy?” Valbar asked. Leon could feel his voice rumbling in his ribs.

“Yeah,” he replied. He curled his arms up between them. “You’re… really warm.”

Valbar recoiled slightly and took a hissing breath. “And you’re like ice,” he observed. “First thing after this all settles down, we’re gonna get you fattened up.”

“No need,” Leon mumbled, “if I’ve got you there.”

Valbar hummed. He rubbed Leon’s back – wringing another nervous shiver out of him – and rested his chin on top of his head.

“G’night, Leon,” Valbar said.

Leon’s eyes stung. He closed them tightly. It certainly would be a long night.

“Sleep well, old friend,” he murmured in reply.

\- - -

Valbar awoke first the following morning. He took a deep breath of biting cold air and looked drowsily down at Leon.

There he was, still curled up against Valbar’s chest. Still asleep, and soundly, with his mouth partly open and his hair spread out over Valbar’s arm. He shifted a little as Valbar watched, moving closer and pressing his face against him again.

Valbar couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t want to wake him; he looked so peaceful like this.

Besides, it was warm here. It would only get colder as their journey continued.

It occurred to him, as he looked down at Leon asleep in his arms, to wonder what would happen once this was all over.

The task to which they had agreed was no small one. Long gone were the days of simple vengeance; now they were contending on a battlefield of emperors and gods. None of them could guess what lay ahead. Valbar himself hadn’t ever considered it.

Though, to be sure, Valbar hadn’t truly considered what would happen after he finished off Barth. A part of him had expected not to survive that encounter.

Where would he go?

Could he really go back to his hometown? Could he stand to be in the place where his family had died? Living alone there… no, it seemed impossible. The pain haunted him enough as it was. The prospect of returning to that place, to a house without the sound of Byron playing, without Victoria’s singing…

Back to the army, then?

He looked once more at Leon. His chest felt tight.

Leon had made it abundantly clear that he would follow wherever Valbar led.

The thought scared him now. Glad as he was to have Leon at his side, glad as he was for his council and friendship, Valbar knew Leon had seen enough of the battlefield. He would never admit it, though, not if it meant leaving.

Valbar wanted him safe. He wanted him happy and far away from the terrors of war that had already taken so much from him.

But then… even the quietest villages could be razed. The most tight-knit towns could be betrayed and destroyed. No matter where Leon went, there was always that danger. Someone, anyone – or anything – could decide to strike at any moment, anywhere.

Valbar held Leon a little tighter. He mumbled and stirred slightly, but did not wake.

He couldn’t trust the world with him. The only way he could make sure Leon stayed safe was to stay right beside him, a shield between him and whatever might do him harm.

Easier said than done. But if Valbar couldn’t keep even one man safe, what was he good for?

Leon snorted in his sleep loudly enough to jar himself awake. Valbar stifled a laugh as Leon blinked blearily, frowning and squinting in the frosty morning air.

“G’mornin’,” Valbar murmured.

Leon grumbled wordlessly in reply. He rolled away from Valbar and sat up. His hair was mussed in back. Valbar shivered against the cold his absence let in.

“Freezing,” Leon complained. “How do people live this far north?”

“Well. Normally they have walls and a floor and a hearth and such,” Valbar said.

“Ugh,” Leon groaned. “Don’t torture me. This is a grand adventure and all, old friend, but I can’t say I’m much enjoying all of this… nature.”

Valbar chuckled. “I’ll get ya out of it soon enough,” he said. “Don’t you worry.”

Leon hummed thoughtfully and rubbed his arms. His breath clouded up in the air. Valbar smiled.

“Let’s go see about a fire and some food,” he said. “So’s you don’t freeze to death.”

“You aren’t cold?” Leon muttered, teeth chattering, as they rose and exited the tent.

Valbar shrugged. “All this fat comes in handy, y’know.”

“Must have have been hell in the desert.”

“Sweated a lot of it out, really.”

Leon pressed himself close to Valbar’s side and Valbar held him there. He could feel him shivering once more.

“Have to get you some better clothes when we stop off later,” he mused.

“I’m fine here until then,” Leon said, resting one arm around Valbar’s waist.

Saber was already kneeling beside the ashes of last night’s campfire when they arrived. He glanced up at them and nodded as they sat across from him.

“How was the night, watchman?” Leon asked, holding his hands out to the tiny flame Saber had started.

Saber grunted, stacking kindling around the smoldering tinder. “My half? Calm. Perfectly. Not a soul to be seen.”

“That’s good, right?” Valbar asked.

The kindling caught. Saber furrowed his brow.

“Good, yes,” he muttered. “But strange. This close to the border, this deep in the woods, you’d think we’d see… anything.”

“Same on my end,” Kamui’s voice called from behind them. Valbar looked over his shoulder as he approached and found him yawning. “Nothing. Not so much as a deer.”

Valbar surveyed the landscape. They had built their camp in a clearing, well off the road, so as not to be seen by any late-night travelers. What little of the sky could be seen through the canopy was the flat white of impending snow. He could smell it in the air. Winter was only just beginning, but they were already far enough north to feel like they were in the thick of it.

And it was quiet.

Valbar bumped Leon with his elbow. “Any thoughts?”

Leon shrugged. “Could be nothing,” he said. “Could just be hiding from the cold. But just in case something has the animals spooked, we should keep an eye out.”

“This place gives me the creeps,” Kamui muttered. He crossed his arms tight over his chest. “The sooner we get this all over with, the happier I’ll be.”

More of their group arose as the morning grew brighter and the fire burned higher. Soon enough a pot of stew was brewing and bowls were being distributed. The kids were the last to rise, and the adults kept quiet; they needed their sleep more than anyone.

The very last of their group to rise was Mae, wrapped up tight in a blanket and yawning widely. She shuffled towards the campfire, accepted a bowl of stew from Saber, and plopped herself down between Boey and Genny.

“Where’s Celica?” she yawned, rubbing her eye with her fist.

Saber frowned. “Not in your tent?”

“Haven’t seen her,” Valbar added.

Mae frowned. “If she was, I wouldn’t be asking, Saber,” she grumbled.

Conrad stopped eating.

“Nobody… has seen Antheise?” he wavered.

Valbar blinked and looked around. Nobody spoke up. A foreboding silence covered the group.

Conrad got to his feet, pale as the cold air. “Who saw her last?” he demanded. “Where was she?”

“In our tent, last night,” Mae said nervously. “She was there when I fell asleep. I didn’t hear her get up or anything.”

“Nobody else has seen her?” Conrad demanded, whirling to look at the rest of them. “Nobody?”

He tottered on his feet. Saber rose quickly to catch him.

“You take it easy,” he muttered, sitting him back down. “I’ll go check it out. I’m sure she’s not far.”

Leon stood up as well. He looked wary. Something about this was bothering him. Valbar could feel it to. Something was wrong here. The stillness of the forest weighed on them from all sides.

Valbar stood beside Leon. Across from them, Sonya followed suit, brow furrowed. Almost at once, the rest of the group joined them. Saber nodded at them all, but pointed at the kids sternly.

“You’re stayin’ here,” he said. “I can’t have any more a you gettin’ lost too.”

Mae put her hands on her hips. “We’re coming,” she snapped. “Don’t act like we aren’t.”

Boey and Genny set their faces in defiance. Saber squinted at hem.

“Someone needs to stay here with this one,” he said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at Conrad, who was leaning heavily on the shoulder of a nonplussed Deen as he struggled to remain upright. “Make sure he doesn’t hurt himself comin’ after.”

At this, Genny backed down. “I… I’ll stay, then,” she muttered.

Valbar relaxed slightly.

The other two were not so easily dissuaded, and none of them wanted to waste time trying. Saber relented, but not before directing them in no uncertain terms to stay within sight of him.

“Get suited up,” he finally stated. “We’ll find her. Make sure you can always see someone, and spread out.”

The camp was oddly hushed as they all gathered their equipment. Valbar retrieved his lance and shield as well as Leon’s bow and quiver. He wouldn’t bother with full armor right now; the shield would hopefully be enough. It remained in the wagon as he returned to Leon’s side.

He was frowning when Valbar rejoined him, gazing out into the forest.

“Nobody heard anything,” he muttered. “Not even Mae.”

“So she must’ve left on her own,” Valbar said.

“Most likely,” Leon nodded. “Probably stepped away to get some air, got lost in the dark…”

Valbar placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll find her,” he said firmly.

“Of course,” Leon replied lightly, touching his hand. “She’ll probably get back to camp before the search party does.”

His expression did not change to match his tone. Valbar squeezed his shoulder and let go.

Before long, they were regrouping at the edge of the forest. Palla, astride her pegasus, moved to the front of the group with her sisters close behind her. Young as she was – roughly Leon’s age, maybe younger – Valbar was impressed by how commanding and steadfast she looked. Saber stood aside to give her room.

“The three of us will take to the air,” Palla called out. “All of you follow behind us, and stay within sight of somebody at all times. Call out if you find Celica or if you need help, and one of us will come to your aid. Stay calm and keep your wits about you. Onward!”

With that, she tapped her pegasus’ sides and took to the air. Catria and Est followed close behind. Valbar watched the three of them rise above the level of the trees and split off, one in each direction.

Saber raised a fist and pointed forward. Together, the group moved ahead, spreading out to cover more ground.

Valbar nudged Leon’s shoulder.

“Stay where I can see you, yeah?” he murmured.

Leon chuckled. “Of course, old friend,” he replied. He touched Valbar’s hand and then, with a lazy smile over his shoulder, darted off into the trees.

Valbar watched him leave, chest tightening. He shook himself and focused forward, lance at the ready.

Leon could look after himself. He wasn’t made of glass. Valbar knew that. Leon trusted in him, so he’d just have to do the same in return.

But all the same…

He took a breath to center himself. Celica was the one he needed to be worried about. He shifted his attention to the forest floor, scanning for a glimpse of Celica’s bright red hair or her white dress. Even as the sun rose, it stayed dark under the canopy. Valbar could vaguely see Saber through the trees to his left, and though Leon was adept at moving through the forest without a sound, Valbar didn’t need to hear him to know he was there. It brought him some comfort.

Any moment now, he told himself as they pressed ever onward. Any moment we’ll find her. Any moment someone will call out they’ve found her. She just wandered off and got lost.

Very lost.

Suddenly a putrid smell hit him like a wall. He started at it and took a step back, shielding his nose with his forearm. It was a smell of organic decay, with something sharp and unnerving at the edges.

Leon appeared at his side. “Smells like a swamp,” he muttered, “but…”

“Somethin’ wrong with it,” Valbar grunted.

“Yes. Can’t say this is… anything I’ve ever encountered before,”

Before they could ponder it any further, though, a voice called out urgently from somewhere in the woods. Leon whipped around, looking behind him.

“Mae,” he said. “Come on.”

Valbar followed Leon through the underbrush as fast as he could. His pale lilac hair stood out against the dark, leading the way.

Mae’s voice became more audible as they moved. Another voice answered her – a girl’s voice, and familiar.

“Celica?” he called out. “Mae?”

“She’s here, Valbar!” Mae shouted back. “I got her! Over here!”

Valbar caught Leon’s eye and together they made their way towards the girls’ voices. It didn’t take long to find them. The dank smell grew denser as Valbar forged a path through the trees with Leon close behind.

Before long, they emerged into a tiny clearing and there they were. Celica started and took a stumbling step backwards, but steadied herself quickly. Mae put a hand on her arm.

“Priestess,” Valbar said breathlessly, slowing to a halt. “You all right?”

Celica flashed a tight smile. “Yes, I am,” she said, nervously clasping her hands together.

Leon stepped forward and squinted at her, shouldering his bow and tilting his head.

“Awful pale, Priestess,” he observed. “What happened?”

She took a quick step back and bowed her head, avoiding his discerning eyes.

“Nothing, I assure you,” she replied, her voice remarkably steady. “I’m sorry to have worried you all so; I took a wrong turn and got lost.”

“You didn’t even wake me up!” Mae exclaimed, grabbing Celica’s hands in her own. “Scared me half to death! Buddy system, remember?”

Celica laughed shakily. “I’m truly sorry, Mae,” she said. “Let’s get back to camp, then, shall we?”

Leon stood back and sighed, hands on hips. “I won’t pry into your business farther, miss,” he said with a shake of the head, “but don’t think you’ll be able to worm your way out of telling your brother and Saber. They’re beside themselves at the moment.”

Mae pulled Celica forward, back in the direction of camp. “Genny and Boey are freaking out,” she grumbled. “You gotta tell someone before you wander off like that.”

Leon stepped in front of Valbar and extended his hand. Valbar took it and Leon winked.

“Stay close through here,” he breathed, leading the way through the trees. “I don’t like the look of this place. No animals at all. Something’s wrong here.”

Valbar felt it too. It was too still, not a single sign of life apparent around them. He squeezed Leon’s hand. He heard him chuckle quietly as he squeezed back.

The four of them picked their way through the forest, with Mae calling out to the others that Celica had been found, and Valbar and Leon keeping watch. Valbar couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being followed – or at least observed – through the still woods.

“You hear that?” Leon muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

Valbar didn’t. He stopped and held out his arm, stopping the girls in their tracks as well. Mae didn’t need to be told to quiet down.

Leon cocked his head. Valbar held his breath.

“There,” Leon intoned suddenly, readying his bow and nocking an arrow. “North.”

“Girls,” Valbar breathed. “Behind me.”

Mae and Celica safely hidden, Valbar turned his attention back to Leon – who had crept forward several steps without a sound.

“Leon,” Valbar warned.

Leon didn’t answer. He dropped to one knee and frantically gestured for him to do the same.

A branch snapped under Valbar’s knee.

And then he heard it, though he had no place for the sound.

A ghoulish, gurgling shriek that set Valbar’s teeth on edge split the air. He heard the girls gasp behind him and stretched out an arm to cover them. He dared not breathe.

The air fell still again, but Valbar’s blood remained cold. Leon drew in a slow breath. His bowstring creaked.

“Val,” he whispered, his voice almost quiet enough to be swallowed by the nonexistent wind, “As soon as I fire, take the girls and run.”

“Leon –”

Before he could argue, Leon loosed his arrow.

The scream came again, louder and anguished. It seemed to come from everywhere at once. Valbar flinched at it, involuntarily screwing his eyes shut.

A hand landed urgently on Valbar’s chest. Leon faced forward and shoved him backwards. Even through the awful din of the monstrous wailing, Valbar could hear his voice perfectly.

“Go. Run. GO!”

Leon shoved him once more and, without looking back, charged out of his sight.

Valbar stood frozen for a moment, heart in his throat. He heard the twang of Leon’s bowstring again, followed by another terrible shriek.

Mae grabbed his arm, shouting something he couldn’t understand. He gritted his teeth, shook himself, and tore his eyes away from where Leon had vanished. He turned on his heel and began running, shepherding the girls along with him.

He would just make sure they got back to camp safe and then he’d go back for him. He’d be fine.

He’d be fine.

More shrieks, louder and closer, sounded around them as they ran. Here and there Valbar caught glimpses of something red through the trees, or a horrible eye, far too large to belong to any animal he knew of. With each fleeing view, Valbar grew more and more afraid. Leon lacked a shield. All he had was his bow and his wits.

“What are these things?” Mae demanded, firing a bolt of lightning from her palm. A piercing scream let Valbar know she had hit her mark.

“I don’t know,” he shouted back. “You just run – I’ll worry about ’em.”

It wasn’t much farther to camp. They could make it. Somewhere ahead, he could make out familiar voices shouting orders – the whinnies of pegasi –

Something collided hard with Valbar’s shield. He grunted and moved it forward to cover Celica, just in time for a second blow to land. She yelped in surprise but didn’t seem hurt. Mae grabbed her hand, lowered her head, and charged forward.

The trees were thinning and the light growing stronger. Mae stumbled and Valbar tugged her back to her feet. The shrieks became quieter as they drew closer to safety.

“Nearly there,” he grunted. “C’mon.”

They burst out into the open. Valbar squinted in the sudden brightness, looking around urgently. They’d emerged only a short distance from camp, and the girls were already hurrying toward it.

Valbar hesitated, looking warily over his shoulder. He begged Leon to be close behind, heart pounding. He gripped his lance.

“Counting on you, Leon,” he breathed, and turned to follow the girls.

He prayed silently that Leon wasn’t doing anything stupid. He would just make sure the girls reached camp, and then he’d go find him. He’d be fine. He’d be fine.

_Just hold out till I can get back to you._

Saber was waiting at the edge of camp. He shouted and raised a hand as they approached, and ran out to meet them. He grabbed Celica by the upper arms and leaned down to look at her face. He looked uncharacteristically shaken.

“Celica,” he said. “Lass. Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“I-I’m fine,” she wavered, shaking her head. “I’m s-sorry, I…”

Saber shook her head and waved her apology aside. “You’re back and you’re safe. That’s what matters.”

“Who all’s made it back?” Valbar asked. “Lost track out there.”

“About everyone,” Saber said. “Couple injuries, nothin’ big.”

He leaned to look behind Valbar. “Where’s your man?” he asked.

“He stayed behind,” Valbar said distractedly. “You take the girls – I’m goin’ back for him.”

“Take someone with ya,” Saber said. “Those things in there – I don’t know what they are, but you don’t wanna be fighting ’em alone.”

“He’s already doin’ that,” Valbar retorted. Without waiting for a reply, he turned back to the woods.

Saber shouted after him but Valbar wasn’t listening. He threw caution to the winds as he sprinted forward, the darkness of the canopy closing around him once more. The eerie shrieks of the unknown monsters rang in his ears.

“LEON!” he bellowed. “WHERE ARE YOU?”

Something moved in the corner of his eye. He whirled to meet it and barely raised his shield in time to block an attack.

The creature looming towards him was unlike anything he’d ever seen. Terrors, gargoyles, the cursed cantors of Duma – none of them compared to this thing.

In shape it put Valbar in mind of a grotesque octopus, floating in midair with tentacles trailing behind. The thing was all over angry red, with a dozen rolling, blinking, disjointed eyes.

Valbar raised his shield, readied his lance, and gritted his teeth. His mind flashed once more to Leon.

He’d find him fast. He had to.

The monster swept towards him and as it did, a deafening screech sounded – behind him?  
Valbar turned. Another monster was bearing down on him, tentacles ready to strike. This close, Valbar could see that each one was tipped with a long spur of bone.

This was going to hurt.

Just as he braced himself for impact, an arrow buried itself in one of the thing’s many eyes. It emitted an unearthly shriek, momentarily unbalanced, allowing Valbar to stagger back a few steps.

“Just in time, eh, old friend?”

Valbar’s heart leapt. He glimpsed a flash of lilac hair as a familiar back collided with his own.

“Leon!” he shouted. “You all right?”

Leon’s bowstring twanged. His elbow bumped Valbar’s arm.

“Never been better,” he intoned. “The girls okay?”

“Saber’s got ’em,” Valbar replied, parrying a blow from the monster in front of him. “What are these things?”

Leon grunted, spinning away from Valbar, firing an arrow, and then ducking close to him again.

“No idea,” he replied. “They just keep coming. I’ve never seen anything like –”

Leon stopped talking abruptly. Valbar didn’t need to ask why.

The monsters before them suddenly froze in midair, their limbs paralyzed. As Valbar watched, their flesh turned rough and ashen. Their eyes locked into place and ceased blinking, staring blankly in all directions.

With a final fatal scream, the creatures fell out of the air, crumbling to dust before they hit the ground.

Leon’s bowstring creaked as he relaxed. Valbar closed his eyes and listened to him breathe for a moment. The rest of the forest seemed to have fallen similarly silent. For the moment, it was welcome.

Leon laughed breathily and punched his arm. “Let’s get out of here, old friend,” he said, “while we’ve got the chance.”

“Yeah,” Valbar muttered. He eyed the crumbled stone remains on the ground warily. Without looking away, he reached behind him and took hold of Leon’s arm. “Stay close.”

“They must have been summoned, I suppose,” Leon mused as they began walking. “Conjoured. I didn’t see anybody, though – did you?”

“No,” Valbar replied. “No, I didn’t.”

He held a low branch aside, letting Leon pass ahead of him. He kept his shield ready as they moved along, his eyes leaping to anything that moved.

Neither of them spoke much. Leon was breathing rather hard. Valbar could tell, no matter how hard he pretended, that he’d pushed himself too much back there. There was no telling how many of those things he’d just taken on by himself.

Valbar clenched his jaw. Something like frustration welled up in him.

They soon reached the clearing again. Leon pulled away from him and stood in the sunlight, taking a deep breath. He stretched his arms high over his head.

As he did so, Valbar noticed a bloody tear in his sleeve, just below his shoulder.

Leon was opening his mouth to speak when Valbar grabbed his forearm. He blinked up at him, taken aback.

“Val –”

“You’re hurt,” Valbar stated.

Leon laughed gently and tugged his arm away. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Just a scratch. Not even worth having Genny heal it.”

He started towards camp, but Valbar grabbed him again, spinning him around and forcing him to stop. Leon raised his eyebrows.

“So rough, old friend,” he teased.

Valbar had no patience for his antics. His heart was pounding again, that tight feeling in his chest heating up.

“Don’t run off alone like that,” he nearly growled, shaking him. “Don’t ever do that again.”

Leon scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t promise that,” he said, crossing his arms. “You had the better chance of keeping the girls safe. I was just covering you.”

Valbar frowned. “You should have come back with us,” he shot back. “You could have gotten killed in there. We don’t know what those things were.”

Leon snorted and pushed Valbar’s hands off him. He leaned back on one foot and put his hands on his hips.

“What was I supposed to do?” Leon demanded. “Let you stay behind and get hurt instead?”

“_Yes!_” Valbar almost laughed, exasperated.

A muscle tightened in Leon’s jaw.

“That’s the _point_ of me, Leon,” Valbar went on, throwing his arms wide. “I stand in front of everyone and I get hurt so they don’t have to!”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Leon snapped. “I swore to stay by your side, didn’t I? I can hardly cower behind you and let you take it all on.”

“I’m telling you to keep yourself safe.”

“And I’m telling _you_ the same damn thing!”

The frustration boiled over. Valbar grabbed Leon by the shoulders and glared at him. Leon’s violet eyes met his with equal defiance.

Valbar gritted his teeth. Leon’s hands curled into fists at his sides. A lock of that lilac hair drifted into his eyes. His cheeks were flushed.

Valbar opened his mouth but no words came. The flame in his chest fizzled out.

He exhaled slowly and bowed his head. He gripped Leon a little tighter.

“I can’t lose you,” he said to the forest floor, all his fight gone.

“What?”

Valbar squeezed his shoulders. He was warm. Alive. Breathing.

He closed his eyes.

“I’ve lost too much already,” he said. “You’re all I got. I…”

He breathed.

“…I can’t lose you too,” he finished, so quietly he almost couldn’t hear himself. “I can’t.”

With that, he let go of Leon, letting his hands fall to his sides.

“Val,” Leon whispered.

_Val._

When had Leon started calling him that?

Blinking away a vision of Victoria’s smile, Valbar looked up at him.

To his surprise, he found Leon smiling gently.

Leon tilted his head and rested one palm against Valbar’s cheek.

“It’s the same for me, you know,” Leon intoned. “The last man who was so determined to be my shield, well…”

Valbar’s heart skipped. Leon closed his eyes for a moment. He gave his head a little shake and sighed.

“I won’t have that happen to you too, old friend,” he said. “I won’t let it happen, any more than you would.”

He lowered his hand. Valbar’s cheek felt cold where it had rested.

Leon sighed. “There’s a reason we have this group, you know.”

Valbar nodded.

“It’s so nobody gets hurt too bad,” Leon added. “It’s so no one man has to take it alone.”

“Right,” Valbar grunted. “I just… I wish I could. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.”

Leon pressed his hand to the middle of Valbar’s chest, his eyebrows drawn in a sympathetic, knowing frown. Valbar’s heart fluttered again.

Leon stepped closer and looked him in the eye. There was that lazy, beautiful smile again. Just like always.

“I don’t _want_ to die, Val,” he said. “And it’s thanks to you that that’s true.”

He shoved him playfully.

“If I lose you, there’s nobody who could bring me back like you did,” he said. “If you think I don’t want to protect the man who gave me my life back, you don’t know me at all.”

“I know,” Valbar said. “I know, I know.”

He covered Leon’s hand with his own.

“We’re at a bit of a stalemate, aren’t we?” Leon said.

“Just let me patch you up,” Valbar murmured.

Leon laughed. “Fuss over me if you must, old friend.”

“I must,” Valbar nodded. “Someone’s gotta.”

He laced their fingers together and let their hands fall to his side. Leon grinned and bumped him with his shoulder.

“Let’s just both promise to stay alive, all right?” he said. “No matter what.”

He squeezed Valbar’s hand. Valbar chuckled.

“Agreed,” he said. “No matter what.”

Leon hummed contentedly to himself as they started for camp. Valbar focused on that sound, on the warmth of his hand.

No matter what Leon made him promise, he would stop at nothing to make sure that heart kept beating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello it's been a minute
> 
> i'm going to do my best to get the next chapter done within the next two weeks. i've started it, but i haven't gotten far. i'm @static_begone on twitter if you want updates (or memes. i have those too)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one ~ note that the projected chapter count is still inaccurate, and i still don't know exactly how many more chapters there will be, but i can see the path to the end. if I can't promise an exact date for the next one, I'll at least promise there won't be another delay like this one.
> 
> see you, and thanks for reading.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

_VC 401_

Valbar’s rough hands were surprisingly gentle as he tended Leon’s wound. Calling it a wound felt dramatic – the thing had barely grazed him. Leon hadn’t even been planning to tend it, really, beyond watching it to make sure it didn’t become infected.

But Valbar was inclined to worry about everyone – save for himself, but especially for Leon. If fussing over Leon would make him feel better, he might as well let him.

Valbar furrowed his brow and stuck his tongue out ever so slightly as he cleaned away the blood. Leon took this opportunity to look him over, to just take in the sight of him. The focus and care in those eyes, the gentle way he touched Leon’s arm – adorable.

The tent flap parted and Genny poked her head inside. Valbar looked over his shoulder at her.

“Genny,” he said. “Sonya back yet?”

She shook her head and bit her lip. “Deen’s still out looking for her,” she said quietly. “And Palla and them.”

She held out a small leather pouch, which Valbar took.

“She’ll be back,” he said with a smile. “She’s too tough to get taken down out there.”

Genny nodded and departed without another word. Valbar frowned as he turned back to Leon.

“You ought to take your own words to heart, old friend,” Leon said gently.

Valbar grimaced. He opened the pouch Genny had given him, shook a few leaves into a bowl, and began grinding them up with a few drops of water. Leon watched his hands idly.

“Hard not to worry,” he muttered. “Nobody saw her run off. First the princess, now Sonya.”

“Well, we found the princess, anyway,” Leon mused. “I wonder if anyone’s gotten anything out of her about this. Don’t suppose you did.”

“Not a word,” Valbar grunted. He scooped some of the paste out of the bowl and patted it onto Leon’s wound. It stung a bit, but that faded quickly.

“If she tells anyone, it would probably be Mae,” he continued. “Those two are joined at the hip. Us grown-ups will just have to hope it’s nothin’ serious.”

He finished applying the paste and carefully wrapped Leon’s arm in a bandage. The tip of his tongue stuck out again. Leon suppressed a smile.

Valbar tied off the bandage, sat back, and sighed. “There y’are” he grunted, slapping Leon’s knee. “I’m gonna go check on her.”

Leon quickly pulled his shirt back on and followed him out. The rest of the group was gathered in the middle of the camp, save for Kamui, who stood sentry at the edge of the woods. The kids were huddled around the campfire with Celica in the middle and Saber standing nearby, one hand on the pommel of his sword. Conrad had calmed down considerably now that his sister was safe, but it seemed that not even he was having any luck getting her to talk.

Celica lifted her head from Mae’s shoulder as the two of them approached. She gave them a strained smile. She looked pale.

“Is your arm all right, Leon?” she asked.

Leon waved a dismissive hand. “Barely a scratch,” he replied. “_He_ was more worried about it than me.”

Valbar grumbled wordlessly.

“More important,” Leon went on, “Are _you_ all right, priestess?”

Celica nodded stiffly. Leon narrowed his eyes.

“What happened out there?” Valbar asked. His voice was so gentle that it made Leon’s chest ache.

“N-nothing,” Celica insisted, shaking her head. “I… I simply heard a noise in the woods and thought to investigate.”

Saber clicked his tongue. His blind side was to them, but he was certainly paying attention.

Leon echoed his sentiment. “Next time, bring someone along with you, at the very least,” he said. “We’d hardly be doing our jobs as your guards if we let something happen to you.”

Celica furrowed her brow. She sat up straight, distancing herself from Mae. She clasped her hands in her lap and bowed her head.

“It’s very sweet of you all to worry about me,” she said. “But there’s truly no need.”

“You’re certainly making us think there is,” Boey scoffed, crossing his arms.

“You’d tell _us_, right?” Mae asked. She covered Celica’s hands with her own. “If there’s something wrong, you’d tell me, right?”  
“Right?” Genny repeated.

Celica managed a small smile. “Right,” she said quietly. “When there’s something troubling me, I’ll make sure to tell you.”

Mae frowned, holding Celica’s gaze steadily for a few moments. Celica didn’t falter, but nor did Mae seem convinced.

Leon got to his feet and patted Valbar’s shoulder. The poor man’s frown was deeper than ever.

“Come on, old friend,” he said. “The priestess says nothing’s wrong. We’ll just have to trust her.”

Celica’s eyes shifted downwards. Leon watched her.

“Right,” Valbar grunted, rising as well. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do for ya.”

Celica nodded at them, her smile tight. Leon glanced back at her as they walked, and noted the slight frown that returned as soon as she looked away.

“Somethin’ definitely happened out there,” Valbar muttered as they reached the edge of camp. He settled down on a fallen log, facing out to the woods.

“Certainly,” Leon replied. He leaned on Valbar’s back and rested his chin on top of his head. “But if she won’t tell anybody what, well… she’s not hurt, and she came back safe. Maybe we’ve nothing to worry about after all.”

“Maybe,” Valbar mumbled.

Leon laughed to himself. “Not that that will stop you, eh?”

“Nope,” Valbar said.

Leon sat down beside him. They were both silent a while, listening to the wind through the trees, the chatter from the middle of camp, the crackling of the campfire. Leon shivered and moved closer to Valbar, who put an arm around his shoulders without even a glance. Leon stifled a smile. The northern air was frigid, but he was sure he could handle it.

After a few more minutes of quiet, there came a rustling from the woods ahead of them. Valbar stiffened and got to his feet. Leon narrowed his eyes, then relaxed, and reached up to touch Valbar’s arm.

“Deen,” he said, standing up as well.

Sure enough, Deen emerged from the trees a few moments later. He nodded at the two of them without a word.

“Did you find –” Valbar began, but stopped, smiling in relief.

Sonya, like Celica, seemed disheveled but unhurt. She didn’t meet any of their eyes as she emerged from the trees. Her mouth was a thin, hard line.

“Get lost out there?” Leon asked.

“No,” she snapped. “I was… merely looking for something.”

She paused, brushed her hair out of her face, and looked up at Valbar.

“I understand you found the girl,” she said in a tone which forbade questioning. “Where is she?”

Valbar jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Campfire,” he replied. “Sonya, what –”

But Sonya was already brushing past him, striding quickly towards the center of camp. Leon exchanged a bewildered look with Valbar and then followed after her. He could hear Valbar asking Deen what happened, but either he didn’t know or wasn’t saying.

By the time they caught up with her, Sonya had already reached Celica. The poor girl’s eyes were wide as Sonya spoke, her tone quiet but sharp.

“Did you speak to anybody in that forest?” she demanded. “Did you meet anybody there?”

“N-no,” Celica stammered, taken aback. “No, I just –”

Sonya squinted at her. “Mogalls,” she hissed. “That’s what those things were.”  
Leon glanced up at Valbar.

“I’m sorry?” Celica’s voice was thin. Conrad stood behind his sister, eying Sonya warily.

Sonya took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Those creatures,” she continued. “I happen to know they are the pet summon of one particular Rigelian mage.”

Celica’s breath caught and her jaw tightened. Sonya’s gaze did not waver.

“Who would that be?” Saber asked.

Sonya looked at him next, eyes stony.

“Jedah.” She spat the name from her mouth. “The high priest of the Duma Faithful.”

“He was _here_?” Saber demanded.

Conrad gasped. Saber put a steadying hand on his arm.

“I have reason to believe so,” Sonya affirmed. She looked back to Celica now. Her voice was quieter and more restrained as she went on.

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” she told her. “You don’t have to tell me anything. But if that man told you anything at all… know he is a treacherous monster and he speak naught but lies.”

Celica pressed her lips together. An icy wind swept through the campsite.

“I understand,” she wavered.

\- - -

They broke camp after a midday meal, which was a quiet affair indeed. Though their party was whole once again, Valbar felt far from reassured. He kept a close eye on Celica, on all the priory kids, even on the Whitewing sisters. None of them were pushovers in a fight, but… his thoughts raced regardless.

Though they hadn’t gotten so much as one word more out of Celica, her silence felt as good a confession. If she hadn’t met this Jedah in the forest, wouldn’t she have just said so? If he hadn’t threatened her, would she look so afraid? It weighed on her, whatever it was. Seeing her young face so downcast and drawn…

“Valbar.” Leon nudged him. “Where are you right now?”

Valbar blinked and shook his head. Leon smiled up at him, eyebrows raised.

They were in the middle of packing up their tent. Valbar quickly finished folding the canvas he held in his arms.

“’M here,” he mumbled.

“Really,” Leon mused. “You’ve been stock still staring at nothing for a full minute.”

Valbar grimaced. Even if his thoughts hadn’t been written all over his face, Leon would still be able to read them.

“You’re worried about the girl,” Leon said.

“Course I am,” Valbar grunted.

Leon hummed quietly. “Val, you’ll be no good to anyone if all you do is worry.”

“Not like I can help it,” Valbar grumbled. “If I could stop, I would.”

“No you wouldn’t,” Leon sighed.

Valbar couldn’t argue with that. He matched up the edges of the canvas as best he could and tossed it to Leon. In turn, deftly flung it into the back of a nearby wagon. A muffled sound of protest came from within.

“Watch it,” Kamui snapped.

“Sorry,” Leon trilled. Valbar couldn’t help but smile a little.

Leon knelt to pick up his bedroll. Valbar followed suit, slinging his pack over his shoulder. Campsite now cleared, they moved toward the forest to wait.

Most of their party was assembled there already. The Whitewing girls were among them – the older two taking inventory, Est excitedly showing off some trinket or another to a wide-eyed Genny.

Sonya, Deen, Conrad, Boey… Valbar did a head count, but didn’t see Celica or Mae anywhere.

“There,” Leon intoned, tapping his arm.

Valbar looked where he indicated. The two girls stood near the extinguished campfire. As Valbar watched, Mae pulled Celica into a hug, which, after a moment, she returned.

“She’ll be all right,” Leon murmured.

Valbar looked down and found Leon staring right back at him, smiling that lazy smile of his again.

The sight of it made something move in his chest.

“Us grown-ups aside,” Leon said, “Do you really think her friends would let anything happen to her?”

“No,” Valbar replied, hardly able to breathe.

Leon’s smile widened slightly. He shoved Valbar’s shoulder playfully and then stepped away.

Valbar watched him walk towards the front of the convoy, watched his hair drift behind him on the cold northern wind, watched his cloak flutter around his ankles.

He somehow couldn’t look away.

Leon walked out of his sight around the side of one of the wagons. Valbar shook himself and closed his eyes. His heart was beating a little faster than normal. He took a few deep breaths.

He knew he spent too much time in his head. He didn’t know how not to. Lucky that Leon, at least, could stay grounded when he was not.

Or he was very good at pretending to be, in any case. Leon could be even more fretful than Valbar if it came to it. He’d seen him consumed by his thoughts plenty of times, after all.

Leon was comforting, though, regardless. When reassurance came from Leon, Valbar always caught himself thinking everything really could work out.

“Valbar,” Kamui called from behind him. He turned to meet him.

“We about ready to move out?” Valbar asked.

Kamui nodded. He rested one hand on the pommel of his sword, ever at his waist. “If you’re about ready,” he said. “We’re all packed up. Bound for a town a ways east of here. Sonya advised we change course a bit.”

“She seems to know a fair bit about that priest, eh,” Valbar commented.

Kamui shrugged. “Might be Rigelian. Not that we’ll get anything out of her about it.” He rubbed at his nose and leaned back on one foot.

“Some journey we ended up takin’ you on, huh?”

“Tell me about it.” Kamui ran his fingers through his hair. “Help me kill a pirate. Help me escort this long-lost princess across the border into enemy country. Help me rescue a god.”

Valbar chuckled. “You’re perfectly free to take your earnings and run,” he reminded him. “You’ve no contract keeping you with us.”

Kamui scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’ve got a fistful of gold marks keepin’ me here.”

He looked around at the convoy, and then quietly added, “And, well – it’s not been all bad gettin’ out here and seein’ the world, y’know.”

“Perk of the job.”

“Only one.”

Palla called out from the front of the convoy. She and her sisters rose into the air on their pegasi, hovering in wait for the wagons to begin moving.

“Hup,” Kamui grunted. “Grab the girls, will ya?”

Valbar nodded and Kamui darted away. When he turned back around, Celica and Mae were already rushing toward him, hand in hand. He smiled at them as they rushed past, and followed them back to the group. He watched them climb into the back of one of the wagons, hoisted up by Boey and Conrad. Once she was seated, Celica pulled her hood over her head. Her brother had suggested that their distinctive red hair might draw unwanted attention on the road, especially once they entered Rigel.

With everyone accounted for, the convoy began to move. Palla led her sisters ahead of them all, soaring high above, scouting the way. Valbar watched them as he walked beside Celica’s wagon. Est rolled her pegasus in midair, laughing raucously to loud scolding from Catria. Valbar could faintly hear Palla reprimanding them both. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Val!”

Before Valbar could turn around, Leon had drawn level with him.

“Leon,” he answered, hoping his tone sounded light.

Leon stretched his arms high over his head and yawned. “It’s a good think we’ll be stopping over tonight,” he sighed. “We’re nearly out of everything. I just checked with Saber…”

They talked here and there as the convoy pressed on. Never about the task at hand, never about what might happen after they completed it – or didn’t. Only about now, about tonight, and no farther than that.

Valbar wasn’t afraid for himself, come whatever may. Physical pain would pass. He’d never been afraid of it. Death, either. If it came for him, that was that. He couldn’t fight it.

No, Valbar didn’t fear death. Not his own.

Leon bumped him with his elbow. Valbar pulled himself out of his thoughts.

“You left again,” Leon teased.

“Ah.” Valbar shook his head.

“Where’d you go this time?”

“Nowhere. Just tired.”

“It _has_ been one hell of a day already,” Leon sighed.

“How’s the arm?”

“Gangrenous.”

“Leon.”  
“It’s _fine_, Val.” Leon brushed his hair behind his shoulder. “You worry too much.”

The nickname again. It made Valbar’s heart skip.

“When did you start calling me that, anyway?” he asked.

Leon shrugged. “Couldn’t tell you,” he replied. “It comes naturally.”

“Victoria called me that,” Valbar said. He hadn’t meant to.

A few moments of silence followed, filled with the creaking of wagon wheels and the snorts of horses.

“I see,” Leon replied. His voice was soft. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”

“No,” Valbar said quickly. “You – you don’t need – that’s not what I meant.”

He could feel Leon’s eyes on him as he tried to put his thoughts in order.

“It’s just strange,” he decided. “It’s been a while. Since I got called that.”

“If you mind –”

Valbar shook his head.

“I like it,” he mumbled. “It’s just been a while.”

He smiled at him, and Leon smiled back. There was a touch of sadness behind his eyes.

“I see,” Leon intoned.

The sun grew higher in the sky as they pressed on. It was beginning to sink again as Sonya, from her seat at the front of the convoy, called out that the village was within sight. Valbar was glad for it; early as it was, the air was already growing cold as night. Leon had retrieved a cloak from one of the wagons and draped it over Valbar’s shoulders, which eased the cold a little, but there would be nothing like settling into a proper bed at an inn. It was a luxury they hadn’t known for some time.

Leon stayed close by his side as the lights of the town grew brighter. Valbar could feel him shivering. He was far too skinny to be comfortable out here.

Their group was halted only briefly by a sentry posted at the village entrance. Saber spoke briefly with them and they waved him on, standing aside to let the convoy pass. Leon hopped up onto the side of a nearby wagon as the road narrowed, hanging onto one of the struts supporting the wagon cover. Valbar remained on the ground, but watched as Leon shaded his eyes and mocked scouting ahead, cloak billowing behind him.

“Cover up, now,” Valbar said. “You’ll catch your death out here.”

Leon responded only by sticking his tongue out at him.

Mae poked her head out the front of the wagon and immediately drew it back in, screaming in shock at the cold. Valbar could hear the other kids laughing at her. Leon chuckled gently. He swayed a bit as the wagon hit a bump. Valbar put a hand on his hip.

It being a cold evening, most of this town’s occupants were holed up in their homes rather than out and about. The warm glow of the windows they passed was enough to make Valbar shiver.

They reached an inn shortly. Saber tasked Leon and Valbar with securing rooms while he made arrangements for their wagons and horses. He looked somewhat furtive as he asked them; doubtless he was uneasy being this close to the country he had fled. Valbar was happy to give him one less thing to worry about.

There weren’t many open rooms left at the inn, but there were enough for them all to get out of the cold, at least. The priory kids and Conrad in one room, the Whitewings and Sonya in another, and Leon, Valbar, and the mercs in the third. They all moved their things into their respective rooms and settled in for the night quickly. Deen deposited his small pack in one corner and left the room without a word, posting up in the hallway and starting the sentry rotation they’d kept all the way here.

Leon flopped back onto one of the beds with a deep sigh. He closed his eyes and smiled contentedly.

“At last,” he breathed. “No more camping.”

“We ship out again tomorrow,” Kamui reminded him, kicking at Leon’s legs as he passed. “Don’t get too used to it.”

Valbar sat down next to Leon, making the bedsprings creak. Leon sat up and leaned on Valbar’s shoulder without even opening his eyes.

“C’mon,” he muttered. “At least take your coat off first. Don’t go noddin’ off yet.”

“I take it you two are fine sharin’ a bed,” Saber noted. “Kamui – I’ll take the floor.”

“Suit yourself,” Kamui shrugged.

Valbar eyed the bed. “Am I even gonna fit,” he muttered to Leon.

“We’ll make it work,” Leon yawned.

“I’ll take the floor as well.”

“Nuh-uh,” Leon said, hugging Valbar’s arm. “I’d never dream of casting you out into the cold like that, my dear friend.”

Kamui scoffed and laid down with his back to them. Valbar suppressed a smile. “C’mon,” he said. “Let go of me.”

Leon released his arm and laid down. There _was_ enough room for Valbar, but only just.

Saber extinguished the lamp. “Good night, gentlemen,” he intoned.

Valbar squeezed in beside Leon, who shifted a bit to give him more room.

“Sleep well,” he whispered.

“You too,” Valbar replied.

\- - -

“I wish you didn’t have to go, Val,” Victoria sighed.

Valbar looked away from the road, where Byron was playing with his friends. Victoria’s brow was furrowed, her eyes fixed straight ahead, her mouth a hard line.

He put an arm around her shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb.

“I know,” he murmured back. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “I know you have to. I’m proud of you for it.”  
She leaned on him, her head resting on his chest.

“I always knew this would happen,” she said. “I just never thought the time would really come.”

They said nothing for a while, listening to Byron and his friends shouting from the street. Byron was smaller than most of the other children, but more than their equal when it came to games of tag. As they watched, he caught up to one of his friends and tapped their arm, tagging them “it.” He crowed with delight and sprinted away, his little round face flushed – the picture of health.

It had been years since Byron had been sick at all. Valbar could hardly believe how strong he was now. He’d never have believed it of the frail, skinny infant Byron had been.

Victoria laced her fingers in his. He squeezed her hand.

“I know you’ll come back,” she said.

“Course.”

“Don’t get killed.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Byron tripped over something and nearly fell. Valbar instinctively tensed, ready to dash over and help him up, but he got his feet back under him all on his own and kept running.

Victoria touched his chest as he sat back down.

“We’ll be fine,” she murmured. “You know that.”

Valbar looked down at her. Her expression was soft. Looking into her eyes made his heart flutter.

“I do,” he replied, haltingly. “I just…”

Her hand moved in slow circles over his heart.

“…I just can’t help but feel… like somethin’ bad could happen while I’m gone,” he mumbled.

She actually scoffed a little at this. “With _your_ brother and sister looking after us? _Your_ Ewan and Lorraine? I hardly think so.”

Valbar chuckled. “I s’pose I can’t argue that.”

Victoria raised their clasped hands to her lips. She kissed his knuckles.

“You should be worried about yourself, Val,” she said. “Not us. Let me do the worrying about us.”

Byron raced down the road as fast as his little legs would carry him. Another small boy chased after him. They were dirty and breathless and having the time of their lives.

Victoria cupped Valbar’s chin in her hand and gently turned him to face her. She smiled and stroked his cheek.

“We’ll be just fine, Val,” she said. Her voice was gentle. “Don’t you even look back. Focus ahead and keep us safe.”

She guided his face down to hers and kissed him. Valbar closed his eyes.

“Just don’t do anything to make me worry,” she said, her lips just brushing his.

He shivered.

“I won’t,” he promised.

Victoria smiled and pulled away. “I’ll hold you to that,” she said.

She leaned back in her seat again. Valbar rested his cheek against her head.

Byron skidded to a stop, apparently enraptured by something on the ground. He stooped to pick it up, cupping whatever it was in his hands, and abandoned his games to rush towards his parents.

“Papa! Mama!” he called.

“What’cha got there?” Valbar smiled. He poked his son’s nose and he giggled.

“Guess!” Byron explained, tottering from foot to foot.

Valbar leaned back, one finger to his chin in a pantomime of thinking. Byron beamed, eyes wide and sparkling. Valbar had always thought those were Victoria’s eyes, but she insisted they were his.

“Is it… a million gold marks?” Victoria asked.

Byron snickered, shaking his head. His hair bounced around his face. It was getting long again.

“Is it… magic beans?” Valbar guessed.

“_No!_” Byron shouted gleefully.

“I bet it’s a bug,” Victoria said, squinting at him. “Isn’t it?”

Byron squinted back at her and twisted his mouth mischievously.

“Give us a look, then,” Valbar said.

Byron unfolded his hands. Sitting in his little pink palm was, as expected, an iridescent green beetle. They were common around here, but Byron still loved their colors.

Valbar raised his eyebrows. “Woah, Byron, this one’s incredible!”

“I know!” Byron grinned. He puffed out his tiny chest. “I caught it myself! I saved it off the road. Did you see?”

“We _did_,” Victoria smiled. She brushed a lock of hair out of their son’s eyes. “You’re the best bug-catcher in town.”

Valbar patted him on the head. “You let it go in the garden, buddy,” he said. “Then got get washed up for dinner, okay?”

Byron nodded and hurried back down the porch steps. Valbar watched him run out of sight around the corner of the house.

“He won’t forget you,” Victoria said.

Valbar blinked at her. She met his eyes steadily.

“He’s so young,” he said. “The time I’ll be gone… he’ll barely know me.”

She took his hand once more and squeezed it. “I’ll remind him,” she said. “Every day if I have to, how strong and brave his papa is.”

Valbar lowered his eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair.

“Val, look at me,” she murmured.

He did. She smiled like she hadn’t a worry in the world.

She kissed him and rested her forehead against his. Valbar closed his eyes.

“You’ll make us proud,” she said. “Don’t you worry. Even from all the way back here, we’ve got your back.”

“I know.”

“I love you, Val.”

“I love you, too.”

With one last kiss to his brow, Victoria rose from her seat. Byron returned from the garden, loudly humming one of the songs she’d taught him. Victoria scooped him up and rested him against her hip, though he was getting too big for her to do so easily.

She smiled at Valbar once more.

“Eyes forward,” she said. “We’ll be all right.”

\- - -

It was still dark when Valbar awoke. He blinked a few times, disoriented.

Leon mumbled in his sleep. Valbar realized his arm was draped across Leon’s hip.

His heart skipped. He withdrew his arm slowly, carefully, so as not to rouse him. Every part of his body that touched Leon’s felt like it was on fire.

Valbar closed his eyes to it. He rolled onto his other side, facing away. It was much easier to breathe, he found, when his face was not inches from Leon’s hair. He smelled familiar. Unremarkable. A scent Valbar knew, but rarely noticed.

Now, somehow, he noticed.

The door opened. Whispered conversation flitted past as the mercs switched watch. The door closed. The night air was still. Leon’s quiet breathing so close at hand was the only sound to be heard.

Valbar touched his wedding ring. He clenched his fist so the metal squeezed his finger.

He closed his eyes, but could not even pretend to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coughs
> 
> that was a long two weeks huh. possibly one of the longest two weeks ive ever experienced
> 
> sorry about that. things should be a bit more frequent from here on out. you can see i've moved the finish line again - we're looking at closer to 18 total chapters lads hope you enjoy the rest of the ride


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